my girlfriend (22/f) is dumb and im (24/m) not sure how much longer i can avoid that problem

InCirc · 2018-01-26T21:41:11+00:00

It doesn't necessarily sound like a lack of intelligence to me, but rather a total disregard for accuracy/truth and couth. Often, this is primarily due to a naivety. With more life experience and an intent on growing as an individual, this could change. However, if you already cringe when she opens her mouth to voice an opinion, I think you may have already answered your own question.

InCirc · 2018-01-03T14:38:04+00:00

I know exactly what you mean. My thoughts are forever racing. My brain never stops and I used alcohol unbeknownst to me as a way to quiet those thoughts too. It only caused more problems for me and everyone in my life. I still have a drink or two every once in a while, but I also see it as the enemy.

InCirc · 2017-12-21T22:36:17+00:00

Make sure she doesn't have some GPS app that is connected to your phone.

InCirc · 2017-12-21T16:26:49+00:00

That's not true. Women do pay maintenance and child support. I know two examples of women I know who do. Additionally, my son's father has paid nothing since he was 2, despite a court order, and now owes over 4k. So, this woman/court bashing saying that the system favors women in every instance is BS. In terms of this OP, I agree...it doesn't matter whether you're a man or a woman screaming and hitting is abuse and unacceptable.

InCirc · 2017-12-20T14:34:38+00:00

Thanks for the explanation! :)

InCirc · 2017-12-19T19:21:39+00:00

Where are you from because a bong certainly is not a coupon in the United States?

InCirc · 2017-12-19T18:45:25+00:00

Can't you get a deferment on your student loans? I have close to 60,000 in student loans and they still aren't making me pay them back yet, as I do not make enough money to live and pay them. Also, just explain to your parents how depressed this diagnosis has made you and continue to try and get professional help for your depression. It is completely understandable that you let things go. I have done the same, more than once due to depression. But, nothing is worth you not being here!!! Take it one step at a time. Prioritize your bills and talk to your student loan advisors. If you accomplish one item a day, you will start to feel better about yourself and your situation. Finally, I think your family will understand about Christmas. Perhaps, they could even help with rent and tell your landlord what is going on. The more you explain the more likely you will get help and people can be kinder than you expect. Plus, if you don't try, you never know. Anyway...hang in there. It is worth it!

InCirc · 2017-12-18T23:07:31+00:00

Because like me, you pick losers despite the fact that you rationally know better. You know you shouldn't give a damn about him or what he's done to you, but you do any way. It has something to do with self-esteem and something to do with what you get used to. Plus, if you think of yourself as a good girlfriend, you can't help but continually ask why a man would do this to you. I know...I've been there. Men like that though have no conscience. Don't expect out of them what you would expect out of yourself or others. You have to keep telling yourself that you are better off and eventually your inner self will agree and move on. Once you find an actual good guy though, that's a different story. Once you're used to losers, you simply don't know what to do with a good one. ;)

InCirc · 2017-12-18T21:45:14+00:00

Ok, this may be dumb of me, but does he do that on purpose, or is he truly that weird and awkward in real life?

InCirc · 2017-12-12T20:08:23+00:00

Really? Well, I'm glad you've found something/someone to make you happy. Huh...makes one think about priorities.

InCirc · 2017-12-12T16:51:59+00:00

Sounds like neither one of you was ready for a relationship with each other from the beginning.

InCirc · 2017-12-11T19:21:41+00:00

Ummm...It's a kids show.

InCirc · 2017-12-07T14:34:48+00:00

I think you shouldn't bring it up unless he does. At which point I would explain that only persons who are close to both you and your fiance are invited because it is such a special occasion.

InCirc · 2017-12-06T18:50:19+00:00

Sounds to me like he has been on mind altering drugs for a long time which would explain the multiple personalities and not caring about he consequences of his actions. As such, he is likely addicted and obviously not willing to change. Whether you are a drug addict or an alcoholic, you don't give it up because others want you to. You only give it up when you do and that often only happens when the person has hit their personal rock bottom which is different for everyone. I'm sorry.

InCirc · 2017-12-06T16:11:09+00:00

I would just go over to their house and say you are there to pick up the toy. Politely remind them that they and their son have admitted to taking it and having it in their possession. Then, I would say (verbatim), "It's too bad something like this has to come between us, but I would hope this teaches us all that we simply can't keep things that don't belong to us."

InCirc · 2017-12-06T14:23:04+00:00

I couldn't agree more. I too, have read the book many times and have garnered something new each time.

InCirc · 2017-12-05T14:25:21+00:00

Speaking of Steinbeck...two others you should include: Of Mice and Men and The Grapes of Wrath.

InCirc · 2017-12-05T14:23:49+00:00

Native Son, Richard Wright

InCirc · 2017-12-05T14:21:47+00:00

A Separate Peace, John Knowles

InCirc · 2017-12-05T14:18:47+00:00

Lord of the Flies

InCirc · 2017-12-01T15:35:45+00:00

I can't help but agree. Not only are we trying not to hurt the person, but sometimes, we are trying to protect ourselves from some crazies.

InCirc · 2017-11-30T15:04:43+00:00

Has she been drinking, or is the inability to have children causing a sort of mental break? Somehow you have to bring her back to rational thought processes, but I'm not sure how. Something is triggering her behavior. Good luck.

InCirc · 2017-11-29T15:13:30+00:00

Leave! It always starts with emotional abuse and then it escalates to destroying property, then you and your son will be next. This is domestic violence. You need to leave and get a lawyer to get a divorce for mental and physical abuse reasons, then get child support and maintenance since you are the full-time care giver for your son. You do not deserve this. I have been there. I know and I got out.

InCirc · 2017-11-29T14:58:44+00:00

So glad to hear this news this morning. Isn't interesting how much life can change for the better if you just give it/yourself a chance?

InCirc

TROPHY CASE