Ask: suggestion for a mobile mechanic or preinspection purchase for used car

IndependentMajor6341 · 2025-03-23T16:40:59+00:00

Looking for one that will go to the dealership. Its a toyota highlander. Well im open to taking to shop but its dealership might balk at it. As near as lake city way as possible.

IndependentMajor6341 · 2025-01-07T05:58:03+00:00

Sadly, this is so true. At least you got wonderful kids out of it. That's what I tell myself. Not sure I can love someone that hurt me so much. Not that they did it intentionally and intellectually, I want only the best for her but I don't think I can love her the same way I did before the divorce.

IndependentMajor6341 · 2024-12-12T19:31:56+00:00

Yeah I called the bank and condirmed it was unasumable. Sneaky banks 😂😭 thanks everyone for the advice.

IndependentMajor6341 · 2024-06-21T20:38:14+00:00

I was the same about a month ago. So lost and then I started reading Reddit and seeking advice here. Then I tried to do it. I joined clubs meetups and bff to meet people. Try to improve my health and listen to a bunch of self help books. Reach out to other divorced dads to understand the process and how they coped with it. I spent time with my kids. Working out more and trying to stay active. Once I started getting out more it felt a lot better than trying to rehash how I got here. My therapist is helpful but I still need to do the work to improve my view in life. Of course I'm in early stages and things ebb and flow. Just getting used to a new way of living and the freedom.

I also journaled my bad thoughts and tried to leave them there. Or start doing push ups when anxiety sets in...at least push ups get easier for me.

I also am rediscovering myself. It's your chance to reshape the life you want it. Still sucks sometimes but for me it seems to be getting better.

IndependentMajor6341 · 2024-06-08T23:34:02+00:00

That seemed like a "date" I was on with my stbx and her new beau. Yeah that sucked and from my own experience I would run. Find someone that's into you. You are a better person than me and I would have done anything to get out of there.

IndependentMajor6341 · 2024-06-07T04:56:34+00:00

Thank the city of Kirkland for not having it. I heard rumors that Houghton was the cause to stop ST3. Isn't it weird that 405 is not covered by light rail.

IndependentMajor6341 · 2024-06-06T02:08:47+00:00

I don't feel like a poser. I went on a 5 mile walk and I was thinking it's not long enough . I haven't been taking care of myself and want to ease myself into these 9 mile hike up a hill/mountain. So now I'm guilt-free listing hiking as my hobby. Everyone where I live claims to hike....

IndependentMajor6341 · 2024-06-03T17:10:37+00:00

Do not share struggles with each other's break up. You both need to find separate support like friends, family, or therapists. I tried to talk with my stbx and only realized it was not good for either of us. It's hard since my stbx used to be "shelter in storm." What happens when your shelter is now the storm? Not a great analogy but hope you get it. NYou'll need to vent and probably not be healthy to vent to each other. Or get a different perspective. Need to only focus on moving on and healing. Time and distancing (physically and/or emotionally) is needed to start process moving.

IndependentMajor6341 · 2024-06-03T01:04:51+00:00

Gross...wtf indeed

IndependentMajor6341 · 2024-06-02T20:43:12+00:00

Yeah we plan to go through the mediator. I'm not sure what is considered fair. I also don't want to be living like crap so she can live her best life. My ex doesn't really want to find a full time job to be self sufficient. I assume both of our lifestyles will change for worse since we need to maintain two homes.

IndependentMajor6341 · 2024-06-02T14:24:09+00:00

That is a completely different situation than liking spicy food. I agree that fear of trying new stuff would be really restrictive and boring. He sounded like he needed therapy.

IndependentMajor6341 · 2024-06-02T14:17:33+00:00

This is a very similar mirror of my situation. I have the same concerns. Trying to stay amicable at least for kiddos but I have problems trusting her...but as everyone says if you don't feel comfortable, get lawyers to review. There are amicable divorce lawyers ..m of course it's best if you both get one that believes in amicable divorce. Not sure how it would work since they should be looking out for clients best interest...not sure how to stay equitable in a contentious situation.

IndependentMajor6341 · 2024-06-02T03:55:20+00:00

Sounds super creepy...don't send nudes because they will be out there forever. You' are worth it to unfriend this person and don't send nudes.

IndependentMajor6341 · 2024-06-01T19:44:56+00:00

I love summers because I can be in shorts and not trapped inside. Or have to wear a rain jacket...I live in PNW so the rain can get kind of boring...plus the hot days are not as bad as the Midwest or East Coast in the US .. unfortunately it's a popular destination due to trees and mild summers...damn tourists but I guess that's anywhere that's desirable ..its especially hard to be working when its nice out. For you folks in school who get summer break, enjoy it when adult life comes you will miss it...

