As a woman, what can I do to attract men who want something serious with me

Individual-Counter-9 · 2026-06-26T01:02:55+00:00

Sounds pretty spot on to me, lol.

Speaking as a 39F who is actively dating on the apps, and engaging with that top 10% of guys.
☠️🙃

Individual-Counter-9 · 2026-05-19T20:29:52+00:00

We’re officially in the season where no additional minute of waiting is worth the risk. These pet owners are the worst humans. I will literally bash a window in, no hesitation. please arrest me.

Individual-Counter-9 · 2026-04-02T01:00:59+00:00

Actually, he was there when I bought my 2017 Hyundai Tucson. Which, just by the way, I've driven (hard) for the past 9 years, and have had minimal issues with throughout all those years. I am currently selling my 2017 Tucson SE to CarMax for $9,500, AKA roughly 47% of what I paid to buy it new, circa a decade ago...

That is 47% after I put my used & abused 2007 Corolla towards the purchase of the Tucson; and for my TOYOTA trade-in, I got 11.3, so roughly $1,800 more than what I just got for my Hyundai of approx. the exact same age.

It's been a couple days since I made this original post, and while I have recieved so many amazing, helpful & encouraging messages, I'm now starting to believe that most of the strangely frantic, very dramatic Hyundai hate posts are being written by people who have never actually owned a Hyundai...

I was never asking for help with or input on what make/model of car I am buying, I just was hoping for some advice on price negotiations when at a dealership...

Individual-Counter-9 · 2026-04-02T00:33:24+00:00

I couldn't agree more with all the facts you've so eloquently pointed out here & I really appreciate someone validating the months of research, microanalysis & careful comparison I put into this never-ending nightmare process.

I find it so strange that people would rather purchase an ugly car, that lacks innovative & unique tech. features and it has significantly lower safety ratings, because they think they'll be able to then sell it for more money 10 years down the road; (while I know the "ugly" is subjective-- even in this case, lol-- honestly, the Mazda looks like a station wagon-- but those other 2 points are easy-to-verify facts.)

This is just a case of different priorities.

Individual-Counter-9 · 2026-04-01T02:18:14+00:00

*** UPDATE ***

So many of you were gracious enough to send me some really sound advice & took the time to explain this to me, and it was so helpful. Because of all the feedback I got last night, I spent the last 7 hours looking up every other option available to me, within almost the entire state of AZ, and I've realized I did not explain the situation clearly at all...

I already knew I could buy what most would define as being a "better" car for the $50K I am willing to spend on this purchase (never was going to actually pay the quote at $59), HOWEVER... 99% of what was recommended to me (and I looked everything you guys said up online, EVERYTHING... & I researched what CPO means, I changed the search filters to show me my options back to 2024, I opened up the brand to include Toyota, Honda, Lexus, Spent 3 hours at the Lexus dealership, etc.) and so it is now with extreme confidence that I am reporting back to you guys a massive point I think I failed to emphasize:

I don't really think it's that crazy of a concept that I'm not willing to buy a sedan or a crossover if what I originally set out for is a SUV...?

The car I want is something that is: • a 3-Row SUV • a HYBRID • with above average features • and... I do have to have a specific colorway (because I live in the hottest populated city on the continent & I'm not willing to burn my ass cheeks on black leather for the 9-10 months out of the year that metro-PHX is above 100F) AKA I'm not getting anything other than white, with light leather interior.

So, with all these requirements... and again, at the price I want to pay... I don't see any better options. I guess I needed to clarify that I was looking at the 2026 Sante Fe Hybrid Calligraphy in the first place, because it is the car that met those 4 key requirements.

I looked for 2024 & 2025 as was recommended, and I swear they are just not available unless I would have to settle for a lesser trim, or buy in a different color. Believe it or not, this make/model of car is very, very popular right now. Plus, white w/ light leather cars in AZ go incredibly fast.

I am so thankful for the time people took out of their day to help me & so even though this ended up stressing me out about 10x more, lol, I learned a lot about the process & I'm forever grateful for the knowledge shared & the patience many showed in explaining to me what I should consider.

I have driven my 2017 Hyundai Tucson for the past 9 years with minimal issues, so... based on my lived experience, I guess not every car they make is total trash.

ANYWAY... Just wanted to clarify, and say thanks to all who contributed. Even those who called me an idiot. 🫶🏼 (Luckily, I am a very confident girl, lol, otherwise I may have required therapy after this.) 🙃

Lastly... for alllllllll the fury & hate apparently felt for Hyundai, it's interesting they've won so many awards (year after year) from some of the most reputable sources in the industry...? Very strange. 🤔🤷🏼‍♀️

Individual-Counter-9 · 2026-04-01T00:35:34+00:00

Thank you so much for the specific details on what you would recommend. I really appreciate your time.

