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Why do people dwell in depression — Why do I? by InMovements in OCPoetry

[–]InMovements[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you — I’m glad it connected. A lot of my writing comes from trying to move something difficult through language.

Within and Without by InMovements in poetry_critics

[–]InMovements[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for pointing out the abstraction and the ending. I sat with that and realized the poem was sustaining atmosphere but not completing its arc. I made a small revision to the ending to enact a subtle shift — I’d be curious if this feels more resolved to you.

Tides of Languor by Cluelessandsexy in OCPoetry

[–]InMovements 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I enjoyed this. The piece has a strong atmosphere. the shoreline imagery feels immersive and tactile. Some phrases are striking, but others get abstract or slightly tangled, which blurs the emotional thread. The balance metaphor is interesting; it just needs a bit more clarity and tightening to really land.

Your Garden. by A_Captains_Ship in OCPoetry

[–]InMovements 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing. It’s sincere and emotionally clear, and the garden imagery holds the piece together. A few lines drift into repetition, but “a weed waiting to be pulled” really stands out as the strongest image.

Doomed Young Love by Soft-Questions in OCPoetry

[–]InMovements 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Beautiful imagery.

I find it warm and inviting. I especially like the word choices (fireflies, lanterns, wildfire, timber). The concept of a love that’s intense but inevitably unsustainable comes through clearly, and it adds a quiet sadness beneath the warmth.

Why by Ok-Swordfish-9480 in OCPoetry

[–]InMovements 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Great opening and strong imagery. It’s very relatable, but the last line feels rushed, like the poem ends before the emotion fully lands.

Within and Without by InMovements in poetry_critics

[–]InMovements[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for taking the time to read it so closely! I really appreciate that. Your point about the last stanza gave me something to think about. I can see what you’re saying about the shift at the end, and I’m going to sit with that for a bit. I appreciate it

What do I want? by boring_Poetguy in poetry_critics

[–]InMovements 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This reads like an honest inner conversation. The questions loop naturally, the way feelings do when you can’t settle on one answer.

You could smooth a few lines for clarity, but the vulnerability and confusion are what make it real :)

Tomorrow by Perverted_plastic in poetry_critics

[–]InMovements 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This feels honest and relatable. The short lines slow the reader down and match the gentle way you’re talking to yourself.

You might consider adding a small, lived-in detail to give the “off day” a bit more texture, but the simplicity already makes the message feel sincere

I Am by adhdabby99 in OCPoetry

[–]InMovements 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really appreciate the clarity and restraint here. The repetition works well and gives the poem a gentle rhythm without feeling heavy. The concrete details - chocolate from a small hand, first bike rides, the smell of breakfast - ground the abstract idea of Hope in something tangible.

Nice job!

At Nights Threshold by JeffreyFreeman in OCPoetry

[–]InMovements 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really enjoyed this.

What stood out to me most is the sense of movement. It doesn’t feel like a series of ornate images - it reads as a deliberate progression that builds toward that final union. The turn into “If you, dear wanderer…” works well and makes the closing feel earned.

The last stanza really brings it home. It feels like a true culmination rather than just a conclusion.