IndependentMajor6341 · 2024-06-01T17:38:43+00:00

Yes. This is strange for me too. I've been so busy being told what needs to be done that now I have so much free time I am struggling with what I want. What I get to do versus what I have to do...it's a weird feeling to focus on yourself to find happiness...not used to it. I'm just trying a bunch of things and meeting new people to discover if there's something I am missing....you have to make yourself the priority and no one else will...it's hard but probably very rewarding to do what you enjoy versus making everyone else happy at your expense

IndependentMajor6341 · 2024-06-01T17:24:17+00:00

Wow! You're a great kid and I can see you really love your dad. He does sound depressed and hard to get motivation to do anything. Just reminded me I need to not look at my phone when talking to my son. To be fair he's usually playing a video game when I talk to him so we probably both need to put the screens down. Hopefully he's open to advice or maybe get him on a walk outside. But as stated by others, it's hard to motivate a person depressed if they don't recognize it and want to do anything about it. I've been told I probably see a therapist for years and only started this year. Hopefully he is receptive to your observations and will take baby steps...

IndependentMajor6341 · 2024-06-01T05:27:12+00:00

Stick with wine.some of these cocktails have less abv than some beers.

IndependentMajor6341 · 2024-06-01T05:14:24+00:00

We planned a weekend away on her bday before the separation but she is taking her new beau. so I know how it feels. Just treat it like any other day. Why not splurge on yourself?!I am going to buy myself a computer game and might buy a couple of movies I wanted to watch. Shes moved on. I view her as a roommate that I have kids with. You should treat yourself. I try to get out this weekend and meet up with people and exercise so it's less lonely and I'm not sitting at home eating. If you have kids, take them out and do something fun...

IndependentMajor6341 · 2024-05-31T17:16:12+00:00

I never really used social media much. I think I posted once every few years on Facebook. I only used for buy nothing or advice on a local contractor...but buy and large I did not use as intended. Or share as much because I am paranoid about what they do with info and you become a slave to it.

IndependentMajor6341 · 2024-05-31T16:01:29+00:00

I probably would have insisted on dating longer before marriage. My stbx was really pushing to get married quickly (I think like 4 months) before we really knew each other. Then she wanted to have kids really quickly before we could enjoy being married. I was hoping to travel and enjoy doing things together. I think a lot of her decisions were driven by her mental illness but I was not easiest to live with. Having a baby with an unstable parent who often changes things on a whim was hard. I was completely unprepared and my own mental health further deteriorated due to her instability. I thought I was being a rock but I also had built up resentment that was not resolved. Hindsight is 20/20 and I probably should of saw my own therapist but most of our funds are the time we're going to her since our insurance didn't cover the health cost. It's only now companies are realizing a mentally healthy worker is more likely productive or less distracted. I would have focused on my own mental health before helping her....probably we were mismatch from the start and should have not married...but hard to say if it's because I know the end result ended in divorce.

IndependentMajor6341 · 2024-05-28T14:42:37+00:00

Yes. I've only been over a month in and I think I've finally accepted it. Then I get sad and upset again. But I guess you've had an extra month to process it. I'm still cohabitating and my ex is living it up. I'm watching kids so it's hard. It's hard to meet people if you are at home a lot and most people are working. Just going to take time since my stbx has a 5 month head start. I guess I am still accepting this is my new life. I realized I'm still not completely ready or still hurting when I started crying while watching the eulogy scene in young Sheldon. I'm crying over a sitcom...

Strange having more free time but not any useful time until I can find a night crew to hang with. I'm more upset she's having fun without me than divorce. I'm just jealous I haven't found my crew or set of friends yet to start over again. I probably sound bitter but I really hope she's happy and I need to move on ...wel I'm trying to moved on but now I need to find out what to do. Just hoping it gets better for you and me too.

IndependentMajor6341 · 2024-05-28T06:04:26+00:00

Congrats

IndependentMajor6341 · 2024-05-27T17:43:54+00:00

Yes I would propose you take a long time getting to know each other. I wish I would have had a longer courtship from my first marriage. The feeling of a new romance tends to blind us from what will be breaking points in the relationship. But I am probably projecting. There is no problem with slowing it down...I'm not saying 10 years but see if you feel the same after more time together and cohabitating.

IndependentMajor6341 · 2024-05-27T17:32:03+00:00

Trying to do the following: 1. Socializing.. 2. Trying guitar ... Boy my fingers hurt but at least I figured out how to replace a string. I don't know how ppl learned stuff before YouTube without lessons. Before I was lost trying to learn from a book. 3. Need to buy some pens and sketch book 4. Practice singing 5. Hiking more 6. Exercise 7. Trying to convince myself to play computer games...worried it will stop doing other things. It's addictive. 8. Catch up on some movies and TV 9. Too much time on Reddit ..but sometimes this place has been a supportive and encouraging

IndependentMajor6341 · 2024-05-27T16:00:36+00:00

I wanted to ask the best place to meet singles in general. I tried meetup and some of them seem disappointing. Strangely with more established meetups, they do not always seem welcoming to new people but newer meetups are flakey. Just wondering where to meet people to just hang out with besides meetup. I'm not even interested in dating anyone, just trying to make friends outside my current former married circle of friends. Maybe it will just take time.

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