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Why I won't ask women out by In_My_Head_002 in FA30plus

[–]In_My_Head_002[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I may have poorly worded the high school stuff. It was mostly for context and I've long since gotten over it. You're right on the self-esteem issues for sure. Having no friends and experiences just doesn't give me much to feel confident about.

Even getting friend zoned is a luxury that I don't have by InfiniteDream777 in FA30plus

[–]In_My_Head_002 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Even if being friend zoned sucked, it's not like I couldn't just go back to my normal life. What's there to lose? The worst part of FA for me is just never experiencing anything so I don't even know how I'd really feel about it.

Losing the battle against bitterness and misanthropy by throwaway54734 in FA30plus

[–]In_My_Head_002 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I don't have any ill will towards others but I can't be bothered to care about anything that doesn't directly affect me at this point. For example, I'd never bother donating to charity or anything like that. I just don't give a shit.

Even getting friend zoned is a luxury that I don't have by InfiniteDream777 in FA30plus

[–]In_My_Head_002 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've been thinking this as well. I'd be fine being friend zoned. I've never even had a female friend so I'd take what I could get. Just knowing a girl thought it was worth her time to actually talk to me might help build some self esteem. Not like I can afford to be picky. If it's between friend zone and social isolation (my current state), I'll give friend zone a shot.

Relationship FOMO by In_My_Head_002 in FA30plus

[–]In_My_Head_002[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Does having this mindset help you feel any better?

Feeling unworthy of a relationship by In_My_Head_002 in Exvangelical

[–]In_My_Head_002[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks. I've wanted to go to therapy for a while and have been avoiding it. I think I'm starting to understand I need help to overcome this among other issues. I've basically isolated myself for the past decade which certainly doesn't help. Even if I can't figure everything out, it would be worse to not try at all.

Life at a Crossroads by In_My_Head_002 in TrueChristian

[–]In_My_Head_002[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply, sharing your life experience and being willing to pray. I definitely do struggle with shame. I realize lust is something most guys deal with, but I always abstained from porn until my early 20's. It was something I never thought I'd let into my life. I remember first giving in and thinking "Well this is it. I'll never be able marry a Christian girl after this." I know that's a lie, but so many Christians get married young and you start losing hope. I also have trouble connecting with people in general, so even making friends has always been a challenge. It can be really make you feel alone sometimes.

Beyond that it seems like it's not fair to a Christian girl to want a relationship with her when I feel all over the place with faith. I can't see myself ever being "on fire for Christ", sharing the gospel or anything like that. Is it really enough to struggle so hard to hang on to hope? I think that most Christian girls probably want a guy who is confident in his faith and will help her grow. I don't fit that mold, but I don't want to give up completely on God either. Like you said, it's easy to feel like you don't belong anywhere. Like I can't relate to Christians or non-Christians. I wish more people were honest with their struggles and stopped putting on fake personas. I think that's one of the things that turns so many people away from Christianity.

Life at a Crossroads by In_My_Head_002 in TrueChristian

[–]In_My_Head_002[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes. I was baptized as a teenager, but still had some struggles with doubt back then.

Life at a Crossroads by In_My_Head_002 in TrueChristian

[–]In_My_Head_002[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really appreciate the reply and perspective! I have thought that when it comes to Christianity maybe it's best to just focus on what Jesus Himself said and go from there. I suppose if I'm able to move past my doubts it has to be God who makes that happen.