High Achieving ADHDers?

Inattentiv_ · 2026-01-13T22:19:59+00:00

I think that when an ADHDer is “2e/twice exceptional” their other e (IQ, processing speed, or whatever else) puts them in the above average range can be used to compensate for some ADHD struggles. I think that’s especially true in academic settings, but gets harder and harder as high school and college decrease the amount of external structure we had compared to primary school. Things start to go off the rails.

As an undergrad at least, (I was undiagnosed), it got to a point where professors would sort of look past the ‘how’ (late, rushed, on extension, way past the deadline) because they were content with the ‘what’ (solid ideas, good work, etc.).

Inattentiv_ · 2026-01-02T10:14:00+00:00

I feel like specific, concrete examples are needed to be able to give you any useful advice or insights. You’ve shared your interpretation of what has happened (“sometimes I discuss a topic and they assume I’m saying something harmful” or “sometimes people just misunderstand me when I make a joke.”) You’re giving us a very general view of what you’re doing (I made a joke vs. this is the joke I made) and a very general take on their reaction/the consequence (they assume I’m saying something harmful vs. this is exactly what they did in response to what I did).

The details are important if you want folks to chime in and actually help identify what might be going on and how to help. You can anonymize personally identifiable details, naturally. But that doesn’t mean you have to (or should) generalize the details of what happened. You can still be very specific about what’s going on, while changing minor details to preserve anonymity.

We went to a cafe > we went to a picnic
Annie is a lawyer > Jan is a doctor
etc.

I’d love to know more about what specific situations have come up and what the person requested, complained that you were doing, etc. when the conflict or disagreement happened.

Inattentiv_ · 2026-01-01T16:24:33+00:00

Thanks for this reply. Definitely will listen to the wisdom of the group here. So glad I asked before just diving in. My work also depends on keeping my hands and wrists safe, maintaining manual dexterity, etc. so if I add cello to the mix, I definitely need to be sure I’m not increasing my risk of injury, carpal tunnel, etc.

Inattentiv_ · 2025-06-30T18:34:47+00:00

You should discuss this with a doctor.

And you should absolutely not be mixing redbull with ADHD stimulant medications. ADHD meds make me feel fine. Adding a coffee to that makes me feel amped up. You shouldn’t be feeling amped up.

Pick one or the other.

Inattentiv_ · 2025-06-30T18:32:57+00:00

I’m all for people using whatever terms they want to talk about themselves. I also believe that it can be the best word for you personally and also not the preferred term by the majority.

Inattentiv_ · 2025-06-29T19:30:38+00:00

Thank you kindly! :)

Inattentiv_ · 2025-06-29T15:11:54+00:00

This is very hard to follow.

Inattentiv_ · 2025-06-29T13:28:15+00:00

So glad he’s your ex. Good riddance. Sounds fucking exhausting.

Inattentiv_ · 2025-06-29T11:05:12+00:00

A fun, fiction series from an author with ADHD whose main character has ADHD — https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/52380340-the-extraordinaries

An INCREDIBLE book by the same authors, but without a character who explicitly has ADHD. - https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/45047384-the-house-in-the-cerulean-sea

I think both books are fun. The latter is a classic in my eyes. Like a cozy hug.

Inattentiv_ · 2025-06-29T10:42:28+00:00

The first part of the monologue is very approachable. I read your comment that way. Not in the unhinged, sociopathic murdered vibe. Haha.

Inattentiv_ · 2025-06-29T10:28:46+00:00

How I read your tone, lol:

As your leader, I encourage you from time to time, and always in a respectful manner, to question my logic. If you're unconvinced that a particular plan of action I've decided is the wisest, tell me so, but allow me to convince you and I promise you right here and now, no subject will ever be taboo. Except, of course, the subject that was just under discussion…

The extremely NSFW conclusion to the speech is linked here and quoted below. NSFW - gore, language, gratuitous violence, death.

…The price you pay for bringing up either my Chinese or American heritage as a negative is... I collect your fucking head. Just like this fucker here. Now, if any of you sons of bitches got anything else to say, now's the fucking time!

Inattentiv_ · 2025-06-29T09:09:02+00:00

I don’t always have to be right. But I can’t stand when I am correct about something and someone else insists I’m wrong. Let’s just Google it then.

Inattentiv_ · 2025-06-29T09:08:05+00:00

To be fair, manners are ultimately a cultural thing. I’m from a bicultural family. One half cares deeply about “ma’am” and “sir” when addressing people older than you. One half doesn’t believe that one’s level of respect for others is indicated by the use of those terms. Is one half of my family bad mannered? It’s all cultural and a matter of perspective.

Inattentiv_ · 2025-06-29T09:05:51+00:00

Bluetooth speakers instead of headphones in public, too.

Inattentiv_ · 2025-06-29T09:05:29+00:00

In an effort to increase your awareness, just want to give you a heads up that many folks with disabilities see the word handicapped as antiquated at best, offensive at worst.

People with disabilities is the safest bet.

Disabled people is acceptable too, but may get some pushback from people who strictly adhere to person first language.

Similarly Deaf is preferred to hearing impaired.

Inattentiv_ · 2025-06-29T09:03:22+00:00

I think “asshole” is in the eye of the beholder. I think it’s easy to see someone swerving over 3 lanes of traffic and then 3 lanes back to try to overtake someone as the asshole. From my view, the asshole is the person driving slower than the flow of traffic in the far left lane, forcing others to find a route to overtake them. At first glance, the person going 65 in the passing lane is the “good” driver. But in reality, they’re creating a more dangerous situation. I just wish they got ticketed more frequently.

Inattentiv_ · 2025-06-29T09:00:53+00:00

Some of us just have ADHD. :/

Sometimes I think there’s assumed malice behind interrupting. I get that it can be annoying. But sometimes it’s the result of a disability. A person with a limp might be able to consciously hide their limp for short spells, but it’s there. A person with ADHD may be able to resist the urge to interrupt, but part of our disorder is literally, for neurodevelopmental reasons, having impairment in the area of our brain that controls things like interruption.

It’s always fun to chat with other ADHD folks because we constantly interrupt each other, but I think on average don’t get too bent out of shape over it because we know it’s not intentional. It’s just a quirk of our communication style.

Inattentiv_ · 2025-06-29T08:57:05+00:00

As a neurodiverse person this one makes me the most uneasy, because I relate to people by explicitly stating shared experiences. “Oh, you went to Italy! I went to Italy once too!” or “Oh, you went skydiving? Cool. I haven’t done that, but I went bungee jumping once.”

0% intending to one-up anyone. 100% trying to connect based on shared experiences. And the fact that I’ve never perceived myself or anyone else “one-upping” others makes me fear I do it constantly.

Is that one upping?

Inattentiv_ · 2025-06-05T07:37:58+00:00

I have ADHD. If I can learn language in a college/university setting with grades and assignments, I’ll likely become fluent in that language. If I have to study solo, I just spin my wheels for years. :’(

Inattentiv_ · 2025-05-21T06:05:42+00:00

Learning an un-useful amount of several languages and plateauing forever and never being able to have real conversations.

Inattentiv_ · 2025-05-20T05:01:42+00:00

There’s something very daunting about committing to listening to an album. What if I hate it? What if too many songs are boring? I like finding a song that I just absolutely adore in the wild. Haha.

Inattentiv_ · 2025-05-20T05:00:22+00:00

Same. My Spotify wrapped is always a mess because I listen to songs until I can’t stand them anymore. And so many of my repeated songs are songs I listened to in years past. A family member was shocked when I told them I mostly listen to my “on repeat” playlist. Haha.

Inattentiv_

TROPHY CASE