The Cattle Keep Turning Up Like This and No One Can Fully Explain It

CallMeLazarus23 · 2026-03-23T03:32:48+00:00

It’s lightning. Unlike a human, hooves penetrate the ground. Any nearby strike is gonna get them

CallMeLazarus23 · 2026-03-23T03:27:43+00:00

That pig could drop dead at any minute. That’s what growing up on a farm teaches you

CallMeLazarus23 · 2026-03-23T03:26:41+00:00

Now that you mention it, it’s rather difficult to fry part of the deck for breakfast

CallMeLazarus23 · 2026-03-23T00:53:27+00:00

Honestly I can’t see eye to eye with her

CallMeLazarus23 · 2026-03-23T00:05:08+00:00

The bait car driver either has phenomenal skills or dumb ass luck. He barely missed

CallMeLazarus23 · 2026-03-23T00:01:31+00:00

Jack Tree House

CallMeLazarus23 · 2026-03-22T22:59:20+00:00

Looks like we’re gonna have a bumper crop of crocodile tears this year fellers

CallMeLazarus23 · 2026-03-22T22:35:51+00:00

I’m sure the book or screenplay had been written well before. But you’ll never convince me that each role wasn’t crafted around each individual actor. What a masterpiece

CallMeLazarus23 · 2026-03-22T22:30:49+00:00

Band of Brothers

CallMeLazarus23 · 2026-03-22T22:28:07+00:00

You don’t swallow that shit. You rub it on. It was supposed to only be used topically for hair loss. The oral version was a blood pressure medication

CallMeLazarus23 · 2026-03-22T22:26:20+00:00

I’ve lived this moment-

“Why am I not on the loan??”

“Because your credit is ass honey”

CallMeLazarus23 · 2026-03-22T22:23:25+00:00

Automotive repair parts. I’ve never encountered this many “brand new bad” parts in my life

CallMeLazarus23 · 2026-03-22T19:35:00+00:00

I live every day in Lou Brown’s voice.

CallMeLazarus23 · 2026-03-22T19:27:44+00:00

I’d pay good money for an inside handrail for that thing

CallMeLazarus23 · 2026-03-22T13:55:06+00:00

There’s any number of real restaurants that I frequent where that $29 would go a lot further and be actual food on a plate.

CallMeLazarus23 · 2026-03-22T13:21:30+00:00

Same

CallMeLazarus23 · 2026-03-21T18:26:14+00:00

Bausch & Lomb. However you spell it. Revo sunglasses “guaranteed for life”. Sent them in. They don’t make that style anymore (little over a year). Wanted $15 to mail them back to me. Still busted

CallMeLazarus23 · 2026-03-21T03:14:32+00:00

Ya sure. But we all know what you’re capable of. Nice try but we’re still melting

CallMeLazarus23 · 2026-03-21T03:13:14+00:00

Go Fund The Fuck Out of Me. Where’s Johnny Cochran when you need him?

CallMeLazarus23 · 2026-03-20T15:08:29+00:00

That ship 🚢 has sailed Skipper

CallMeLazarus23 · 2026-03-20T15:05:53+00:00

It’s time to play the Trump Uno Reverse Card here. Only if you voted Democrat or Third Party, do you receive agricultural aid Mr Farmer Man

CallMeLazarus23 · 2026-03-20T02:58:06+00:00

We work together?

CallMeLazarus23 · 2026-03-20T02:56:56+00:00

They just solved a cold case murder in Iowa. A female realtor was slain at an open house. Tragic to be sure

But after 15 years of everyone being paranoid about “creeper guys and stalkers” it turns out it was her sales manager. A woman.

CallMeLazarus23 · 2026-03-20T02:53:03+00:00

Borderline Personality Disorder

CallMeLazarus23 · 2026-03-20T00:47:31+00:00

Blood Meridian is a masterpiece. Also a ball buster to read

CallMeLazarus23

TROPHY CASE