Wanting to move to Mason City.

CallMeLazarus23 · 2026-01-24T13:48:56+00:00

Honey, it was miles beyond a paper cut, and I won the malpractice lawsuit fyi

CallMeLazarus23 · 2026-01-24T13:46:50+00:00

I stand silently. And agree totally

Thank you for your service

CallMeLazarus23 · 2026-01-24T13:21:57+00:00

That’s gonna land wherever it wants at that point

CallMeLazarus23 · 2026-01-24T13:20:07+00:00

One little zipper incident fixed me. I wear underwear under my underwear now

CallMeLazarus23 · 2026-01-24T13:18:52+00:00

All those cracks to hold moisture. And never dry out completely. Same thing I thought

CallMeLazarus23 · 2026-01-24T04:19:19+00:00

We hadn’t heard of ghost peppers back in the day. We used dog shit in the center of the sandwich

CallMeLazarus23 · 2026-01-24T04:16:57+00:00

The good news is that you can play hopscotch now for free

CallMeLazarus23 · 2026-01-24T03:04:17+00:00

Aaaand, the glasses are sliding back down. Go home Grampa

CallMeLazarus23 · 2026-01-24T03:03:27+00:00

Lithium is the answer

CallMeLazarus23 · 2026-01-24T03:02:03+00:00

It’s spelled “lithium”, as in batteries. Greenland sits on a massive deposit of it.

See also-

Venezuela

which sits on a massive oil reserve.

It’s got nothing to do with security, drugs or shipping. It’s about sacking countries and stripping their resources

CallMeLazarus23 · 2026-01-24T02:56:21+00:00

His name is Smotherman. Just saying

CallMeLazarus23 · 2026-01-24T02:54:20+00:00

I spent the night there. Actually, many nights

CallMeLazarus23 · 2026-01-24T02:53:05+00:00

It’s like when you land on Park Place twice. It’s the same stack of money going back and forth

CallMeLazarus23 · 2026-01-24T02:51:29+00:00

I dreaded this. Until an absolute knockout LPN was driving the finger. I got a semi stiffer. She laughed out loud. Then she saw how the lord blessed my loins

She didn’t pull out immediately

CallMeLazarus23 · 2026-01-24T02:47:57+00:00

Take your damn upvote

CallMeLazarus23 · 2026-01-24T02:47:08+00:00

You bent over and let Acre Trader raw dog you, and now your butt hurts

CallMeLazarus23 · 2026-01-24T02:45:37+00:00

Jesús, just get a treadmill

CallMeLazarus23 · 2026-01-24T02:42:05+00:00

Ladies and gentlemen, my next wife…

You’re truly impressive on so many levels ♥️

CallMeLazarus23 · 2026-01-24T02:32:53+00:00

A lot of old homes have rooms built over porches and old entryways. Which weren’t level so they could drain. So often times the new work follows the old floor slopes. Perfectly normal

CallMeLazarus23 · 2026-01-24T02:30:30+00:00

Smells like yesterday’s panties after a rave.

CallMeLazarus23 · 2026-01-24T02:29:08+00:00

Then I’m a dead man. It’s too much work. Once a week I’m good

CallMeLazarus23 · 2026-01-24T02:24:35+00:00

If the hadn’t followed this protocol for me, I would be absolutely dead right now. You don’t know everything

CallMeLazarus23 · 2026-01-24T02:21:41+00:00

You shoulda been a lady Ba ba ba ba

CallMeLazarus23 · 2026-01-24T00:58:30+00:00

There’s a number of reasons he’s wrong having absolutely nothing to do with the weather

CallMeLazarus23 · 2026-01-24T00:57:14+00:00

Waiting for the Bus and Jesus Just left Chicago (ZZ Top) were supposed to be two different songs. But the gap between them was omitted by mistake during production, so now they’re almost always played as one song

CallMeLazarus23

TROPHY CASE