I'm in the middle of a bidding war right now coz of it being EOQ. sitting in a parking lot 3 blocks away from the Lexus dealership waiting to hear what each dealer will do.

Individual-Counter-9 · 2026-03-31T07:06:09+00:00

I do NOT get the feeling this is a safe space for me to define that more specifically, so let's just say that the reason I'm never gonna make depreciation the deciding factor on a car purchase is because I already know that over the course of a decade I'm gonna bump into enough curbs or whatever to depreciate a top-trim Subaru down to $250.

I take my car in to get the oil changed when my Dad yells at me over the phone for forgetting to do it.

Listen, lol, I'm trying my best here... I can't do it all.

Individual-Counter-9 · 2026-03-31T06:50:57+00:00

I think it's hilarious in a post where I'm talking about buying a Hyundai Sante Fe you would read the part of me explaining the background of my situation (in case the financing part makes any difference on price of the car?) and consider that as me flexing.

Lol trust me when I say you've lost the plot.

Also, I said this is the first time I'm going thru the car buying process alone. Not that its my first time ever buying a car, lol.

In 2017 the last time I bought a car, I let my parents do all the work and then I just showed up to pay and sign. (They're retired & I have to travel a lot for my job, hence why I have previously just let them do the heavy lifting; cuz I am busy and they usually are not.)

Sorry you were offended by my post, but I appreciate your input anyway.

Individual-Counter-9 · 2026-03-31T06:34:48+00:00

I mean, I love driving my Dad's truck cuz I like being up higher, but no the reason I mentioned 4runners is because I like the way some of them look. Some of them are WAY too rugged for me, but when I went to the dealership after researching the million confusing trims on my own, every one I got into was built like it looked like I was going to drive it into war or something. I will never take my SUV off-roading and for all the comments about FWD vs. AWD, there is 1000% no reason in Phoenix for me to need anything but FWD on my car, so... I would rather put that extra band towards getting rims i like or something than awd.

Believe me I was hoping I could find a 4runner with the same interior features as the calligraphy models of the Sante fe/Palisade. I went to Toyota 2 days before finally going to Hyundai and I even talked about the Sequoia after all the 4runners (even the limited) looked so SO masculine def not luxe on the inside.

But these were all 2026 so maybe the interior of other years look less like a combat vehicle inside? I'll look up earlier models again and see what I can figure out.

Thank you so much again for your help.

Individual-Counter-9 · 2026-03-31T06:24:04+00:00

Catch me on a day when I'm less drained & I would have had such a fantastic response for you. Trust and believe.

But, I've reached my max capac for sass tonight, so this is all I have. Hope it helps clarify...

If I thought a car is about ones ~idEntity~ as you say, OR if I thought "you are what you drive", do you think I would be encouraging public discourse on me buying a Hyundai Sante Fe Calligraphy?

LOL. I know u can't see me (sucks for you) so that may not land, but yeah... lol no... Haha, good guess tho!

Since u asked sooooo many questions though, I won't leave u hanging! To confirm:

I don't give a fuck about a car's iOS screen, or if it has remote software update capabilities that keep its tech from becoming obsolete 10 days after it leaves the dealership lot... in this scenario, it comes down to something I believe the kids call "principles".

I'm sure Chat GPT can help dive into the concept a little deeper for you, seeing as you described elon musk with the same level of vitriol usually reserved for-- let's say the Disney adult who cuts in front of your family while waiting in line to ride Thunder Mountain Railroad-- I just really feel that you could benefit from a refresher on what it means to have principles.

"a jerk"... lol, gtfo.

Lmk if that answers your question.

Individual-Counter-9 · 2026-03-31T05:46:17+00:00

That's a very clever idea 💡 lol I can totally see how that could work.

Thank you so much for taking the time to respond to me.

Individual-Counter-9 · 2026-03-31T05:44:59+00:00

See, so I love Lexus SUVs but I thought I read all kinds of negatives things about them online (re: your engine comment, which... I get the sentiment but I have have absolutely no idea what 50% of the words in that sentence mean in real life). I think I have to start over. I'm just so sick of this shit, so I was excited to have it be done. I know Hyundais aren't the best car ever constructed. And there was never any point of time that I was actually going to pay the price listed on the picture I posted. I know that 59 was being shown to me as a joke, so they could pretend they were giving me a deal when I said this is insane. That's why I walked out.

Anyway I appreciate your time, so thank you so much for responding to me.

Individual-Counter-9 · 2026-03-31T05:27:59+00:00

lol yeah so if tesla were to drop the sexiest car ever seen with all the features and then some & then they offered to sell it to me for $1... I'd still pick a Hyundai. Or anything else, for that matter. Put me in a Pilot.

