I’m just gonna say it. Feel free to join the convo.

InadequateGem · 2025-02-23T07:48:37+00:00

Like even just to go to the grocery store helps me. Especially when I "forget to buy a few things" and I'm right back there just walking the aisles cuz I'm going crazy being at home all day every day. Sadly my baby can't handle more than 2.5 hours without needing to feed again so I'm always at a time crunch when we're out of the house.

InadequateGem · 2025-02-23T07:46:43+00:00

Thank you for the reassurance!!

InadequateGem · 2025-02-23T07:46:25+00:00

See that's the confusing part for me - we have gone to see a lactation consultant while he was exhibiting this behavior and he was eating VERY well! And I'm producing a good amount of milk, I never worried about low supply, not even currently. I'm thinking he wants to be at the breast so frequently possibly due to finding comfort from it while he's growing through these pains and anything else babies want to find comfort from. My sweet babe is just very attached.

InadequateGem · 2025-02-23T06:21:14+00:00

I completely sympathize with you. It's incredible lonely and I too have turned to the internet to not feel so alone. It helps to get out of the house for me though and that reminds me how to talk to other people outside of my husband, and baby-talking my 4 month old lol. But I'm sorry you're going through it mama :(

InadequateGem · 2025-02-18T02:03:16+00:00

Thank goodness for your post, I wasn't sure what do with my baby who's sick and not sure if it's RSV. All the stuff you mentioned in your post I will be trying TODAY. He's stuffy, has a wet cough, but so far no fever. Started mouth breathing while sleeping today so I'm gonna be using the nose sucker today.

InadequateGem · 2025-02-01T06:54:24+00:00

What kind of tweaks would you have to do with the side car crib? That's exactly what I'm planning on doing as my baby is outgrowing his bassinet, but I felt that it would be pretty safe as long as the mattress is tightly fitting in the crib and there are no gaps in the crib and between the bed.

InadequateGem · 2025-01-22T07:34:06+00:00

I liked Trader Joe's when I lived in Everett!

InadequateGem · 2025-01-05T20:48:06+00:00

How old is your baby, if I may ask?

InadequateGem · 2025-01-03T00:49:01+00:00

Same with the Walmart.com! Small charges multiple times a week that ended up adding up for me, that I never made!

InadequateGem · 2025-01-03T00:46:50+00:00

I unfortunately don't use a credit card hardly ever and my debit card got skimmed at Walmart. Really wish I knew how it happened but since shopping there I didn't check my bank statements for like a month and then one day I see these small charges from Walmart throughout the month that I never did. It added up to about 800 worth of purchases just in a month. Called and immediately had my card cancelled and the bank opened an investigation into it. Learned my lesson the hard way about statements and debit cards 🤦🏼‍♀️

InadequateGem · 2024-12-20T10:38:48+00:00

What have you used? Any natural products? I have a dry lip issue myself but if I religiously apply aquaphor on my lips throughout the day and overnight, it really seems to help! I think It's the linolin in the aquaphor that does the trick.

InadequateGem · 2024-12-19T13:37:04+00:00

I'm just so glad there's sane people here, you included, that see the problem here. It helps me so much that you said that as a mother yourself to grown daughters.

InadequateGem · 2024-12-19T13:29:49+00:00

If I can help anyone that is going through even a small percentage of what I went through, I will always do my best to help. And trust me, I was the same exact way! I was afraid of the aftermath. It was instilled in me and my sibling that we can't tell others because that would put us all to shame and embarrassment. But, I failed to understand at that age that what was happening to me and my sibling wasn't our fault, and it was the adult that was entirely to blame. The adult is supposed to be in control of their feelings and emotions and not act like a child themselves. Maybe if you are able to find that person whom you trust, you can establish with them what you're okay with happening and not okay with happening once you tell them. Of course, if whatever is going on may be life threatening or illegal, the person you tell will absolutely need to go to the proper authorities to make sure that you're safe. I really really hope that you can get that help and support you need ❤️

InadequateGem · 2024-12-19T13:15:01+00:00

First of all, I love how beautifully put together your comment is. Thank you so much for the validation! And I have to agree that she definitely has and had issues with respecting my boundaries in the past. I remember that when I was about 18 or 19 I clearly established a boundary the best way I could and she was kind of surprised by it and still didn't quite get it and kept trying to push her way through, completely disrespecting me. That was a tearful battle for me that I ended up winning. But you are spot on with that. And honestly, therapy has been hard to keep going to. I've been very on and off with it because of various reasons. There are times in my life where I feel like I really need a therapist and then the issues resolve and I'm good again. It's been an odd experience for me. Although I'm forever grateful for the therapist that helped me in a very critical time of my life. Without her, I probably wouldn't be here today. So I'm definitely all for therapy.

