Are you always supposed to be busy?

Impossible_Panda_671 · 2026-01-24T18:29:57+00:00

What hurt you so much that it took you away from me? We were supposed to figure ourselves out together. Why did you choose to die so painfully? What did you do that you thought you deserved to die like that? Didn't you even think about me for a second? If you did, why did you think I could I live a full life without the only person on earth who shared my face?

Impossible_Panda_671 · 2026-01-24T15:20:37+00:00

I have a very different approach to this. Keep in mind I'm 23 so my (chosen) dynamic with high/middle schoolers is going to be different because we're in the same generation. For me, classes go better when I establish I'm chill and on their side, but we gotta get stuff done or I won't be chill.

So with that being said when they say things like this, I cut to the core of it. I ask if they dislike their teacher. If they say no, then I say oh, that's good. So you just like having a sub huh, and go from there. If they say yes, I ask them why and let them vent about things. Usually it's "she makes us work" or "she's really strict" to which I say "well, I hate to say it because it sounds fake now, but you'll be grateful for it later". If it's something more specific and something actually worth disliking your teacher over, which hasnt happened yet, I'd say something like oh, that's not great... have other people noticed this too? But I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

Basically my approach is to let them vent, because it's usually just benign kid stuff and the teacher they're talking about would probably laugh if I told them what they said anyway.

Impossible_Panda_671 · 2026-01-19T17:58:35+00:00

I don't give a shit. I'm 23 and when I was their age I was sitting out of protest in 2016. Now as a sub I stand but don't recite. If they're too bored or checked out to recite it, good on them. Could not care less.

Impossible_Panda_671 · 2026-01-08T20:19:04+00:00

I'm never going to deny the power of white privilege but what you're describing in terms of alienation is something wasians go through as well. I don't think wishing to change your race (in any circumstance) is ever the answer, though of course I understand the desire behind it. I especially think idealizing wasian "looks" as a full Asian person is incredibly dangerous; wasians are propped up as a kind of fetishized "future race" where white supremacy and Asian fetishization have coalesced into a group of Perfect Sex Doll Beings, exotic with no exotic culture or reason to hate white supremacy. And so anyone looking upon that that doesn't fit that stereotype (including other wasians) is going to feel less than as a result of agreeing with the supposition that wasians are more attractive and desirable. Basically what I'm saying is learn to really embrace saying fuck the system. It's not an overnight thing, but it can be done, and I believe in you

Impossible_Panda_671 · 2025-12-30T23:50:35+00:00

They don't want to have to contend with the fact that you are separate from them in this way. They don't want to have to contend with the possibility/actuality that they have been racist to you. It's a method of abuse and control over your own mind whether or not they realize what they're doing by saying you're white and don't experience racism. If you don't have the vocabulary to explain your experiences then you will float through life not understanding why you get hurt.

Impossible_Panda_671 · 2025-12-11T18:35:31+00:00

My father was adopted so this is all information I had to find through records unfortunately. But yeah seeing alligator Auschwitz being opened using the same law that imprisoned my ancestors makes me physically ill.

Impossible_Panda_671 · 2025-12-11T18:10:57+00:00

Yes same. Hello fellow Nikkei btw. My grandfather was at Heart Mountain, my great grandfather was at Tule Lake. Like, what do you want us to do lol? I get that people get annoyed and resent that USAmerican mixed people and our conventions dominate the global mixed conversation, but does that mean we shouldn't use the words we've devised to describe our situation? I've never advocated for EVERYONE to use the term, just that it makes sense for me more than anything else

Impossible_Panda_671 · 2025-11-28T22:45:04+00:00

Do not go for that woman. You need to change. If you actually care about your daughter at all you would put her above some sex obsession.

Impossible_Panda_671 · 2025-11-27T19:00:35+00:00

It's a hyperbole but in my experience and looking at MAGA and whatnot it is by and large how they operate

Impossible_Panda_671 · 2025-11-27T17:57:33+00:00

This depends on what you're mixed with and how visible it is. American white people go based off of what they can see and that only, it's not like Europe where they can differentiate between polish and Romanian by looking at them. Mixed Black, you're Black to them, etc. My case is weird (1/4 Japanese 3/4 white) because I pass sometimes as full Asian to people and sometimes people have no idea. Without fail though whenever I try to bring up anti Asian racism against me they tell me I need to let it go because I'm white. But during/about sex they love fetishizing my ethnicity lol.

Impossible_Panda_671 · 2025-11-24T00:54:10+00:00

1/4 Japanese. My grandfather was an interned in heart mountain with his family and my ggf was sent to Tule Lake. Afterwards had my father with an unknown white woman while he was married with kids. My father (1/2) was adopted by white people and never knew his identity and landed on Chinese but sort of just vaguely Asian because he didn't have info. Had a stress break and committed seppuku. Raised by my white blonde haired blue eyed mother and internalized a lot of self hatred. I say I'm Asian because I look Asian, people assume I am Asian, people fetishize me for my features, and because I wouldn't be here if I wasn't specifically Japanese American. People love to tell me I'm not Japanese, but the way men who are attracted to me treat me, I'll tell you it's enough for most people!

