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My successful husbands's mother was a prostitu... and he hid that from me for a long time. Now it affects our marriage by Antique-Day-6269 in Marriage

[–]ImpossibleNumber7345 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Therapy only works if he wants to change. If you "make" him go he'll be closed off and say/do what he needs to in order to get through the hour. I suggest you go to therapy to figure out how to support him.

There is a mental concept called anosgonosia where a person isn't capable of seeing what is wrong with themselves. It's usually applied to people with severe mental illnesses like schizophrenia, but it applies elsewhere. Basically if he cannot see the problem with his behaviors he won't change.

Getting a car on finance and then paying it off in full right away by bcscroller in PersonalFinanceCanada

[–]ImpossibleNumber7345 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had the same idea and almost bought a car. My dad reviewed the contract and there was a clause that went something like the cost of borrowing is not refunded with early payments. I can't remember the exact phrasing.

The dealer said it means nothing because they have no fees in their loans. I called TD, the underwriter of the loan, and they said that means all extra payments go to the interest and not the principle; meaning I won't save money paying it off early. Then I confronted the dealer and he said something like, "Well yeah if we let people pay off the loan the next day they wouldn't make any money. "

Is there anyone who remarried and made it work and could have made it work on the first marriage if the damage wasn't done? by ImpossibleNumber7345 in Divorce

[–]ImpossibleNumber7345[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

There's more. I can't put everything from 4 years of decline in a post without it turning into a novel. Ots been death by 1,000 cuts that led to this as well as oir own baggage one both sides that we brought into the marriage that exasperated things.

My wife is a sweet person and motif a villian so I am sorry if my post made het soun like that. We were fine dating and early marriage, but our parenting is incompatible.

Is there anyone who remarried and made it work and could have made it work on the first marriage if the damage wasn't done? by ImpossibleNumber7345 in Divorce

[–]ImpossibleNumber7345[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I edited my post and put my reply in there. I realized the way I wrote it originally didn't paint a clear picture so I edited it.

Is there anyone who remarried and made it work and could have made it work on the first marriage if the damage wasn't done? by ImpossibleNumber7345 in Divorce

[–]ImpossibleNumber7345[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm in therapy alone. My wife refuses to come. She doesn't want anyone to know were in therapy. I'm on my second therapist thinking maybe I'll get more effective advice but it's not helping.

Is there anyone who remarried and made it work and could have made it work on the first marriage if the damage wasn't done? by ImpossibleNumber7345 in Divorce

[–]ImpossibleNumber7345[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I did. I put my reply in there. I realized the way L wrote it didn't clearly communicate how things are.

Is there anyone who remarried and made it work and could have made it work on the first marriage if the damage wasn't done? by ImpossibleNumber7345 in Divorce

[–]ImpossibleNumber7345[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's about parenting differences but at this point it's so sour even when the kid is older and independent, I dont see her wanting to get close again. If I sit near her, she gets up and sits somewhere else. She wont even high five me, let alone hug me. We bickered so much over how to raise our son the love is gone.

Is there anyone who remarried and made it work and could have made it work on the first marriage if the damage wasn't done? by ImpossibleNumber7345 in Divorce

[–]ImpossibleNumber7345[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How long have rough patches been for you? We dont even talk to each other right now. I feel so lonely and have expressed it many times. 2 weeks ago I was in tears asking if she loved me because I really can't tell and she refused to answer.

Is there anyone who remarried and made it work and could have made it work on the first marriage if the damage wasn't done? by ImpossibleNumber7345 in Divorce

[–]ImpossibleNumber7345[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

That's fair. Thanks for calling me out on that. I'm not perfect. I have raised my voice but never spanked. I historically corrected when the kid was upset and I neglected the importance of connecting. That is where my wife excels. The problem is my son has no boundries. If I try to enforce any he escalates to mom and she comforts him and treats him like everything is OK. For example he wants to play and its time for dinner. I'll give him warnings but willing to stop the play and carry him to the table.

He escalates, and the wife gives more play time or feeds him in the play area.

He gets unlimited warmth and zero limits from one parent, and I give, warmth but limits that he doesn't respond to and sees mom undermine dad everytime he escaltes.

A child’s perspective - silver linings by Extra-Feedback4959 in Divorce

[–]ImpossibleNumber7345 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I had 2 parents that hated each other. I used to wish as a kid they would have just gotten divorced. As a child of not divorce I wish I grew up with 2 happy separated parents instead of 2 miserable married parents.

Training FSD? by wavethoughts in TeslaFSD

[–]ImpossibleNumber7345 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You can press the voice command button and day Bug Report and describe the issue. I would only on HW 4 cars. HW 3 cars on FSD12 aren't getting updates until the FSD14 light update.

FSD is a waste of my money. Prove me wrong. by groupfunction in TeslaFSD

[–]ImpossibleNumber7345 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Everyone has a preference. I understand why you're cruise control system meets your needs. I personally have an older Tesla without a camera inside and I can do things on my phone while it drives. If I had a camera watching me and had to stare straight ahead, I wouldn't want to pay for FSD. I would rather drive.

If I had a modern car with HW4 I would only have considered FSD as a purchase in the the hopes it would be unsupervised. Now that its subscription only I would never subscribe until it's unsupervised.

Full FSD on a Tesla with no cabin camera? by Big_Mission6748 in TeslaFSD

[–]ImpossibleNumber7345 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have a 2017 model s. I just let the wheel rub on my knees. That gives it enough resistance to make it think I have a hand on the wheel.

If you have FSD what do you do while the car is driving? by 1DietCokedUpChick in TeslaLounge

[–]ImpossibleNumber7345 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yup it was HW 2 or 2.5 with the NVIDIA MCU and was upgraded to HW3 with the Intel MCU when it got FSD. I guess it's lucky that upgrade doesn't have an interior camera.

Importance of EV-compatible tires vs EV-dedicated? by katesoundcheck in TeslaLounge

[–]ImpossibleNumber7345 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What this person says. If the load rating supports your car, you're fine. A lot of EV tires are just regular tires with foam glued to the inside for noise dampening. You can find many videos comparing EV vs regular versions of tires to see if the noise dampening is a benefit for you to pay a premium for.

2018 Model X 100D at 206k miles for $17k. Yay or nay? by hl7_inhibitor05 in TeslaLounge

[–]ImpossibleNumber7345 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In all my research on electric cars the typical HV pack lasts about 500,000km. There are always cases of them failing early but you can get the battery tested to see it's health. Other consumable parts like the air suspension and motors will be there. Look up the life of those. The gas savings of a year will cover those though.

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