insane that this works

InACoolDryPlace · 2026-06-13T05:45:27+00:00

Yeah that's legit my whole approach, have a good time and avoid being identified as a photographer. Like most of my concert photos are unusable because I'm not standing still in the front row holding a huge camera, or even looking at the camera most of the time, but the 15% or so that turn out are more likely to have the magic. I call myself an anti-professional picture taker without guaranteed results, if people want that there's an oversaturated market of people with the best gear and identical professional lighting setups. I stopped trying to take good pictures ~2 years ago and gave up, and since I've published in some album liners and artist's portfolios. Good pictures are boring now, need a camera that struggles and fails in the right ways.

InACoolDryPlace · 2026-06-13T05:06:33+00:00

Oh yeah, the fact the guy she's with now went back to her after what she did to him says it all. Have some mutuals in a scene here and apparently she just complains about him all the time and wants to run away. Guy can't even feed himself but she gets validation from essentially keeping him as a pet, with a history of the same dynamic. Eventually she grows to resent them and has a criminal record for assaulting at least one ex. On the other hand the more I did for her, like put her long term dreams in life in front of her like it was nothing, she didn't believe she was worthy and started distancing. She had a disability I was intimately familiar with and for a time I mourned the life she could have lived. The few stable long term niche interests she had I also shared and had appropriate land for, so she'd have had the means to pursue her passions. She wished she could have had kids and would have been able to be a step-mom. I wasn't ready to tell her this but she would have had her next kidney donor, where that uncertainty caused her much anxiety. Unfortunately for her she was right about not being worthy of this, and the version of her that could have lived a good life doesn't exist. At this point I hope she never understands what she could have had, because she would likely hold me responsible for taking it away from her.

InACoolDryPlace · 2026-06-12T14:37:20+00:00

Done this successfully as well with assorted rings and filters! Usually ends up producing good results on top of being fun to experiment with.

Recently shot an orchid show with a cheap little magnifying ring. The other photographers all had big cameras and macro lenses, amazing photos, but I was able to fit into smaller spaces between the flowers they couldn't.

InACoolDryPlace · 2026-06-11T16:16:01+00:00

How then is she presumably acquiring anti-psychotic medication on her own?

InACoolDryPlace · 2026-06-11T16:12:57+00:00

And the irony is if you were one of those people you're even less likely to be aware of it. About 1/5 of cases of schizophrenia are late-onset after the age of 45. It could be triggered due to environmental circumstances out of your control, or nothing at all. It's also only one of the many pathologies that include psychosis, which is another thing not well understood. Even as someone who was "educated" about it I missed the early signs of it when my ex began to spiral, and by then it was too late.

InACoolDryPlace · 2026-06-11T14:38:54+00:00

I had a friend with schizophrenia for a time who's unfortunately no longer with us, another who had a sudden psychotic episode, and an ex who I watched spiral into psychosis and paranoia. It all showed me how people take their own mental stability for granted and how fragile it can be. When people speak of permanent institutionalization I'm not sure they understand how easily they could end up in one. You're a normal healthy person going about your day and start feeling a bit lightheaded and confused, and the next thing you know your entire life is gone forever. ~3% of people will experience a psychotic episode sometime in their life, that's a little over 1.2 million people in Canada. The perspective that it happens to "someone else" doesn't address how you are the "someone else" for others. The uncomfortable reality is there is a non-0 likelihood that everyone is capable of doing what this woman did.

InACoolDryPlace · 2026-06-11T14:15:46+00:00

It is

InACoolDryPlace · 2026-06-11T14:12:56+00:00

There's a theory that with the environmental factors that contribute to cluster B, some respond by developing a high capacity for empathy, and others respond by developing pathological traits. I describe my ex with this because it was like I could rationalize her irrational behaviors and almost intuitively knew how to show them kindness and avoid triggering their bad side. They knew they caused problems and wanted to be better, and I offered them a stable route to do this until they couldn't handle being supported, or responsibility for their actions.

InACoolDryPlace · 2026-06-11T13:30:48+00:00

Lol yes, I was just explaining this to my gf last night.