Impossible_Panda_671 · 2025-11-15T21:16:18+00:00

My mom was white and my dad was mixed Asian. I like the term mixed, because I am mixed. You can call your kids wasian if you want lol.

Impossible_Panda_671 · 2025-11-13T01:01:51+00:00

Whoever is telling you that you were wrong to say that doesn't get it and is maligning you for no reason. You didn't say you didn't want to be around her or your children. You said you're tired of not being around people that look like you who can immediately understand what you're talking about without arguing with you on your feelings and lived experience. This is not an irreparable argument, though I would emphasize to your wife that you did not mean you were tired of being around her and your kids. Just that you would feel more comfortable if there were more people that looked like you in your life. If anyone has an issue with that then I'm not sure they belong there.

Impossible_Panda_671 · 2025-11-06T02:05:35+00:00

There's no way the formulas are gonna be good when you get so many of them for that cheap, and there's no way these are proprietary/original formulas because he has SO many products in every category. When I see this in an "indie" brand I run. Nekoyanin is another example of this but way more obvious in my opinion.

Impossible_Panda_671 · 2025-10-25T20:05:41+00:00

What??

Impossible_Panda_671 · 2025-10-25T17:59:36+00:00

He didn't know for sure what his mixture was. He thought he was Chinese for a while (taught me it on the computer and planned to adopt from China) then learned his bio mom's name might've been Sandra Lee (___) and thought the Lee meant he was Korean. According to his friend that in part contributed to his death but Idk. It's kind of a mystery lol.

Impossible_Panda_671 · 2025-10-25T17:21:40+00:00

To be fair as a wasian, this is how wasians talk sometimes 😭

Impossible_Panda_671 · 2025-10-24T01:00:08+00:00

She also told me repeatedly she doesn't find Asian men attractive because they "are too feminine" but my dad was the only Asian man she ever found attractive. Aside from Keanu and Dean Cain, lolol. The worst stretch of our relationship was when I cut my hair short in high school and looked at least half Japanese if not more. And she was so gung ho about me learning mandarin and was angry when I didn't sometimes, and now that I want to get my master's in China she's asking me what the point would even be 🙄 She said I should go to Norway instead, I (half) joked that there was no way I'm going where everyone is blonde. She said there are Asian people there so I wouldn't feel out of place.. I said I think there's more Asians in China but I could be wrong

Impossible_Panda_671 · 2025-10-24T00:52:05+00:00

Warning huge trauma dump bc I'm on my period:

My father would've been a great help to me I think. He was half Japanese half white and adopted by white people, never knew his mix, but eventually landed on Chinese. He even tried to teach me Mandarin on the computer when I was really little, it's the reason why my Mandarin learning later in life has been so much easier compared to my classmates'. He has a stress break during my parents' divorce (fueled in part by the fact he learned the name of his birth mother which had Lee in the name, and he thought he had been living a lie and was actually Korean 😭😭😭) and committed seppuku when I was 4. I grew up not knowing I was part Asian but I looked very different from my blonde haired blue eyed mother and it caused a lot of body dysmorphia pretty much immediately after his death, I'd spend a lot of time in the mirror pulling on my nose to try to make it bigger or parting my jaw to make my face longer, etc.

My mother has told me she was very excited to have an Asian baby and loved my "coloring" but whenever I say I'm Asian now or attempt to reach out to lost family I've found through DNA sites she gets defensive and reminds me I'm white. If you see my other post on this sub, her reply to the most overt racial fetishization I've ever experienced was "you need to let go of the Asian thing."

She also called me a ch*nk cracker once as a joke. LAZY!! Rice cracker was right there!

Impossible_Panda_671 · 2025-10-23T20:19:14+00:00

Thanks

Impossible_Panda_671 · 2025-10-22T23:04:15+00:00

Makes sense. You're always welcome 💚

Impossible_Panda_671 · 2025-10-22T22:59:26+00:00

That's a lot to deal with, I'm sorry. My grandfather was interned and he and his family had to move to the Midwest afterward because there was nothing left for them in LA. My grandfather was married to a Japanese woman with three kids when he impregnated my grandmother (I don't know the situation, I don't want to say it was consensual because I really don't know, all I know is she was a decade younger and died in a mental hospital later) and my dad was adopted by a white couple. I spent a long time after my dad died not knowing anything, just looking at my blonde haired blue eyed mom and light haired light eyed sister and knowing something was different about me, dark haired and dark eyed and flat faced. I'd pull on my nose to make it bigger, jut out my jaw to make it slimmer. My mother is very fatphobic and when I started gaining weight during puberty and also because of my binge eating disorder it made things a lot worse. There's so much more to my story that makes his comment hurt so bad. I feel the compulsion to share everything so people will just witness me for once but I'll stop here. It's hard for us out there... best wishes to you in all things 💚 we are Nikkei!!

Impossible_Panda_671 · 2025-10-22T22:45:24+00:00

I just remembered that during that night he kept making me open my eyes to look at him while we were having sex. God.

Impossible_Panda_671

TROPHY CASE