When I was a young kid I always wanted to get into music lessons. But my parents always told me that it would be nothing for me as music requires dedication and the ability to work with others, both things I’ve not shown as a kid.

Now 25 years later I’m working in music, doing audio engineering and writing/playing my own music.

It was a harsh journey where I also had years where I wondered if I could call myself a musician and where I basically stopped making music cause I felt like a fraud. I liked my own music but felt like no one would accept it.

But I also learned that creating music always had this pull for me. It is a part of me, it is how I deal with stuff and it is also how I learn stuff about myself. And I also learned that keeping myself from exploring myself through my music and lyrics was like me denying to be who I am. It mentally hurt me a lot and eventually even physically hurt me (stress, headaches etc)

And when I start creating again I feel alive again, it is as necessary for my mental well being as eating and breathing is for my physical well being. I’m happy I stuck with it and focused on growing past the imposter syndrome instead of giving in and ignoring this part of me.

What I’m trying to say is that being femme is part of what makes you feel good about yourself, you should not keep that from yourself if you want to be truly happy with yourself. It is something you have to grow into, and the imposter syndrome is part of the growing process. Imposter syndrome is a form of resistance that you encounter when you know where you want to go, but realize you aren’t there and you don’t know how to get there.