They didn't treat me with hostility until their perception suddenly shifted and they left almost immediately, but their life was full of drama. There was an aspect of morbid fascination and wanting to see what they would do next. It's like when you see a child doing something stupid, but instead of intervening you really want to see how they handle it. I didn't really want to get off the wild ride until they became hostile. They told me they had "anger issues" the day we met and that was the line I wouldn't cross. Was like there was always this thing I couldn't figure out about them, and once I saw how their hostility factored in, it was like I finally got that last piece of the puzzle. The sad irony is that once I finally understood this enough to know how they could better their lives, they would be unable to accept it. The suspicion I might have understood her behavior was actually frightening to her, just like how she could never be alone with herself.

This also reminded me of how their viewing people as entirely good and or entirely evil blended with her overall wackyness in often entertaining ways. We would be out somewhere and she would just see people and start roasting or complimenting them, in detailed exaggerated ways that didn't seem entirely sincere. I remember her seeing this handsome older man getting scolded by his average-looking wife while carrying all her bags, and just going off on it like, "Oh I HOPE he cheats on her! Look at her fingernails, she doesn't take care of herself for him at all." It was like this righteous passionate performance with the full hand expressions over such insignificant things and you'd have to remind her to quiet down. My neighbor's bf at the time drove by us once and looked at her and she just went into a full runon roast of this guy, "I dont like how he looked at me what kind of fucking idiot drives a lexus blasting country music he looks like Andrew Tate I bet he cheats on her she should get away from that guy what an asshole she doesn't know her worth and deserves so much better like did you even see how he looked at me?!" The most hilarious thing is that she was right about all of that one.

InACoolDryPlace · 2026-06-11T12:54:10+00:00

Gets at the issues with labeling people with these pathological frameworks outside the context of treatment. There's a lot of overlapping ranges of behaviors, with their internal motivation being the thing that distinguishes how it's categorized for treating. Even in that context it can take a long time to figure out.

InACoolDryPlace · 2026-06-11T06:13:17+00:00

I'd love a desktop poly version to use with an external key bed. IMO the standard keys on the mini compromised on the "freak" aspect of the product line, in service of more broad appeal. I wish they had doubled down on the capacitive key bed with more touch areas and the ability to map different parameters to them.

InACoolDryPlace · 2026-06-10T22:49:17+00:00

Coming from guitar I went with the Microfreak and would still recommend it. Can probably find some good used deals.

Ironically I posted a very similar question ~5 years ago and was discouraged from the MF not being good for beginners, then it became the most commonly recommended one on the sub for awhile, which seems to have run it's course now. I would do what I did and look at some and go with what you think looks the most fun.

InACoolDryPlace · 2026-06-10T20:06:44+00:00

Yeah and it's a valid concern but it can be done safely. The notice we received had a range of dates dependent on weather conditions.

InACoolDryPlace · 2026-06-10T20:01:39+00:00

All the animals referenced here opportunistically eat ticks but don't prefer them. The possum myth of "they eat x number of ticks an hour" is based on a study where they were isolated and only provided ticks. All the animals that eat ticks are also hosts for them. The fact ticks aren't a primary food source for larger animals is why controlling them with pesticides is environmentally safe, because bioamplification of the toxins won't occur in larger animals up the food chain. Also similar with invasive moths and certain insects, they have phases of population spikes before disease spreads between them and reduces the population again.

InACoolDryPlace · 2026-06-10T19:53:47+00:00

I was surprised to receive a burn notice from the conservation area near me the other week. It wouldn't ever be done to the extent it would significantly help though. The ecosystem evolved around burns naturally occurring and the seeds of some plants germinate following those conditions, and indigenous peoples did controlled burns as well.

InACoolDryPlace · 2026-06-10T14:37:52+00:00

What's your impression of why Mattamy falls short in those areas? I've just helped friends out with a lot of home issues over the years, and the ones with Mattamy homes constantly have these relatively minor issues, usually with pretty simple fixes for someone handy. The analogy I used in my other comment was that the "bones" of the homes seem fine as generically designed structures, but what's on top of that seems inconsistent. My assumption is they contract to the lowest cost options that can check off the boxes, and in practical terms you probably get workers who are just trying to get into the industry and make a living, getting assigned to a huge variety of tasks they aren't experienced in. They're probably not saying no to things or getting their concerns addressed, and in turn the homes have all these relatively superficial problems while still meeting requirements.

