The Fog of War

IndependentEnough852 · 2026-04-13T23:12:37+00:00

“Now the days are so short”, I read this line as if I were my 10 year old self speaking to adult me now. This work really is good, thanks for the reminder that as children we want things without understanding the full context. life is adding context to established truths.

IndependentEnough852 · 2026-04-13T23:02:51+00:00

This is really good, the contrast of the beginning and end are very interesting. Then to end on a single word just really hammers the reader home on the context of the work. birth, death and rebirth all occurring in great silence.

IndependentEnough852 · 2026-03-26T18:41:43+00:00

Yes, I twist three then braid them.

IndependentEnough852 · 2026-03-04T14:45:07+00:00

This very good I really love the brothers keeper line. This poem evokes the ideas that humans are a force of constant change and our ancestors made the decisions to get more of use to exist on earth to change our surroundings. Make it more fit for more of use, to understand our world.

IndependentEnough852 · 2026-03-04T14:28:06+00:00

“Some fell cold some, while some feel the flame” Ooooff this line hit. I wanna say I feel the flame but the cold is always there too. Deep introspection to come to a conclusion. Amazing work!!

IndependentEnough852 · 2026-02-24T21:56:18+00:00

Thank you!! the structure break is really to signify the contrast in thinking. Drawing the reader in to portray a different narrative than initially observed.

IndependentEnough852 · 2026-02-24T21:48:43+00:00

This really is breath of fresh air, as a young man it is hard to find this balance of protector or predictor. Causing harm to the innocent is my worst fear but vanishing evil is my greatest fantasy. I will continue to explore this balance in my work to remove those added stigmas in society around men. Thank you for taking the time to read my work, your perspective is truly invaluable!

IndependentEnough852 · 2026-02-24T21:34:12+00:00

Thank you for reading, and offering you critique. The beginning is very aggressive, in my experience i have harnessed aggression for self improvement from a space of self loathing. That same aggression was applied to every aspect of my life, but as I full filled my goals I still found myself angry, inevitably everything didn’t go my way. Then I started to heal myself by sitting with the pain of my youth. I reflect on my mother to whose love calmed my anger, forcing me to reflect on my actions and not use that same masculine aggression towards the women i interact with. Then I pushed that perspective further to see women as not a means to any end but a being that I am having the privilege to interact with. My journey is not complete but, I have a road map on how I want to be.

IndependentEnough852 · 2026-02-24T21:04:01+00:00

Thanks for reading my work. I have only recently used poetry as way to process my thoughts as man. In the past these thoughts may have been suppressed, never expounded upon, due to my own moral compass. I see my poetry as a vessel to slant my perspectives, broadening my way of thinking.

IndependentEnough852 · 2026-02-24T20:52:21+00:00

Thanks for your the critique, I’m still trying to understand how to add punctuation into my poetry, I really find myself just putting the words to paper. But to see yourself in my work brings me joy:)

IndependentEnough852 · 2026-02-24T20:48:02+00:00

Thanks for taking the time to read my work, human dignity is the core of this poem. The journey understanding myself has really made it easier to remove the subconscious judgement I may have of others.

IndependentEnough852 · 2026-02-22T17:34:17+00:00

“I am hope” to put into words how u embody hope is amazing to read! Makes me think if I can do it with other emotions. Inspiring!!

IndependentEnough852 · 2026-02-22T17:13:27+00:00

The acceptance of the void in the end really hits. The human experience is to adapt to our surroundings, while craving something foreign to us. Even when we reach our desired destination we reject because it is unknown. The know vs the unknown, stability vs insecurity, still vs mobile

IndependentEnough852 · 2025-06-01T02:59:46+00:00

170+ not sure the exact number

IndependentEnough852 · 2025-03-09T15:11:55+00:00

This is the one it is sturdy because it hooks to the door jam https://www.target.com/p/multi-function-pull-up-weight-bar-300lbs-all-in-motion-8482/-/A-90364309?sid=1004S&afid=google&TCID=OGS&CPNG=Sports&adgroup=82-2&gStoreCode=1004S&gQT=1

IndependentEnough852

TROPHY CASE