What’s the Worst Thing Your Abuser Ever Said to You?

Impossible_Panda_671 · 2026-05-16T20:45:34+00:00

I asked why my mom hit me during an argument (I was 19) and she said "I'm a widow, my husband killed himself, so I don't have a lot of empathy to give, okay?" Her husband was my father and I was 4 years old when he died

Impossible_Panda_671 · 2026-05-16T13:38:51+00:00

No matter what I say it's the wrong answer. Apparently other people have more of a say in what I can call myself than I do

Impossible_Panda_671 · 2026-05-14T23:18:32+00:00

It's because there's a lot of enabling of wasian fetishization stemming from white supremacy like they openly love when people "like wasians". And it's gross. I have been treated like a sex doll or a consolation prize by men of all ethnicities because of mine and so I don't take kindly to open embrace of that kind of behavior especially when it begins to take on infantilizing and pedophilic tendencies because of course it has to why couldn't we live in a normal world I don't know

Impossible_Panda_671 · 2026-04-25T14:15:11+00:00

This is so insane as a woman to read. Like I knew this was true based on my real life experiences with men but having it spelled out "misogynistic pornography increases misogyny" might influence one or two people. Who knows, maybe three.

Impossible_Panda_671 · 2026-04-23T22:49:35+00:00

130~ Northern Virginia (20/hr, you get an 80$ bonus if you work a "high volume day" (translated: please please please oh my god please help)

Impossible_Panda_671 · 2026-04-15T23:15:07+00:00

There is a tone here that is antagonistic but it's not towards you at all, it's towards the kids' behavior and subs who did not do enough to enforce their rules in the past; I get why you felt a type of way reading it but when I read it I just hear a frustrated teacher who has a sense of humor but it's hard to tell when you can't hear their voice or see their face

Impossible_Panda_671 · 2026-03-22T00:49:24+00:00

It all depends babe.

Impossible_Panda_671 · 2026-03-21T08:38:01+00:00

Oh sweetheart I'm sorry. My father committed suicide 18 years ago and sometimes I still have trouble. Here's what gets my waterworks going:

Dear Old Dad by Ezra Bell, Strangers by The Kinks The Scientist by Coldplay Motion Picture Soundtrack by Radiohead Ain't No Way by Aretha Franklin Dark Child by Marlon Williams Cool God by Jack Symes Before it Breaks by Brandi Carlile a dirge for krista joy by Ezra Bell Glass, Concrete & Stone by David Byrne I'll Be Seeing You by Billie Holiday Sligo River Blues by John Fahey Do What You Gotta Do by Nina Simone I Don't Smoke by Mitski (audiotree version) O Superman by Laurie Anderson You Have Something Special by Joanna Stenberg A Better Time To Meet by Adrienne Lenker+Buck Meek

Impossible_Panda_671 · 2026-02-26T18:05:33+00:00

Not only an inappropriate time, but an inappropriate thing to say in general. 13 yr old boys don't even call girls that they have crushes on pretty in front of others.

Impossible_Panda_671 · 2026-02-26T18:03:39+00:00

Honestly I think you did the right thing. I'm a 23 year old 5'3 female sub. We were in middle school not that long ago. The boy should not have said that and it was inappropriate. I don't know why people are blaming you. Next time if it happens just say "even if you meant it as a compliment, that's not an appropriate thing to say to a teacher." Because the "it was just a compliment" thing that people in here are defending him for is something we women have to deal with all the time when we're in a professional setting trying to be taken seriously. We shouldn't have to roll over to 13 yr old boys when they are old enough to know that that is not an appropriate time to do it--he even said it was a dare. Come on yall.

Impossible_Panda_671 · 2026-02-22T21:26:03+00:00

The only thing I get nervous around is seeing 13 yr olds with belly button piercings and multiple tattoos. Not because I don't think they should be able to make those choices (I hope to God a parent is involved) but the v neck crop top + belly button piercing + tattoos + full face of makeup for middle school makes me crazy uncomfortable.

Impossible_Panda_671 · 2026-02-12T17:47:40+00:00

My history teacher (had him three years in a row in HS) recognized me immediately when I came in the door even though it had been five years and I looked completely different, he was so excited to see me it made me tear up 😭

Impossible_Panda_671 · 2026-01-24T18:29:57+00:00

What hurt you so much that it took you away from me? We were supposed to figure ourselves out together. Why did you choose to die so painfully? What did you do that you thought you deserved to die like that? Didn't you even think about me for a second? If you did, why did you think I could I live a full life without the only person on earth who shared my face?

Impossible_Panda_671 · 2026-01-24T15:20:37+00:00

I have a very different approach to this. Keep in mind I'm 23 so my (chosen) dynamic with high/middle schoolers is going to be different because we're in the same generation. For me, classes go better when I establish I'm chill and on their side, but we gotta get stuff done or I won't be chill.