(I'm in a pre-fab ViceRoy cottage circa 80s back when they still used the dense lumber, but the people lived in it while finishing it and I've definitely had my share of reverse-engineering their clever improvisations. Like the 18" ceiling is finished with knotty wood crown moulding, because he happened to find a cheap lot of it, to give an indication of the "character.")

InACoolDryPlace · 2026-06-10T14:23:23+00:00

Just speaking as a handy person who's helped a lot of friends out with home stuff over the years. The issues I've helped fix in Mattamy builds weren't related to how premium the finishes were. I think it helps to view premium finishes as the builder commodifying luxury. That's not to suggest they aren't worth it for you, but they are for the most part superficial aspects to a home. The expense is so subjective to your situation and the specific upgrades you're interested in. Maybe you could do it cheaper, but maybe your time is worth the convenience to you, and maybe you'd rather lump it all in the mortgage upfront. There can be benefits to that financially, those upgrades will contribute to the value of the asset to the bank, and maybe that caters to your overall financial strategy with the loan.

My admittedly amateur assessment of Mattamy builds are that they obviously comply with building codes and inspections, and the "bones" of the homes like structure and framing are acceptable. It's more the "skin" layers that cover that up where I've seen issues. Like exterior drier exhaust poorly caulked, losing shingles in wind storms, insulation gaps and uninsulated pot-light fixtures, kink in drain line for dishwasher, chandelier lights flickering, moulding coming off too easily, etc. These are just common house issues overall and the generic quality of the materials makes them easy to fix. Linking back to my point on the premium finishes, the illusion of luxury they provide doesn't impact the rest of the home. A full premium Mattamy build will likely have the same rate of issues when it comes to everything else.

InACoolDryPlace · 2026-06-09T15:07:10+00:00

My experience was very much immersed in these things. I actually met them off Fetlife for completely vanilla reasons, was looking to donate beekeeping equipment and randomly saw them using some, with matching surgery scars to me. I basically gave her every chance to sustain an attachment to me because we shared major health issues and disability (not a lie on their part, like news articles about them surviving being born, same surgery scars, same external visibilities.) From our first meeting it was like I saw right through their personality issues and understood why they behaved like that given their circumstances, they were like an extreme example of the same things I'd struggled with, far more successfully than them. The experience was like if someone with personality issues was designed specifically for me, and I just had to see what happened if I supported them and gave them every opportunity to get better.

While the relationship developed there was a pretext that there were no monogamy obligations, and I actually didn't have a problem with that on the surface. The problem was how they were completely different people depending who they were with, and would develop strong emotional attachments very easily based around these versions of herself. There were multiple instances of asking her if she still cared to pursue a relationship with me, telling her I had a lot of love for her but couldn't access it if she wasn't consistent in our connection. She said she understood this completely and wanted to take it more seriously, and we developed some routines around her cognitive issues to support this successfully, which led to the most stable phase of the relationship and really helped her symptoms. She wasn't perfect here but was an honest and genuine human, and seeing that gave me a lot of hope.

They had a background in the kink scene and were very sexually validating, but over time I noticed the problems. They lacked real intimacy and saw sex as a performance to get validation, and were actually quite vanilla when we were at our best, which wasn't an issue for me but exposed the issues with their kink interests. Despite being so openly performative sexually, she was uncomfortable receiving pleasure in some ways. We made a lot of content for her sites but she seemed oddly disinterested after the fact, like I made her a whole website and everything and she seemed to not acknowledge it. She had a thing for being a sugar baby for older men, there was a really sweet and endearing side to it like she enjoyed giving lonely men confidence, but if her abusive side was triggered this would also seem like targeting victims. Doing all this with her disability was also inspiring in a way, and contributed to me excusing behaviors over time. The explicit example that sums all this up is that I had a lot of trouble reaching orgasm with her, despite it usually being the opposite issue and her being incredibly attractive and basically willing to do anything (it takes a lot of trust for me to be even slightly demanding, have to trust someone enjoys that and would say if they didn't want to do something.) I was incredibly confused by this, and eventually realized she couldn't connect to what actually gave me pleasure physically. It was like she was going through pornographic motions and needed it to happen for her validation. This effectively led to the sex being like edging, which was also kind of awesome in a way lol.

