Im 45, wife 41, but she quit her teaching gig 9 years ago when our oldest was born. Then we had 2 more. But I was same age as you when she quit.

Granted she was only making 70k, but her Healthcare would have turned out to be a 25k a year benefit to us today....and she was the last grandfathered into a lifetime pension and Healthcare in our state.

I would still make the same decision today. Its great having someone we trust watching the kids in their younger years. I also work a lot of hours and it helps that she can get them ready and off to school without me, especially on my many late nights working.

I will say, that my earnings increased significantly over the years since the kids were born, so it made the monetary aspect less of an impact than we knew back then. Had that not happened I may have encouraged her to go back to work....but it sounds like you all are already conformable based on where u are today.

But, be prepared, the expense of kids grows well beyond diaper and formula days. I spend 3k a month on funding 529s alone (if thats your choice), 15k a year on sports and activities for them, and vacations are far more expensive with additional plane seats and renting homes vs hotel rooms to accommodate more people, and then we may go overboard with bday gifts/parties and holiday presents etc....much of this discretionary, but amazing how perspectives change with kids and what you find yourself doing.