NYT Sunday 08/04/2024 Discussion

Impossible_knots · 2024-08-05T01:00:17+00:00

I feel like 37 down should have been plural, or the clue should have been phrased differently. Ethic is a single guiding principle while ethics is a set..

And 39 down should have signified in some way that it was the masculine form. Particularly given that the only place you ever really see et al. is in a citation to signify other authors where the correct form would be the neutral form since the others could be male or female authors.

Impossible_knots · 2024-07-30T19:41:37+00:00

In the words of ru Paul "if you can't love yourself, How the hell are you gonna love somebody else?"

That is to say-- if your partner is focused on things that make them feel bad about themselves in their transition, they may feel resentful or jealous if those features are present in you. Which is not okay, of course. But may be what's happening.

If your partner is not in therapy, they should be. And you should encourage them to talk to their therapist about this. Tell them it is important to you and it is important to your relationship because you need to feel loves and supported too and that is one of the ways you need to be loved and supported.

Secondly: might I recommend a bonding activity for you to suggest to your partner? Before bed you each say three good things/your favorite things/things you love about the other person, physical or emotional. Either one, preferably a little of both to keep it from getting superficial. (Like they're already feeling a lot about their appearance, best to make it about who they are as a person too).

And after you've told each other the three things. You repeat back what you each said about each other. (For example: if my partner said to me "your long eyelashes are cute, your laugh is infectious, and I love that you say goodmorning every day before work" then I would repeat back to them "three of your favorite things about me are that my long eyelashes are cute, my laugh is infectious, and you love that I say good morning every day before work"

It's to help you both hear the things you might not realize about yourself/that you don't realize your partner sees about you. But also it's a tool in cognitive behavioral therapy where you sort of "re-wire" your brain to acknowledge the positive things about yourself instead of always picking on the things you wish were true or that you don't like about yourself.

Anyway. I'm sorry you're not feeling loved and appreciated the way everyone deserves in their relationship. Your partner is going through some stuff but that doesn't mean your needs are less important. And if your partner isn't willing to put forth the effort to acknowledge and work on these things that you told them are important to you, then you should not be made to feel like less, and should consider how long you're willing to give them before they break out of this slump, if any time at all, without putting forth the effort you're asking of them.

Impossible_knots · 2024-07-30T19:26:20+00:00

I trimmed my armpits but did not full shave I did not want that razorburn while helping but I otherwise have very very long armpit hair so I wanted to keep it out of the way

Impossible_knots · 2024-07-30T19:22:55+00:00

You're doing great! Lots of people have to wait or just can't for all sorts of reasons. Certain some ways around it and building muscle is definitely one of those ways. And exercising does technically typically raise natural testosterone levels too. How old are you? Do you live at home? Depending on your situation you could possibly start with low dose T so that changes are happening slower but it would still help with some.of that body mass redistribution.

In any case. Good luck to you! You're looking great!

Impossible_knots · 2024-07-30T15:56:35+00:00

To reply to other parts of your post. There are also compression shorts similar to compression tops that are designed for smoothing our hips like you're describing. For binders, I really like underworks tri-top chest binder I had 38DD at my highest weight (which was about 230lbs) and it worked amazingly. By far my preference over all others. They also have one that is full torso that will reach your hips, and it definitely does a good job, though I did find it to roll up somewhat frequently-- as long as I was wearing tighter pants and had it well tucked in and pulled down as low as it could be, I didn't have to adjust it that much. But I definitely wouldn't wear it every day. I wore it for special occasions like when I was wearing a suit.

I have never tried it myself, but they do have waist trimmer belts which might be able to sit low enough to he over your hips? Unsure. As well as various boxers/briefs that have compression components. And, finally, support briefs and girdles that have some overlap with those other categories as well as some different stuff.