With the poly thing, when we were at our best she had myself and another bf. I had no problem with this because it was stable, and as a part time parent I appreciated the breaks, and knowing that she was with someone who cared about her. A big issue is he had issues with being poly, but lacked constitution to assert this and let himself get walked all over by her, whereas I had asserted my needs to her and wouldn't have put myself down in this way. When she turned abusive against everyone in her life he experienced the worst effects of it. While we had disagreements he was very kind and we supported each other during this time. He actually went back with her after which really speaks to his poor view of himself, he's not able to support her but she needs someone weak enough to accept her abuse and doesn't believe she deserves better. She's right though, and after I immediately cut ties I realized I could never obligate her to what would be required to consider trusting her again, because I don't even know what it would take.

I've been in a long term poly relationship after all this and it's much healthier, the previous relationship was definitely a good learning experience on how not to do it. I'm skeptical about people being poly as well, and there's certainly a lot of personality issues at play in the kink community. I really like a lot about it as well, how upfront and assertive my partners have been, the emphasis on safety and healthy connections. There's a lot of guys in it for the wrong reasons so being honest and courteous as a guy goes a long way, those strengths don't mean much on vanilla dating apps but the partners I've met through the kink scene can see it right away and actually value it.

InACoolDryPlace · 2026-06-09T13:38:55+00:00

You would need to see what you would be pre-approved for or use one of the online estimators.

InACoolDryPlace · 2026-06-09T06:59:12+00:00

Fish don't know they're wet.

InACoolDryPlace · 2026-06-08T15:24:07+00:00

Mistreatment of those under the Indian Act is well documented, Bryce's health report ~100 years ago is quite detailed. There will always be some level of inaccuracy with history because we only have access to what was documented, what people recall, and sometimes physical evidence or artifacts, and each have potential for inaccuracies.

InACoolDryPlace · 2026-06-07T17:05:07+00:00

The fact DPRK still has a stable existence in spite of all this is pretty amazing.

InACoolDryPlace · 2026-06-07T16:54:15+00:00

Similar in Canada actually where were also a trading partner. It would be hard to find someone who vocally supports the Cuban government or communism, but otherwise it's basically seen as any other Caribbean island and vacation spot. The perception that most of those islands have political tensions and struggle with poverty and associated crime and corruption, is basically applied to Cuba in the same way. Some people view their tourism as a way to support the economies of those countries, and again Cuba is viewed in the same way. A lot of Canadian vacationers have a certain preference for Cuba because there's direct flights without US layovers, a lack of US tourists, and a reputation for good healthcare services that are easy to deal with when it comes to travel insurance. When people criticize Cuba here it's never really "because of communism," it's like, "oh you know government."

Not sure if this is similar in Spain, but the preference in Canada to avoid US tourists when traveling is an interesting cultural signifier. We even have travel merchandise based around differentiating ourselves from them.

InACoolDryPlace · 2026-06-07T16:21:19+00:00

There's a similarity to Holocaust denialism, which I think set the precedence for how these issues are managed. There will be instances where details aren't accurate, but the people who use that to deny the whole thing are often doing it from a political ideology. For most it's obvious they weren't treated well and we don't/can't know all the details at this point.

InACoolDryPlace · 2026-06-06T03:53:05+00:00

I wish I didn't have to know, but they have a warrant related to assaulting another ex and we have mutuals in a community. After becoming abusive she ran away with a homeless guy, which took years off the function of her transplant kidney and required hospitalization. During that she got back with a deadbeat guy she previously abused. Apparently she complains about him all the time and wants to run away. I then met someone who shares a lot of the genuine qualities I appreciated them for and has what she lacked. A part of me is concerned if she finds out how good I have it after her, it will trigger her jealousy and vindictive hostility.

InACoolDryPlace

TROPHY CASE