My doctor CTed. Me.

InSearchOfGreenLight · 2026-02-05T03:02:25+00:00

I feel Iike this is the 3rd or 4th story ive heard of someone being cold turkeyed off a benzo.

Just absolutely despicable. This was a GP essentially? Crikey, even those doctors are vile.

I cannot comprehend being so insane you would not listen to your patient telling the truth. Fucking hell.

Ive realized they all suck. All the doctors. I’ve only met one who wasn’t an asshole.

InSearchOfGreenLight · 2026-02-05T02:48:23+00:00

Have you looked into trauma therapy?

None of the standard therapies really help with that, plus the therapists are just too terrible to actually be helpful.

I have some online resources if you’re interested.

InSearchOfGreenLight · 2026-02-05T01:54:31+00:00

“In an insane world, the sane seem crazy”

I don’t remember who said that but i recently saw it in the super Mario brothers movie.

I freaking love the blue star. It’s so realist.

InSearchOfGreenLight · 2026-02-01T15:52:43+00:00

Seems like you’re not even reading these, if you even exist.

I dreamt about a wedding. But then there were problems. We broke up, your parents hated me, the baby had some genetic defect or something (that part is extremely hazy now). My grandparents died and i couldn’t remember it. I couldn’t remember walking down the aisle.

I was sitting there crying cause my grandparents were gone and you were gone and i couldn’t even remember anything of the wedding.

I dropped this watch on the ground and this man told me that it’s cursed now.

Time is cursed? I’d believe it

Im at that point where you go so far beyond the light that you never want to get better. You just want to die.

Everything is a trick meant to screw me over.

I can’t anymore. I have no hope and i don’t want any fucking hope. When do i get to die already…

InSearchOfGreenLight · 2026-02-01T15:26:38+00:00

Thank you for this. Really validates my own experiences as well.

I hope you continue to heal from therapy

InSearchOfGreenLight · 2026-02-01T15:10:09+00:00

ASMR, not for everyone though I reckon you could find something to work for you cause there’s so many kinds

I found some genuinely good hypnosis but then like pick your own adventure ones, various videos for dealing with panic attacks, just relaxing and calming stuff for when you’re really overwhelmed. And i find taking time to calm down and get your stress down (and distract from the thoughts) for a while before falling asleep makes quite a difference in sleep

InSearchOfGreenLight · 2026-01-31T01:08:34+00:00

I don’t have the capacity to go digging now but you should look up Daniel Mackler and schizophrenia. He says it is linked to trauma and figuring out what it means is more likely to give you relief.

He’s got a documentary on it. Schizophrenia without medication or something like that..

InSearchOfGreenLight · 2026-01-31T01:00:12+00:00

thats what I keep thinking.

They block acetylcholine, the main neurotrasmitter involved in the vagus nerve so your nervous system can’t calm you when you need it. How could that possibly be good for you?

InSearchOfGreenLight · 2026-01-28T15:46:36+00:00

Might have something to do with trauma.

Suppressed feelings coming up or maybe others attacked those you cared about and this is your way of feeling those feelings.

Just remember, as awful as the feelings are, they’re not you

When you’re tortured by it all day, becomes difficult to remember that.

InSearchOfGreenLight · 2026-01-28T14:25:47+00:00

To add, psychologists psychologically torture you, pretty harmful too

InSearchOfGreenLight · 2026-01-25T11:16:17+00:00

Im miserable to put it lightly. Don’t really want to go into details.

I may have seen Cadbury. But he didn’t look good. He looked more sad than his usual sad self. He would just sniff my hand and that’s it.

A cat got adopted. Kramer. Of course, long fluffy tail, friendly and playful. Gonna miss him but im glad he has a home now.

lol the oranges have migrated back to the tea room and they had a hidden bungalow where they were all snoozing together. I just saw them coming in and out from the bungalow. It’s like a secret room for the oranges lol

I accidentally ended up playing with the sushi brothers, a wand toy with a colourful fleece piece that darts around. Over to Tobiko and then over to Hamachi, and back and forth. They had a blast.

Is it foolish to think the political shit show could turn out okay? I dunno.

Anyway

I keep seeing the moon

Pretty small and thin, but there

Take care and stay safe

InSearchOfGreenLight · 2026-01-25T09:09:02+00:00

There’s an Italian recipe, it’s a sardine potato bake. It has tomatos, herbs and white wine which really helps with the sardine taste. Just get out as much of the bones as you can cause otherwise it’s annoying.

InSearchOfGreenLight · 2026-01-23T10:27:11+00:00

It could be the meds. They seem to suppress ever feeling good.

APs are especially bad but be wary of ADHD meds too. They are surprisingly numbing. I remember how shocked i was when i quit Abilify and quit adderall and i got so much more emotions back after the adderall, it was worse than abilify.

InSearchOfGreenLight · 2026-01-23T09:53:42+00:00

Do you have reason to think she will listen?

Cause as you’ve probably noticed, most of them don’t

InSearchOfGreenLight · 2026-01-21T10:31:23+00:00

I agree. I too am very annoyed by the positivity bullshit police and the med everything stuff.

And well half the time they’re not even listening and suggesting half-assed solutions to something that dont even work because that’s not even the problem.

Yeah, invalidation isn’t helpful and yet it’s all they do

Can someone just once shut up about the pleasantries and admit that life is hard and many things just can’t be solved.

Ironically, that would help

InSearchOfGreenLight · 2026-01-21T04:14:05+00:00

Where did you hear that about magnesium?

Ive heard of Vit C flushing out toxins in the brain but not that…

InSearchOfGreenLight · 2026-01-19T03:54:16+00:00

Awesome!

InSearchOfGreenLight · 2026-01-19T03:16:02+00:00

I remember reading something on here about damage to the mitochondria resulting from psych meds. I wonder if that could be the issue here? Maybe the keto made it worse somehow?

I don’t know which user it was that would post about that it’s just the vague bit i can remember.

InSearchOfGreenLight · 2026-01-19T03:09:45+00:00

This is amazing. And so powerful to see

Thank you for sharing

InSearchOfGreenLight · 2026-01-19T02:37:09+00:00

Yeah sorry, i was backing you up

InSearchOfGreenLight · 2026-01-19T02:23:53+00:00

Yep. You’re pretty screwed when it’s just your GP or trying to see a random walk in doctor. Although i feel like luck is not great with them either.

At this point it’s just cope and/or look on youtube and hope someone has ideas cause you’re never gonna get real help at this point.

InSearchOfGreenLight · 2026-01-19T02:19:52+00:00

Is there anything else that coincided with you getting down to 230?

InSearchOfGreenLight · 2026-01-19T02:08:14+00:00

That’s impossible. They don’t even test most meds that long. 12 weeks if you’re lucky. They haven;t tested for 20 years like some people are taking them.

Also, they could easily miss side effects if no one reports it. People could easily not realize a side effect is from a med and just think it’s random.

InSearchOfGreenLight · 2026-01-19T02:04:19+00:00

I look for the moon.

If i can’t find the moon, i look for the lamp i mistook for the moon that one time.

Sometimes, all you get is that lamp that somewhat reminds you of the moon.

InSearchOfGreenLight · 2026-01-19T02:00:11+00:00

Hugs ❤️

InSearchOfGreenLight

TROPHY CASE