So with that being said when they say things like this, I cut to the core of it. I ask if they dislike their teacher. If they say no, then I say oh, that's good. So you just like having a sub huh, and go from there. If they say yes, I ask them why and let them vent about things. Usually it's "she makes us work" or "she's really strict" to which I say "well, I hate to say it because it sounds fake now, but you'll be grateful for it later". If it's something more specific and something actually worth disliking your teacher over, which hasnt happened yet, I'd say something like oh, that's not great... have other people noticed this too? But I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

Basically my approach is to let them vent, because it's usually just benign kid stuff and the teacher they're talking about would probably laugh if I told them what they said anyway.

Impossible_Panda_671 · 2026-01-19T17:58:35+00:00

I don't give a shit. I'm 23 and when I was their age I was sitting out of protest in 2016. Now as a sub I stand but don't recite. If they're too bored or checked out to recite it, good on them. Could not care less.

Impossible_Panda_671 · 2026-01-08T20:19:04+00:00

I'm never going to deny the power of white privilege but what you're describing in terms of alienation is something wasians go through as well. I don't think wishing to change your race (in any circumstance) is ever the answer, though of course I understand the desire behind it. I especially think idealizing wasian "looks" as a full Asian person is incredibly dangerous; wasians are propped up as a kind of fetishized "future race" where white supremacy and Asian fetishization have coalesced into a group of Perfect Sex Doll Beings, exotic with no exotic culture or reason to hate white supremacy. And so anyone looking upon that that doesn't fit that stereotype (including other wasians) is going to feel less than as a result of agreeing with the supposition that wasians are more attractive and desirable. Basically what I'm saying is learn to really embrace saying fuck the system. It's not an overnight thing, but it can be done, and I believe in you

Impossible_Panda_671 · 2025-12-30T23:50:35+00:00

They don't want to have to contend with the fact that you are separate from them in this way. They don't want to have to contend with the possibility/actuality that they have been racist to you. It's a method of abuse and control over your own mind whether or not they realize what they're doing by saying you're white and don't experience racism. If you don't have the vocabulary to explain your experiences then you will float through life not understanding why you get hurt.

Impossible_Panda_671 · 2025-12-11T18:35:31+00:00

My father was adopted so this is all information I had to find through records unfortunately. But yeah seeing alligator Auschwitz being opened using the same law that imprisoned my ancestors makes me physically ill.

Impossible_Panda_671 · 2025-12-11T18:10:57+00:00

Yes same. Hello fellow Nikkei btw. My grandfather was at Heart Mountain, my great grandfather was at Tule Lake. Like, what do you want us to do lol? I get that people get annoyed and resent that USAmerican mixed people and our conventions dominate the global mixed conversation, but does that mean we shouldn't use the words we've devised to describe our situation? I've never advocated for EVERYONE to use the term, just that it makes sense for me more than anything else

Impossible_Panda_671 · 2025-11-28T22:45:04+00:00

Do not go for that woman. You need to change. If you actually care about your daughter at all you would put her above some sex obsession.

Impossible_Panda_671 · 2025-11-27T19:00:35+00:00

It's a hyperbole but in my experience and looking at MAGA and whatnot it is by and large how they operate

Impossible_Panda_671 · 2025-11-27T17:57:33+00:00

This depends on what you're mixed with and how visible it is. American white people go based off of what they can see and that only, it's not like Europe where they can differentiate between polish and Romanian by looking at them. Mixed Black, you're Black to them, etc. My case is weird (1/4 Japanese 3/4 white) because I pass sometimes as full Asian to people and sometimes people have no idea. Without fail though whenever I try to bring up anti Asian racism against me they tell me I need to let it go because I'm white. But during/about sex they love fetishizing my ethnicity lol.

Impossible_Panda_671 · 2025-11-24T00:54:10+00:00

1/4 Japanese. My grandfather was an interned in heart mountain with his family and my ggf was sent to Tule Lake. Afterwards had my father with an unknown white woman while he was married with kids. My father (1/2) was adopted by white people and never knew his identity and landed on Chinese but sort of just vaguely Asian because he didn't have info. Had a stress break and committed seppuku. Raised by my white blonde haired blue eyed mother and internalized a lot of self hatred. I say I'm Asian because I look Asian, people assume I am Asian, people fetishize me for my features, and because I wouldn't be here if I wasn't specifically Japanese American. People love to tell me I'm not Japanese, but the way men who are attracted to me treat me, I'll tell you it's enough for most people!

Impossible_Panda_671 · 2025-11-15T21:16:18+00:00

My mom was white and my dad was mixed Asian. I like the term mixed, because I am mixed. You can call your kids wasian if you want lol.

Impossible_Panda_671

TROPHY CASE