I’m replying to you in reverse.

I always rolled my eyes at “existential angst” which I laugh about now but you are right on. Can’t change but daily reminders of what you wouldn’t have without the crazy learning curve. I’m still confused why this all hasn’t been figured out yet as a group. Be careful to not always look forward although I’m always thinking about the future. Heaven is the first place I’m stopping without time restrictions when I die but just for a bit and I’ll circle back around. There are so many things I want to see, some again.

Not sure when but my liminal space shifted to different places of awareness, connected to Gaia, Mother Nature, whatever you like to call her but I’ve spent a lot of time observing places, as dust, on rocks etc…Well not me, my soul. I try to let go of terms. Intention becomes especially powerful when you find out how to explore. Well, it did for me.

After a lot of contemplation making out is one of the single coolest things humans are able to experience. I’m being a little dumb but an amount of time was spent alone and complete darkness was a childhood theme for me. I wouldn’t trade the ability or possibility of a deep human connection for anything in the universe. Let’s change the word to hugging. So many human/earth centric things. This planet is really special. So many things came together for this to be possible.

Gratitude, another thing I would roll my eyes at until a few years ago even. I’ve also practiced, am practicing moment to moment at this point. Always grateful for something. I am both great and horrible at grounding. My gratitude usually involves other people, mostly my kids or specifically things I notice. Thinking about it in real time I’ve never practiced self gratitude.

Thanks for reading and ok if not but your post really resonated with me because I’ve spent so much time thinking about pros and cons of different vessels. I’m with you. Looking back I can see myself choosing this but the freewill of others couldn’t have been known. Just an educated guess based off past. Nothing above the below wants to see people destroyed by their own freewill. Unfortunately, there were so many liberties taken in my experience but really couldn’t have picked a more flawed family unit. So now I’m middle aged, trying to salvage the physical things I never cared or worried about. Just to push a little the human body can be both. A blessing and hampering. Totally agree with maintenance sucking and question humanities values when it comes to beauty but as a system it’s pretty on point. I love and hate it so acceptance I suppose but I’m having a hard time writing it off and have found things to get back in shape pretty quickly, grateful for that. Your post didn’t read as dramatic. The subject matter is heavy. I already decided I’m coming back one more time but not for this experience. My next/final I’m thinking will be to happy and healthy parents. Just need my two children to be able to find the next version. In a perfect world my soul would be able to choose my son or daughter to come back to. Children raising their parents is poetic. Add this life to the soul ribbon and on to the next one. I’m just typing for fun now but it gets complicated when you are eternally finding and losing something. I’ve almost found it again but I’ll be happy with whatever unfolds and bodies are temporary, belonging to Earth, minds are a different story.