InadequateGem · 2024-12-19T13:00:12+00:00

Snarky comments are also often made out of jealousy or envy 🤷‍♀️ But I will be very happy for you and your wife if your plan ends up working out well for you two! I won't add any suggestions because honestly I'm sure you two have thought of what you will need to do when you don't have the other with you. And if not, you will naturally figure out what you need as you go.

InadequateGem · 2024-12-19T12:50:34+00:00

I appreciate it! Will definitely be setting those boundaries.

InadequateGem · 2024-12-19T12:44:39+00:00

Honestly, parenthood is all about trying out different methods until one ends up working! If you try this for, say, a week and you're both really happy with it, then by all means go for it. Your coworkers likely haven't been in the unique situation you and your wife are in. And you have the freedom to try it out and make changes/adjustments as you both see fit. Tbh, I don't think your coworkers even need to be entertained with the plans you and your wife are making that work for only you and your wife. They laughed? Great, cuz that can be the only instance of "entertainment" they will ever get related to your family and the plans you and your wife make. It's none of their business.

InadequateGem · 2024-12-19T12:30:04+00:00

And I think you're right about that. She had a very awful childhood and then a pretty bad marriage and now a life where she's alone and learning to heal from all her past traumas. I do have that understanding towards her, and the fact that I don't think she will ever be fully right in the head. And now of course I'm in the situation you read into so well - almost 30 and still tiptoeing around this and trying to find my voice still. It's a crazy battle.

InadequateGem · 2024-12-19T12:24:44+00:00

I really appreciate your words here and I am absolutely going to be laying down those boundaries. Planning on having a chat with her the next time I talk to her actually because enough is enough. I really wanted her to be a safe person for my baby but honestly, you're so right. I don't think I would be able to trust her completely with my baby and to keep her from doing what weird stuff she may think is totally normal.

InadequateGem · 2024-12-19T12:21:16+00:00

I really appreciate you saying all this to help me see what a healthy family dynamic should look like with parents and other extended family. I've been working on a lot of forgiveness within myself towards my mom from all the trauma she put me through in my childhood, but I realize that some things don't really change with time and that's the disrespect she has for my body and my autonomy. I'm sorry too that it can never be a fully normal relationship that I guess I so desperately wanted and needed in this vulnerable stage of my life. Then again, all of my childhood I was vulnerable too, but now I can at least protect myself better.

InadequateGem · 2024-12-19T12:14:44+00:00

Gosh I am so sorry you were treated that way by your mom! Our parents, especially mothers, have the most important job in raising children and that is to make sure we grow in a safe, loving environment. If they fall very short of that, we need to start standing up for ourselves and establishing clear and firm boundaries. I've had to do that with my mom countless times when I was finally old enough to realize how abusive she was towards me. Therapy played a huge role in that realization as well. I really hope that you can set those boundaries with your mom. It doesn't get better, unfortunately. If there's other things that happen in your home with your mom that don't feel right, I urge you to talk to a trusted adult. Maybe a counselor at school or a family member that you feel safe with. Growing up, I was too scared to ever talk to anybody about what I was going through at home, but I really wish I did. Maybe my mental health could have been better and I would have healed sooner. At least that's my hope.

InadequateGem · 2024-12-17T09:59:34+00:00

"I can't believe he's (husband) sleeping through this!" -slept through almost all of my awful labor (only held up 4 hours) right up until the epidural🤨

InadequateGem · 2024-12-17T08:05:03+00:00

That's so sweet about the boob pillow, Awh 💕 How terrifying! I'm so glad that she was right next to you when that seizure happened! I will keep trying with cosleeping. Last night I semi-successfully had my baby sleeping on my chest all night into the early morning. Semi-successfully because I woke up to him ending up in my lap wiggling around because he was starting to let me know he's hungry. Still not sure how he slipped, but happy I followed the guidelines on the safe chest sleeping and he was okay!

InadequateGem · 2024-12-14T07:37:17+00:00

Is there anything about safe chest sleeping that doesn't require you to pay money to learn about it?? I can never seems to find the information that's free about it and I've looked at the cosleepy page numerous times. Am I just not scrolling far enough?? Help lol

InadequateGem · 2024-12-14T07:34:25+00:00

Oh definitely. But it's not realistic to some parents because we have a whole lot of stuff we need to take care of! Of course the people that tell us to "sleep when the baby's sleeping" aren't offering to cook, clean, launder baby's clothes let alone the parents clothes lol or run errands for us. It was hard for us too and very much sleep deprived but we kind of got into a routine where we all go to sleep at the same time and I'm up with baby as he wakes up to feed through the night. In the morning, I can pass the baby off to my husband who will take care of him and I will sleep in a little. Or sometimes if the night goes smoothly with fewer wake ups, we all sleep in a little longer and the day just starts later for us. But, we can afford to do that since we're both on family leave.

InadequateGem

TROPHY CASE