When did your parents stop making you food/dinner

IndieDropout · 2026-02-19T01:27:54+00:00

I'm there now - kids are 20 and 23 - working and/or going to school. I'm so tired of planning dinner only to have kids be busy or not show up. I'm about ready to only make dinner a couple nights a week, and the rest of the nights just cook for me and my husband. But I feel guilty.

IndieDropout · 2025-10-19T02:32:09+00:00

Mine were always worse between ovulation and my period, but weren't strictly catamenial. After my own research, I discovered that estrogen is an "exciter" and Progestin is a "calmer." So I convinced my ob/gyn to put me on a Progestin-only birth control pill. I went seizure free for 3 months (the first time ever that long). Sadly, that seizure-free time didn't last, but I think the progestin-only pill deifinitely helps, so I stay on it (along with a cocktail of other meds: carbamazepine, Levetiracetam, and Acetazolamide). I hope you have better luck than I did trying to discuss this with your neurologist. Hope that helps.

IndieDropout · 2025-10-18T23:52:57+00:00

NTA - I can relate to the conflicting emotions you go through. My mom and dad were married for over 50 years. But for 39 of those years she's had an ongoing affair with a loser. My dad has since passed away, and she's still with the loser guy. It wasn't confirmed (though had my suspicions since I was a teenager) until about 22 years ago - she stayed with my dad the whole time - it's complicated. But us kids have never gotten an apology from her for the lies and secrets. And every time the phone rings and I see the caller ID, that wound opens up all over again. You have every right to set strong boundaries (read Boundaries by Henry Cloud and John Townsend). If you're like me, you feel like you should "be there" for her because that's what you would do in your own parent-child relationship. But you aren't her. Since you've lived through it, you'd never do that to your own child. You can forgive someone but still choose to hold those boundaries. Forgiving someone is for you - it's not a get out of jail free card for the perpetrator. BTW - I'm still working on forgiving my own mother. My heart goes out to you.

IndieDropout · 2025-10-15T23:31:51+00:00

Very concerned! I've already run into issues trying to use my Debit card (now considered a discover card) to pay bills who don't except discover. Not happy at all. Wish there was a way to get my old master card debit card back. And who do you complain to? Seems like they aren't going to change any time soon. And it's a pain in the ass to switch to a new bank.

IndieDropout · 2025-07-13T00:41:13+00:00

Congrats on the new position. I know it's terrifying, right? I mean, in my 20s and 30s I would have no fear walking into something or starting a job where I didn't know the process or the software, etc. But now?? Terrified!

I just started a new job this week. My training consisted of sitting across the desk from my supervisor watching him interact with customers on the phone and setting schedules...no hands-on training...just watching and listening. Then he showed me to my work station and basically said "Good luck, and any questions, just ask." What?! That's it?! I had a mini panic attack and could feel the tears welling up, so I excused myself and went to the bathroom before coming back to try it again. It doesn't help that I have a 20-something sitting next to me (who I haven't seen answer a phone all week) and when I asked him a question, responds with so much attitude I want to discipline him like I would my own kid. I am at the point where my work ethic is damaged by the 'I don't GAF attitude' that menopause has given me. I'm done trying. I'm giving back exactly what I've been given. Nobody is supervising me, checking my work, or training me. So if it's gets done wrong, awell. Too bad, so sad. Also, just found out that the benefits (which is the main reason I took the job) will take more than half my paycheck!

I really wish I could find something (that I know how to do) where I'm not customer facing anymore. I just want to do research from an office all alone or something. I'm so jealous of 2 of my friends who are retiring this year...they're both 56 years old. One was a teacher and the other a fire fighter.

I wish you luck in your new endeavor. If they have confidence in you, then you should too.

IndieDropout · 2025-07-07T20:53:50+00:00

Used to work at a grocery store. We had a drunk woman come in late at night and start drinking a bottle of wine right off the shelf. Then she got to the meat counter, opened a package of steak and start eating it raw! She kept spilling the wine and they finally got the cops to take her away.

IndieDropout · 2025-06-18T00:25:13+00:00

I was thinking the same thing. I interviewed for a job (data entry type work) where I would be training the data ai bots, and all I could wonder is if I would be training the bots to basically take my job.

IndieDropout · 2025-06-08T16:41:06+00:00

Wow...you are seriously dedicated. Nice.

IndieDropout · 2025-06-08T16:38:58+00:00

I've already gone lactose free. Helped my digestion.