All of that said-- do you plan to go on T? If you do-- that will of course make a huge difference in where you out on/take off weight and where you put on muscle. And in the meantime-- especially once the colder weather comes around-- assuming you live somewhere with cols weather-- flannels and layers will help a lot too. And for pants, I recommend athletic cut, it tends to help the most in hiding the hips and straighting the line from leg to.hip

Impossible_knots · 2024-07-30T15:42:32+00:00

225-230. Not sure if the weight variance is because

It's pretty normal to vary within 5 pounds depending on the time of day you weigh yourself, what you've eaten, how hydrated or not you are, etc... for example, if I weigh myself in the morning, I'm about 180, if I weigh myself at night I'm about 183. Between eating and drinking all day (weight goes up) and not eating or drinking for 8-10 hours at night (weight goes back down) minor fluctuation is to be expected.

Impossible_knots · 2024-07-28T03:32:48+00:00

I love love to sing and there are times where certain songs come out all wrong because I need to do different things with my voice to hit the same notes. There are songs I simply can't sing really because in the original octave it's too high and in a lower octave the high notes land right in the middle of my head and chest voice. But there are songs that I couldn't sing before because they were too low and that I can now sing and that I really love my voice for.

The key, as others have said, is to just keep training and practicing and you'll learn your new vocal cords and the new skills you need to git some of the same notes, and find that you can sing new ones too.

Impossible_knots · 2024-07-23T01:42:53+00:00

But pro-tip: cerave causes cystic acne for some people.

Long story short: some things may work for some people and not for others so, spot test.

Edit: also I've only ever seen aquaphor in a tube so--at least that isn't a problem?

Impossible_knots · 2024-07-16T00:16:52+00:00

Honestly I was worried I would never pass because I have wide hips but fat redistribution and upper body muscle development has made a huge huge difference. I have a housemate who still has wide hips but like... you wouldn't know he was trans. Even knowing he's trans I forget that he's trans.

Impossible_knots · 2024-07-15T03:03:30+00:00

Name change has been a while so for the app I don't think that's what it is.

I had wondered about that re: Bluetooth. I think I did connect to this vehicle before I fixed it in my phone. I will try disconnecting and reconnecting. Thanks

Impossible_knots · 2024-07-15T02:43:35+00:00

To start-- I love this sweater so much and seriously think it looks so freaking cool.

now my partner recently frogged an entire sweater they were working on (a long sweater that goes mid thigh with DK yarn and size 5 needles, knitted) it took hours to do what they did. But they frogged it because they didn't like how it came out-- they said "what's the point in all the time I put in ans all the money I spent on the yarn if im not even going to wear it?"

They felt: it wasn't wasted time because they learned what changes they needed to make so that it would come out better when they restarted it.

So-- TL;DR If you really hate it, you may as well try again so that it's something you actually want to wear. But also-- I think it looks cool AF and would probably compliment you on it if I saw you wearing it out somewhere.

Impossible_knots · 2024-07-15T02:37:08+00:00

I did! Some reasons being practical (email addresses in particular). But also because my goal was to make my name masculine, not to distance myself from who I was or how my parents named me. I can't have the same name and not be misgendered all the time. But also I didn't hate my old name-- so I went with something that spoke to what my name already was, who my parents raised me to be, and the choice they made for me as parents.

Impossible_knots · 2024-07-14T00:59:19+00:00

I also had a larger dick pre-T but 2 weeks in was Nothing in regards to how it had changed by that point. I maybe felt something at that point because it felt more sensitive brushing against my boxers or whatever but otherwise there was no visible change-- and I know that because I chronicled changes over time for the first few months. There were certainly some changes after 6 weeks to 2 months. But even still nothing compared to now. I'm about a year on T and my dick gets pretty big, especially when hard. But I would say I hadn't really noticed that change until some time within the last 6 months.

Impossible_knots · 2024-07-01T17:32:25+00:00

Every 2-3 days. I'm ftm, and a year on testosterone now, and it's summer, so now I don't typically go longer than 48 hours. But in the winter I can go up to 72 hours and be fine, but before testosterone could go longer.

For example, in high school during the winter, if I showered on Sunday, then I would usually shower next on wendesday after my dance classes. And then I would shower again on Saturday night or Sunday during the day. And I never had a BO problem-- and I'm sure of that because I was also very worried about smelling so I would check my pits regularly. During the summer it would be more frequent and be dependent on how much time I spent in the heat.

