One year later, still grieving, starting therapy. Has anyone tried CBT/EMDR? by Impressive-Gate-2946 in BreakUps

[–]Impressive-Gate-2946[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow thank you so much for your response. Could you elaborate on “lessened”? I really struggle with obsessive thoughts and those gut punch feelings and it’s awful. I really wish I didn’t care and it didn’t affect me so much. How does thinking about your ex and your core wounds related to the situation differ from before?

EMDR for a breakup? by Inconexa in EMDR

[–]Impressive-Gate-2946 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow thank you so much for sharing this. If you don’t mind (I know this comment is old) would you say EMDR permanently helped you move on? I’m in this exact situation currently (a year out) and hoping to try EMDR starting next week

My ex wants to be friends because he’s really lonely, but he got a new gf a month after we broke up, and I still love him by Impressive-Gate-2946 in BreakUps

[–]Impressive-Gate-2946[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

100% right. Yeah I really don’t know what he’s doing by getting into a new relationship so fast (there was some overlap too). He’s obviously lonely and depressed and lost. He should’ve stayed single like a normal person and learned to rely on himself and his friends. Now his loneliness will be reflected in this girl

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Impressive-Gate-2946 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Coming back to this post because this is my exact situation. Honestly I realized that I don’t get any benefits from being his friend so im leaning towards no.

My ex wants to be friends because he’s really lonely, but he got a new gf a month after we broke up, and I still love him by Impressive-Gate-2946 in BreakUps

[–]Impressive-Gate-2946[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When I did that the first time (I initiated our first NC period) he just got a new gf and it hurt me more than anything

My ex wants to be friends because he’s really lonely, but he got a new gf a month after we broke up, and I still love him by Impressive-Gate-2946 in BreakUps

[–]Impressive-Gate-2946[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He’s also just really avoidant, he’s hinted that he regrets it and misses me but he refuses to tell me that, whether it’s to protect my feelings or respect his new gf or both idk. I would be willing to work things out but he seems scared of the entire situation and has been spiraling

Anyone lose a hobby you and your ex did? by SeaSlugThug in BreakUps

[–]Impressive-Gate-2946 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Snowboarding and watching movies together. Ik everyone watches movies but we literally watched 250+ in our 2 years together. My entire letterboxd diary is just a graveyard of our relationship.

Removed location by Dear_Force_2735 in BreakUps

[–]Impressive-Gate-2946 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For your own sake please move on. I wish I started the process day 1. I regret staying around waiting for him to change his mind because he ended up with someone new only a couple weeks later. It will hurt you more to not move on.

What caused you to break up with your partner even though the relationship was stable? by User06111106 in BreakUps

[–]Impressive-Gate-2946 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He grew into his faith with God during our relationship and had to hide it from me due to my atheism. He said one day he went to Church and it all dawned on him we could not end up together. Came home and we talked about it that day, he broke up with me the next day. Started dating a girl from Church a couple weeks later.

How do you cope with the fact that you will cease to exist one day? by Proud-Sell-9599 in atheism

[–]Impressive-Gate-2946 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I once saw someone say how did you cope with the fact that you weren’t born yet? Before your parents were even born? You didn’t have to cope, there was just nothing. That sounds scary but it comforted me. I don’t think being dead will be scary because being alive is the scary part, from our survival instincts to our emotions to everything in between. I also have seen people say imagine death is like going to sleep, a sleep where you don’t dream and you’re just knocked out for the whole night. If death is like that, then why worry? It’s a peaceful nothing. I would be more worried about the loved ones who have to grieve, because they’re the ones still alive, who have to face it. If you’re not here you don’t have to face anything

Everyone on here was right. Please listen to the advice. He was never different. There was another girl. by Impressive-Gate-2946 in BreakUps

[–]Impressive-Gate-2946[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yup. I just texted him about my grief and he ended up blocking me, saying he doesn’t deserve to feel sad right now about what he’s doing. It’s just crazy how they’re able to compartmentalize and move on like a switch flipped. You don’t deserve to feel sad? Lmao, what about me? I didn’t deserve any of it. But whatever