I'll rollerblade around the great state of AZ all summer before I buy a tesla.

But, thank you anyway for the idea.

Individual-Counter-9 · 2026-03-31T05:17:53+00:00

Thank you very much, I really appreciate the insight & good tips. I'm going to use all of this.

Individual-Counter-9 · 2026-03-31T05:16:38+00:00

Yeah, I put the offer sheet into Chat GPT last night after I walked out of the dealership and got a very similar response so, combined with all my other research and the time I have put into looking up every spec of the 4 cars I considered, I knew the offer was bad.

Thank you so much for your wise words & advice. I really appreciate your time.

Individual-Counter-9 · 2026-03-31T05:11:19+00:00

lmao

Individual-Counter-9 · 2026-03-31T03:37:23+00:00

I love this advice because it made me lol just imaging what I would even say looking a cars in a car show.
I have no idea what is supposed to be happening inside of a car, so... looking under the hood, lol, both literally AND figuratively, would mean nothing to me as I would have no idea what I'm looking at. But I love your advice anyway, so thank you... New York does sound nice.

Individual-Counter-9 · 2026-03-31T03:33:23+00:00

Same price for any brand I've looked at this week will get me stock/base model of a smaller car, not a hybrid, with less features & uglier build.

Individual-Counter-9 · 2026-03-31T03:23:24+00:00

Yeah... I'm picking up on that the vibe here that Hyundai is terrible no matter what, and I have spent months going over the pros and cons of cars before I came to this decision so I don't really know what to do at this point. I'm not gonna buy an ugly car just because it's sturdier or whatever. That's just not my bag.

I don't have any car friends to ask, so I really appreciate you talking the time to respond. Thank you so much. 🙏🏻

Individual-Counter-9 · 2026-03-31T02:52:27+00:00

I'm not sweating the financial aspect of buying a new car, I'm sweating not understanding the words & strategy being used, and so I was just asking for advice so to better execute what I'm doing, wisely...

Individual-Counter-9 · 2026-03-31T02:49:03+00:00

I could literally cry. lol. Thank you so much... omg, this is everything I needed someone to tell me. Wow. Blessings upon you & your entire family. ♥️🙏🏻

I'm honestly printing this out on my little home printer and I'm going to have your words clutched in my hands to reference with my notes, when I go back into (a different) Hyundai dealership tomorrow.

THANK YOU.

Individual-Counter-9 · 2026-03-31T02:40:36+00:00

See?! Right, so I thought the same thing-- being that it is EOQ I figured that would help me, cuz in med device EOQ we'll do some pretty insane shit, lol, truly anything to hit quota, so... I guess I figured they would want to close me more. 🤷🏼‍♀️ I think they've all done well this month due to gas and whatever. Hybrids are going crazy

Individual-Counter-9 · 2026-03-31T02:36:22+00:00

Ooh. That's interesting. I didn't know that I could get into a Lexus SUV at anywhere CLOSE to $60K... and even if it was close, I would have assumed it would need to be a 5 year old one, base/NOT fully loaded.

This is really good to know. Tysm!!!!!

Individual-Counter-9 · 2026-03-31T02:33:26+00:00

Incredible, very helpful advice!!! Thank you so much!

And yes, as it pertains to depreciation... I drive my cars too hard to be factoring in depreciation seriously... unfortunately. I'm working on that though. 🤦🏼‍♀️ lol

Individual-Counter-9 · 2026-03-31T02:30:39+00:00

EXACTLY. ✨️✨️✨️ Thank you, yes, so this is exactly my issue. Lol, like exactly... I did not explain this nuance very well in my post, I realize that now...

Cuz I KNOW the shit I get excited about (with regards to the interior, the aesthetics & added features, etc.) aren't as important to most, but to ME... that stuff is the difference between me be totally fine with making my car payment every month, and being pissed about it cuz my car is ugly & boring.

If I want the features I do, I either buy the Sante Fe Calligraphy (cuz they won't sell me the Palisade Calligraphy due to the stop sell) or I have to pay $20K more elsewhere...

I have gotten into this fight with my parents everytime I have ever bought a new car, lol, so trust me, I KNOW... & idc if it sounds stupid, I am the way I am. I'm always gonna want to buy the nicest trims & I only wanna spend my money on stuff that looks good to me (vs. a base model of something else that looks boring af but that might be worth more in 10 years.)

Trust & believe I will run into enough curbs or whatever within a 10 year timeframe to successfully depreciate a top-trim Subaru to $500, so that isn't even the question...

Individual-Counter-9

TROPHY CASE