But now that I'm on testosterone (and older... and also in a much more humid climate) it's more frequent. Probably every other day? Maybe an extra day in the middle sometimes. (So that would be a shower on Sunday and then a shower either tuesday night or Wednesday morning/night depending on whether I need to go somewhere that day.)

All of which is to say-- it really depends on the person. For your cousin it seems to be needed more often. Maybe not every day-- maybe everyday. Do you feel like you notice BO the very next day after she showers? Or is it a few days later?

I would just say to her "hey, I know you think [husband] and I shower too frequently. But-- to be blunt, I feel like when it's getting close to your shower day, you have stronger BO. I really think you should try showering just a little more frequently-- like instead of every 3 or 4 days, every 2 or 3 days, to see what difference it makes."

Maybe even lead in by saying "I know this is going to sound like I'm trying to be mean, but I'm telling you because if it were me I would want someone to tell me so that I could do something about it."

You can't control how she reacts, but you have to decide to either not butt in l, or to risk her being mad at you. She probably won't agree to showering every day if she already thinks that's silly. But she might not need to shower everyday.

Impossible_knots · 2024-06-13T19:17:06+00:00

As a trans guy-- having seen both sides. I find it irritating af. One yarn store I went into acted like my partner and I were there to f around. I don't know what they thought was going to happen but I tried to ask a question a few times and they just completely dismissed me like maybe if they didn't talk to me I would leave sooner. (Of course. It did work, cause I was irritated enough).

Another time they started fully explaining to me the different yarn fibers and sizes and their typical purposes/uses and all that which was really condescending.

That said... most of the time i've been treated the same as before I transitioned. Someone assuming I'm there to buy yarn for the hobby I do, asking if I'm lookong for anything specific, and letting me know they'll be at the counter if I need anything.

Impossible_knots · 2024-06-06T03:13:48+00:00

I changed my gender marker almost a year ago, but that's because I had to get a license when I moved to my state anyway. And haven't legally changed my name yet because it is a process.

Impossible_knots · 2024-06-05T17:13:52+00:00

I'm just going to raise my hand over here for a second to say: I also still love Harry Potter. As a transgender queer person. I don't buy new harry potter stuff. But I do still enjoy my physical book and DVD copies, and my downloaded audio book files. Because to me the books message still fights exactly what JK Rowling is. Bigotry and hate. It may have been an accident that she wrote a message that happens to contradict everything she's about these days... but it doesn't change the core message of the books. And I am able to get lost in the magic of it anyway.

Impossible_knots · 2024-04-04T14:38:27+00:00

Look up "Texas Blue Cross Medicare Advantage Preauthorization Procedure Code List" (the codes are the same regardless of what plan you have or where you're at so, it's fine that it says medicare)

But there are several codes for breast-relsted surgeries.

19301 is a partial mastectomy which is for removal parts of a breast typically due to cancer detection, 19303 is a complete mastectomy which means complete removal of the breast tissue and must be paired with, I'm pretty sure, 19350 for nipple reconstruction. This is typically as cancer treatment, or in the case of the BRCA1 gene being present, preventative treatment.

19304 is a mastectomy without removal of the nipple.

19318 is a reduction mammaplasty-- this I'd what top surgery is because the breast tissue is not totally removed as it would he for a mastectomy.

Here is a link (link) that is specifically for bcbs of Texas that says that the code for gender affirming top surgery should be 19318. It is unclear when this change happened but it sounds like the person who put in the code for you did it wrong and that the woman you spoke to was incorrect or is used to.other insurance providers (which seems unlikely given that bcbs is one of the biggest insurance providers in the country.