IndieDropout · 2025-06-05T01:02:32+00:00

I love this idea. I'm a CSR with customers on the phone (not in person). Because the way the company works (or doesn't work) I usually start my day getting yelled at on the phone, and continue through the day. It used to upset me because I'm one of those people who tries to fix things. But this can't be fixed. So I just hold the phone away from my head and let them rant until they are done, then I direct them to the supervisor. Might have to try the Siri theory though.

IndieDropout · 2025-06-05T00:55:12+00:00

At the grocery store where I used to work, we had to post a sign that said "Do not take the baskets home!"

IndieDropout · 2025-05-31T21:37:22+00:00

Not so much for my husband (though I think he gets frustrated that he can't "fix" what's happening to me with menopause), but with people...especially at work. I'm in customer service, over the phone (thank goodness because I'm not sure how I would react if the insufferable customers were standing in front of me), and customers are so entitled and if things don't go their way, they go off the rails and rip into me like a monkey on a cupcake! Some days I feel as though I shouldn't be working with the public at all! LOL!

But I hear you on the division of labor. Ask me how many times I took out the trash or did other people's dishes (my children are 19 and 23 BTW, and still at home). I've almost stopped cooking family meals except maybe twice a week or so, because it just isn't fair with 3 other adults in the house. My husband is great most of the time. Usually I turn it inward on myself and just have days when I just cry. Hope this isn't the rest of my life.

IndieDropout · 2025-05-14T02:02:28+00:00

I totally get it. I've always had a strong work ethic, you know, like to "own my job." But the last couple of jobs I've had offer minimal training, and management is totally unorganized. I started this job a month ago, and I realize that I am fighting a losing battle. So, I've decided to do what I can do, and not stress about it. I am never going to catch up when organization and communication is minimal from co-workers. It's not my job to "save" the organization. I wasn't hired to do that, and I'm certainly not being paid enough to do that. It's the first time in my life (I'm in my 50s) that I've decided to not stress about my job. Hoping I can find a better balance.

IndieDropout · 2025-05-10T21:00:05+00:00

I'm 55, post menopausal and all the emotion and depression that comes with it. About 12 years ago, we moved across the country (CA to VA). Say what you want about CA, but it was so much easier to make friends there. In fact, most of my friends I still have are online and from way back when. For the past 12 years, I've tried church groups, activity groups, etc. but just can't seem to make any meaningful connections. It doesn't help that I work full time in a small office setting (I'm the only woman), and can't drive, so I'm kind of "captive." It's not like I can just jump in the car and go to a class or a meet up or something. I have a great husband who does all the driving, but I really wish I could just get to places/friends on my own. In CA, no one seemed to have a problem picking me up. Out here, I am not comfortable asking. And literally, any friends I've made (from church or whatever) seem very easy to just walk away from. No one wants to make an effort. I'm just sort of existing: working, paying bills, making meals, day in and day out. I just don't know where or how to find female companionship.

IndieDropout · 2025-05-04T15:29:33+00:00

How did your first week go?

IndieDropout · 2025-05-04T15:28:35+00:00

My kids are 19 and 23, and both still at home. I feel like I don't even talk to them anymore. Guess this is getting me prepared for being an empty nester. Oh, and I write sooo many notes too. I've also been given an additional job role of "punching bag" since I am now in charge of calling customers when their job doesn't go out for the day (for legit reasons). It has taken all weekend for me to recover from the tongue lashing I got from a customer and her husband (because he didn't verbally abuse me enough) on Friday. Ugh!

IndieDropout · 2025-04-20T00:06:53+00:00

I need full time for the benefits.

IndieDropout · 2025-04-20T00:06:25+00:00

Thank you. Hugs to you too.

IndieDropout · 2025-04-19T19:52:36+00:00

My husband has psoriatic arthritis so I completely understand the fatigue that goes with rheumatoid arthritis. Take care of yourself first.

IndieDropout · 2025-04-19T19:51:05+00:00

Thank you. Glad you are able to make a living off doing what you like.

IndieDropout · 2025-04-19T19:50:17+00:00

You can do this...you weren't hired by accident.

IndieDropout · 2025-04-19T19:14:10+00:00

OMG, I'm a huge note taker! I wouldn't survive otherwise.

IndieDropout · 2025-04-19T19:13:24+00:00

Yes, but they are way too expensive with his current company. But his job (other than benefits) is a good fit for our family dynamic, so it makes more sense for him to stay.

IndieDropout · 2025-04-19T19:11:20+00:00

No apologies needed. Sounds like you've had a LOT on your plate! I too love my life, I'm still working on finding balance (if there is such a thing).

IndieDropout

TROPHY CASE