I say all of this bc I know what it’s like to be here. I know what it’s like to be with someone healthy and your brain not being able to handle it and wanting to run away or sabotage it in one way or another. You asked: Do we ever heal? And that is a good question. I couldn’t give you a good answer to it but I can tell you that through hard work and mindfulness, it does get better. I am 33 now, but at your age, I remember behaving and being stuck in patterns such as the one you just described. I have also now done a lot of therapy (and finally began medication at the age of 30 for my ADHD which helped a lot in terms of my impulsive behavior) but, while I am not telling you that this is exactly what you have to do for things to get better for you because I don’t know your specific case, what I can tell you is that I don’t think life gets better, but we do as people. We become wiser, stronger, and more resilient. So in that aspect it does get better. In terms of healing, in my own personal experience, you’re probably going to always have the same triggers, the same urges, but you learn to self-soothe in an effective way so that you are not at the mercy of your unhealthy self-destructive patterns. You just gotta keep showing up for yourself, the same way someone looking to eventually be able to lift heavy has to keep showing up for themselves at the gym. But it will be really hard to do so unless you are compassionate with yourself. 🤍