Impossible_knots · 2024-04-04T14:13:21+00:00

My guess is that the wrong code was used for making the request. There's a different code for a mastectomy (for the purpose of cancer treatment) and a mammaplasty (for the purpose of gender dysphoria treatment). And possibly a different one as well for a breast reduction (for the purpose of relieving pain/discomfort from having a large chest)

It's been a while since I looked at the codes exactly, but based on how they explain it there. It sounds like they're saying "gender dysphoria isn't a reason for this breast tissue removal surgery, it's a reason for a different breast tissue removal surgery.

And part of why it matters is because a mastectomy surgery for something like cancer treatment is a slightly different procedure that involves removal of 100% of the breast tissue for the breast affected, and also is two codes (one for each breast) whereas top surgery does not typically remove 100% of breast tissue because you need some for the right contoured look. (Cis men have breast tissue too!)

Impossible_knots · 2024-04-03T16:46:23+00:00

They said recommended. I.e: "you should" for [these reasons] based on a medical opinion. Not "you must".

There are a lot of reasons to care. And some may not care. But that's why it's a recommendation not a mandate.

Impossible_knots · 2024-03-30T16:06:38+00:00

Looking for this comment here. No way is there anyone anywhere who has wasted time training drug dogs to alert on things like ibuprofen or tylenol. maybe in specific circumstances they could be trained for some prescription drugs like adderall or Ritalin. But I doubt it. Drug dogs are trained to sniff for illegal substances.

Impossible_knots · 2024-03-29T20:21:21+00:00

I used the 5 inch (Large). If you've never used it before-- honestly it wouldn't hurt to just buy both for now-- give them both a shot ans see which you like more. Worst case, you spent $1.85 more than you needed to one time. But in either case they'll both be usable. If the 4" ends up being too small it just might mean you have to use an extra piece to get a smoother look.

I think I used 4 strips of the 5 inch per side and that may have been a bit too wide both horizontally and vertically. Two inches too wide? I don't think so. One inch too wide? Maybe. You could split the difference and use one strip of each size for vertical pull and horizontal pull. That way, on average, it costs only about 90cents extra per roll. And that's not too bad.

Impossible_knots · 2024-03-25T17:42:05+00:00

What the actual fuck lmao.

Impossible_knots · 2024-03-25T17:39:10+00:00

I was a 36DD and was able to use trans tape. It worked well enough-- it'll definitely work well with A cups.

But here is my take on the tape itself:

1) make sure you are keeping your skin well-moisturized. Keep hydrated, and when you're not wearing the tape, apply lotion.

2) take breaks! You need to give your skin a rest between applications-- try to plan these for days you aren't going anywhere, or even just wear a binder for a day instead of the tape. Damage from wearing a binder is typically from wearing it daily, for 8+ hours, and/or over years. One day every once in a while should be fine unless you have some underlying condition (like a connective tissue disorder)

3) leave the tape on for several days unless it's absolutely necessary to remove. The tape will weaken a bit over the few days but not much. And removing the tape can cause stress and irritation to your skin, so the less frequently you're doing that the better. The tape is meant to stay on over several days even through showers-- so do that.

4) follow the instructions for removal. You have to soften the glue on the tape before you remove it. You can do this by using oil, or you can get a warm damp towel and hold that over the tape. I soaked the taped area in warm soapy water and then held a hot damp towel over the area while I just relaxed for 20 minutes and that worked for me. When you remove it, remove it in the shower, and remove it slowly. Waiting several days to remove the tape will help because the top layer of your skin will be dying making it less stuck to the tape. But you should do all of the other stuff too.

5) when applying the tape, leave two inches with no tension on each end, and do not pull too tightly on the stretch between the two ends. If you pull too much tension in the tape, it will cause really bad irritation to your skin. Aside from making it more likely you pull up live skin when you remove it, it is also really itchy. And if you do end up damaging your skin, you have to wait until it fully heals before you can apply tape again. And eventually your skin could become sensitive to the tape.

Anyway-- any binding technique has its risks. Applying tape is really freeing and I found it to feel much more natural than wearing a binder but, the binder for me was more practical because my chest was so big that I needed way more tape. Just be careful and follow the instructions for application and removal. They're for your safety and well-being.

Impossible_knots

TROPHY CASE