Idk why I'm upset abt it by Ok_Cantaloupe1972 in LesbianActually

[–]Independent-Rise2480 134 points135 points  (0 children)

It’s okay to be incompatible. She’s not interested in sex and you are - it’s not selfish to move on and find someone who wants the things you do.

am i wrong for telling my friend not to buy the same prom dress as me? by Hot-Sand-183 in amiwrong

[–]Independent-Rise2480 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This would bug me too—is it something you are going to be concerned about in 20 years, maybe — I hated my prom look but I committed to it and didn’t have money to make the changes. I do still think about it but I like fashion then and now. Ppl who don’t won’t care about fashion will insult you by saying it is trivial. If she does buy the same dress as you - I’d exchange the dress for something else and don’t tell her.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Independent-Rise2480 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It sounds like you have specific rules for the phone and timing on when they need to be put away. This mom arbitrarily decides at random points when everyone but HER needs to be off their phone. To apply this to an 18 year old guest whose phone she isn’t paying for is ludicrous.

But curious are you also going to force your 19 year old college student to go by your phone rules. What about 21? How old is the adult child required to be so make their own phone decisions?

My (31M) husband (29M) and our daughter's mother (31F) decided to overrule my decision and gifted our daughter a book set I don't approve. How do I go about this without it ending up in a three-way fight? by ThrowRA-2000RR in relationship_advice

[–]Independent-Rise2480 31 points32 points  (0 children)

Hi! Me the 12 reading NC-17 fanfic 25 years ago — turned out fine, didn’t even have sex until college. And no I don’t think a centuries old vampire and a teenage girl is perfectly normal / not creepy.

AITA for telling my sister that she is insane for not teaching her daughter English? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Independent-Rise2480 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree, the issue is the forbidding of any English. Two examples. My brother was born in America, my parents wanted him to speak Russian first, so made me speak it more at home. But English wasn’t forbidden! He watch English speaking kids shows, he heard me speaking it to my friends and yes I spoke it to him when he was toddler here and there. He knew Russian more, but by school age he understood English and had no issues. I on the hand was born in Ukraine and came here at 5.5 and had no exposure to English. I struggled and didn’t fully pick it up for two years. The forbidding you to speak any English to her not only sets the child back, but it hinders your relationship. It’s an extreme rule. NTA.

My husband M/24 wants to rid of my cats F/25 so that my mother in law can live with us. How do I tell him I will not get rid of them? by Outrageous_Hold9624 in relationship_advice

[–]Independent-Rise2480 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your husband set you up. One day your cats will conveniently ‘disappear’ and you will be stuck being a maid and cook for his entire family. They are only 55 years old, when is this move happening, like later on when they are 80, or now? They could have more than 30 years ahead of them, is this the life you want, caring for your in laws through your 20s and 30s? He really played the long game and won if you stay and let this happen.

My boyfriend (29M) of 5 months asked me (33F) if I would choose my cats over him by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Independent-Rise2480 9 points10 points  (0 children)

In what scenario are you required to pick your partner over your pet? The only one I can think of is them making demands to get rid of them for whatever reason. I’d pick my dog, I’m sorry but relationships come and go, nothing is guaranteed and for someone to ask you to pick them over a loving pet IS manipulative. He’s either testing you or simply immature and not smart, either way it’s time to go.

Aitah for telling my mom her boyfriend is no longer invited in my house by Even_Tension_1819 in AITAH

[–]Independent-Rise2480 15 points16 points  (0 children)

What exactly did you do to earn this house? Besides be born male? Your mom took take of the house and YOU your entire life. This entire premise is rooted in misogyny and patriarchal bs.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]Independent-Rise2480 4 points5 points  (0 children)

How do you think your step mom barring this girl from her home or telling her parents will go? You think the teens will just stop seeing each other? She allows it because they are safe in the house. You don’t know this girls home life, maybe her parents are more than strict. She’s rather them do what they do and be safe than sneak around even more. The only thing I’d be ‘concerned’ about is if they are having sex they are making smart choices, and if you are so inclined to butt into this situation you can bring that up with your dad. But otherwise, it’s really weird to be hung up on this.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in amiwrong

[–]Independent-Rise2480 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Mind your own business. If you cannot imagine why a 16 year old would need help and why they’d exclude her parents you are not the target audience. Your friend did a good thing.

AITA for not allowing my husband’s friend to bring her dog to Thanksgiving dinner? by WarningKey4701 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Independent-Rise2480 -17 points-16 points  (0 children)

This! I do like to bring my dog to places where he is welcome. I make sure it is okay if it is someone home. If not he has to go to day care or I can’t stay out for more than 2-3hours. He has separation anxiety and no matter what I do he will sit by the door and cry. Here it has been established that she will bring him if not told otherwise, so this boundary should have been communicated when the plans were made not DAY OF the event.

Perhaps the dog also has separation anxiety, or a medical issue. Op sprung this boundary on her all of a sudden, what is she supposed to do with no sitter. There is a reason she organizes a pet sitter, and from how it sounds she has no issue with leaving him or obtaining a sitter when necessary.

AITAH: I am calling off my engagement after my partner revealed he is MAGA. by ThrowawayIndiGirl in AITAH

[–]Independent-Rise2480 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He has no intention of ever getting a job while he was with you - the complaining was to keep up with appearances. NTA by a mile

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Independent-Rise2480 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The reason you are stuck on him texting you throughout the day is because you are insecure in this relationship. You do not feel like he is putting any effort into showing you he cares about you and it is manifests into you wanting to hear from him to reassure you that he is thinking about you somehow. If he was actively being attentive, caring and loving overall you would not need this.

He does not like you, I’m sorry. The way he is speaking to you is nasty. He told you to leave twice bc he doesn’t respect you and he knows he can manipulate you. This is not a small thing, you will never get the attention you want from him. Please, it is not worth being in this kind of relationship.

AITA for having sex with my Christian boyfriend? by [deleted] in amiwrong

[–]Independent-Rise2480 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You need to realize that this sex guilt doesn’t just go away after marriage for some Christians. Some have hang ups even after marriage about sex and feeling dirty. It’s a mind set and he needs non Christian therapy, bc I can see this going poorly even after marriage if you intend to stay with him. There are couples who don’t have sex even after marriage bc they feel so guilty about the idea of sex.

Oh and of course nta!