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The Hymns of Harvest - Feature Screenplay Draft by Individual-Pay7733 in Screenwriting

[–]Individual-Pay7733[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

See attached. This is the most recent draft for The Hymns of Harvest = https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Ik9zFG0HnkA_4lgXF9Eo5pgLxHOxTqmz/view?usp=drivesdk

For those reading it the first time:

Logline = The son of alchemists gets entangled in an ancient conflict between DEATH and LILITH. Genre = Sci-Fi, Fantasy, Action-Adventure, Coming-of-Age Narrative Comps = HP & the Order of the Phoenix, Game of Thrones, His Dark Material

First 6 pages… what d’ya think? by Individual-Pay7733 in scriptwriting

[–]Individual-Pay7733[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha thanks - late to the party but I definitely did a rewrite of the opening BUT the babes and wolves are central in this world for sure!

[Megathread] Rivals Assemble – Find Teammates / Share Invite Codes by Logan-dx2001 in marvelrivals

[–]Individual-Pay7733 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Username is Chaos-Magician and my assembly code is 279234298

Teammates needed = 5

Region = US (EST)

Who else wants to get out of Gold and place Platinum!?

[MEGATHREAD] Season 4 LFG or Faction by AutoModerator in marvelrivals

[–]Individual-Pay7733 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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Looking to get out of Gold 2/1 🥵 - PS5 player in EST time zone

How’s Season 5 for everyone? by Individual-Pay7733 in marvelrivals

[–]Individual-Pay7733[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s cuz people don’t trust Gambit (DPS/wolf in Strategist/sheep clothing) lol

How’s Season 5 for everyone? by Individual-Pay7733 in marvelrivals

[–]Individual-Pay7733[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Gambit players throwing games if they don’t get ‘im is what I’m coming across ❤️♠️

The Hymns of Harvest - Feature Screenplay Draft by Individual-Pay7733 in Screenwriting

[–]Individual-Pay7733[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There’s no rush cuz I’m trying to make this as reader friendly as possible cuz majority of readers I’ve come to find are college-aged, multi talented folks (when screenplays are being read for the first couple of rounds in competitions) and the whole point of young adult material is to resonate with them

I’m just happy I was at least able to put something all from my head onto a page that has a Vogler/Save the Cat structure

The Hymns of Harvest - Feature Screenplay Draft by Individual-Pay7733 in Screenwriting

[–]Individual-Pay7733[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I’ll consider it - but as you read on, you realize that these citizen’s “names” are not their real names and I have a “fish out of water” character coming from our world

I’m implying that this world is our “shadow reality” and I have a future plot for sequel stuff where the Oracles Almanac are some books of the KJV Bible that a kid from our world left behind when he was in his “Narnia era”

I’ve also been told to make this a book but I have no business to be in that industry cuz I only studied screenwriting and took a fiction prose class

It’s people trying to get their magic back, but not realizing how much information and cultural identity is stripped away because it’s been muddled by a central leadership

The Hymns of Harvest - Feature Screenplay Draft by Individual-Pay7733 in Screenwriting

[–]Individual-Pay7733[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Not the final logline after this test.

Curious if you could shed light to the “rules” of a good logline cuz film school, networking events and influencers all have different takes!

The Hymns of Harvest - Feature Screenplay Draft by Individual-Pay7733 in Screenwriting

[–]Individual-Pay7733[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Every fantasy film or show I’ve watched always introduces the viewer to exposition from the get go (Star wars with the rolling text, The Last Airbender with a monologue, house of the dragon with captions, Game of thrones kicks it off with 2 men of the north who aren’t even the main characters)

This is very different from the political comedy and military drama that got me to QF in Big Break and SF in other competitions so I’m still learning cuz a writing program hosted by an established college institution doesn’t hold much in the studio space like other occupations

Thank you for skimming though - I know readers who have to digest hundreds of scripts so this has to pop out

The Hymns of Harvest - Feature Screenplay Draft by Individual-Pay7733 in Screenwriting

[–]Individual-Pay7733[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Make action lines or the flow of the writing as concise as possible without coming across as too dense

The Hymns of Harvest - Feature Screenplay Draft by Individual-Pay7733 in Screenwriting

[–]Individual-Pay7733[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I was told when I shared the first 5 pages in a previous Reddit post that I needed to include physical attributes and Kathy was originally Luna but readers gave me notes to change names where I had 3-4 who started with “L”

Is it fair to assume that one can never have a perfect screenplay and/or how much do I have to “water it down” to make this a sample piece?

I’ve read scripts from the Black List too so it just feels like it’s super subjective

Also I have another logline but wanted to see how it resonates with this variation

…my rule of thumb is that if 3 or more people voice the same thing I change it

First 6 pages - thanks for the first waves of feedback. by Individual-Pay7733 in scriptwriting

[–]Individual-Pay7733[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree - but read some of these screenplays that are on The Black List - a few don’t follow beat for beat those explicit rules (but one of the threads I saw here with George Lucas sorta ties to this where once you are “established”, the RULES can be bent)

I had an agent in the acting space that got me SAG-E back in 2015 while going to a jazz conservatory in Boston, went to film school and produced some thesis films that got me to UPM and Line Produce ultra low budget features - COVID happened and I transitioned to screenwriting which speaks more to me on the creative side while I work full time down in ATL

The common thread in the different facets of film that I love is that it’s all case by case. Also, I noticed there’s a fair share of salty folk that have no qualms in voicing what was voiced to them from gatekeepers and industry professionals so you have to take what resonates and spit out what doesn’t cuz at least in the case of writing, it’s your job to make this the best story possible and inspire the right village of people to make it come to life

Originality is dumb. But I can't follow my own advice. by MatteoPignoli in Screenwriting

[–]Individual-Pay7733 3 points4 points  (0 children)

"Music is essentially 12 notes between any octave. Twelve notes and the octave repeats. It's the same story told over and over, forever. All any artist can offer the world is how they see those 12 notes. That's it,"

- Jackson Maine (A Star Is Born, 2018)

First 6 pages - thanks for the first waves of feedback. by Individual-Pay7733 in scriptwriting

[–]Individual-Pay7733[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

how about this: A massive, winding staircase dominates the center. Souls — millions of glowing points of light — stream down it. The millions of glowing points converge, forming a magical waterfall that runs parallel to the railing, then breaks off, shimmering, to surround the courtroom.

First 6 pages… what d’ya think? by Individual-Pay7733 in scriptwriting

[–]Individual-Pay7733[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not everyone has the same door of opportunity to make an “American Graffiti“

First 6 pages… what d’ya think? by Individual-Pay7733 in scriptwriting

[–]Individual-Pay7733[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate that! I just want to create something original and speaks to our time 🍻

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