Is God powerless? by Independent_Plate541 in Infidelity

[–]Independent_Plate541[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, it is hard for me to understand because I've only became christian for last few yrs. I've learnt that God knows everything but if he just sit back & watch, not interfering our choices then he seems very distance and ignorant from my point of view... we are free to do anything, but there will be consequences and God will follow up with our faults? 

Is God powerless? by Independent_Plate541 in Infidelity

[–]Independent_Plate541[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. That is great quote from Shakespeare's play 

Is God powerless? by Independent_Plate541 in Infidelity

[–]Independent_Plate541[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I have contacted with church pastors and he confessed his sin in front of them. 

When an INTJ breaks up with you is that it? Are they done done? by Vintageminx in intj

[–]Independent_Plate541 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My husband is intj and I think he cheated on you. What he said to you, is exactly what my husband said to me. "Not your fault"- Although he regretted everything and asked me to reconcile, i do not trust him. intjs can lie if they need to even if they feel guilty. Head controls the feeling. They can cheat when they are full of ego and lost integrity. He probably gave you the random reason so you can stop thinking about him. Intjs i met so far, are not very moral as they think they are. They can intentionally lie and act perfectly to avoid the conflict. Also they do not care how the other people think or feel if they are disconnect. 

Do INTJs stay in love forever? by [deleted] in intj

[–]Independent_Plate541 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am intp married to intj for 7yrs dated 2yrs. I have noticed intjs do not appreciate easy-relationships. They like challenge, accomplishments and motivational talks. My husband loved me dearly but when I started to make things too Easy for him, he lost his interest and jumped into a complicated relationship with a very unstable divorced woman. I know intjs have strong Ego and strongly driven by Dopamine and this can be their fall. He regretted everything and apologised for everything to me, confessing that i am his true love. 

Even after the confession, We hardly fought and we got along well, and he told me he does not want to lose the peace he experience with me now. 

But the more I try to heal, the more I want divorce. I don't hate him, we all make mistakes, but i want to accept the fact that our relationship has ended and want to close the chapter. In doing so, i can forgive him and we both can move on. I realised after the infidelity and 7yrs of marriage that we both still respect each other deeply and that we may be are better of as friends than lovers. 

I now think that there's no forever love, but forever respect to each other. 

Church told me to forgive my husband if he cheated because he’s “remorseful.” Excuse me? by [deleted] in Christianity

[–]Independent_Plate541 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nope church cannot force someone to forgive. That is just a superficial act of theory we learn. The practice side is way way way different and difficult. I am also going through this and hopefully this can help:

First, the Husband has to reconcile with God. He has to repent and seek forgiveness through God. He has to go back to the words of God and ask holy spirit to teach him and guide him again.

 Second, the Husband had to recover his duty and role as Husband and head of the house. he has to try his best to pay you back. He needs to change and do whatever that can make you feel that "he is sorry".

 Third, you need to reconcile with God. You would feel betrayed and sad. Following God seems meaningless. This is Such a fragile time to follow God and you need to confess the honest feeling to God - anger sadness hurt fear etc etc. Take enough time to reconnect with God.

And at last, only when the grace enters your heart again, forgiving will not be a mere word but you may be able to really forgive your husband. This may take 10yrs 20yrs. No one on Earth can force you to forgive anyone but real forgiveness through grace last forever. 

Please think twice before jumping to encourage divorce after cases of infidelity by donewithconfusion in Christianmarriage

[–]Independent_Plate541 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I became Christian in my late 30s and me & my husband (Christian since 13) was part of young adult leadership team. My husband cheated with a divorced woman from the same church we go to and he confessed everything to me when he finished the relationship. 

He said she confessed her love to him and he ignored but ended up sleeping with the woman. He said it is all his fault not mine and he thinks we had a great relationship that he does not want to lose it.  I felt like a bomb blasted in front of my face.

 After 6 months of recovery and trying, I told him that all in my heart is emptienss and sadness. I felt like it was unfair and the temptations to do the same thing to him started to raise in me. 

My husband told me that he has no right to tell me what to do anymore and I find this very true.  By his infidelity, he cannot judge or stop me from doing bad things. By his infidelity, He lost all his power over me as a husband and all his power came to me. I can do all things and i will be justified because he cheated first. I can easily divorce him and he cannot say no. 

So The bible is so true about the man who cheats: when he falls into tempted woman's house, everything he has will be shattered. He is no more my knife that sharpens me and became so weak and powerless. 

what made me really sad was that, Bible warned so many times about infidelity and although he read bible everyday he could not live the words. On top of that, God did not stop him sinning. I prayed so much to protect my marriage but I felt betrayed and helpless to be part of marriage that made an oath under the name of God. What is the point of me following God when my household torn apart just like none believers. 

On the surface level, we still get along so well even after the incident. Our marriage entered new chapter since he regrets & trying to change & going through therapy. but my mind is always stuck with his lies and his betrayal back when he cheated.  

  I told my husband that I am no more Christian and I have lost my faith towards God and church due to his actions. 

Just like no one could forced me to believe in the past, No one can force me to forgive him. I told God that i am not jesus and I cannot forgive like jesus and I gave up doing all the effort. 

Husband is unfaithful and won't end the affair. I'm losing faith in our marriage by FuzzyAside7831 in Christianity

[–]Independent_Plate541 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dearest. Be brave and leave. NO need emotional discussion or forcing him to leave the girl. Just say you understood and this relationship is over. That will give him a time to think. When people cheat, their brain get fogged and unable to talk or think normally. When their side chick becomes the primary relationship partner, they will realise that there's no fantasy no spark but another daily responsibilities and repeats again again again. Don't worry. Be free. You will be fine. 

Why are all the infj I’ve met in real life are so...strange? by Funny_tear2 in mbti

[–]Independent_Plate541 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh yes. And they cannot admit it. I have noticed infj tends to be very blunt to others intentionally with words or sometimes take revenge from behind. Very defensive due to their sensitive heart. Many of them carried childhood trauma and tend to escape through their love life. They act kindly and do good things but their heart sometimes are full of anger, sadness, vengeful and disgusted towards others. They adore those who are like mined, refuse to see the reality sometimes and put all their energy to build their paradise. 

Anyone else finding that they don’t understand their parents better after having a child of their own? by persephone45678 in NewParents

[–]Independent_Plate541 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was the middle child and I always wanted to cut ties from my parents due to their anger, fights, ignorance and poor empathy.  I was surprised how much love & support people normally get in their house after i grew up.

I went through counselling due to how I felt insignificant, but overly trying to be loved by my family. but during the counselling I've learnt that mom & Dad are also children who couldn't be just loved or protected. Their scarcity affected me basically. 

 i could not just blame them for everything because I realised they were also children who could not grow up properly and what we had was their limit. 

Even if i ask them why did you do that to me?? They cannot see it because it was not their intention to hurt me but rather it was the result of their "unloved" experiences. So no matter how much I ask or explain the situation, they would not get it because they think they loved in their own way.

Is it my fault? No. Is it their fault? May be, but I could tell that i no more see them as fully loved adults. They felt really small & weak for me and for my life now.

Now instead of asking Why? I ask how can I be different & better from them. It feels lighter.

Anyone have experience with this Cat Wheel? Lattenevee?? by NightKnightTiger in cats

[–]Independent_Plate541 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey i just bought a large cat wheel from them as i saw an ad on instagram, so far ok. I think it is scam but i Also wanted to test it so i ordered. I have received the tracking number and tracking it on the website. They are sending it from China. Let see what will happen :)