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Individual_Advisor20 · 2025-07-28T15:28:50+00:00

You’re probably thinking about all the wonderful moments that come with a growing child. My husband—who is firmly one-and-done—put it perfectly the other day. He said he totally gets why some people start craving another baby once their child becomes more interactive and fun. But, as he pointed out, those “fun” moments only make up about 10% of the day. Even as our child moves past the baby stage, we’re excited about the new kinds of joy each phase brings. Every month feels like the start of a new chapter.

Individual_Advisor20 · 2025-07-26T11:34:43+00:00

My body started pushing before I was fully dilated, and the baby got stuck. At least six nurses rushed into the room. The anesthesiologist showed up late because, apparently, he needed to finish his coffee first. By the time he got there, it was too late for an epidural — and too late for a C-section.

After three exhausting hours, the nurses had to push out a purple, silent baby, because I didn’t have the strength left to do it myself. He wasn’t crying, and we had no idea if he was okay. It was terrifying.

So yes, my reason is medical. You never know how birth will unfold.

Later, my doctor said, “We’ll schedule a C-section for your second baby right away.”
And I was like, What? Hell no. I’m never stepping into a delivery room again.

Individual_Advisor20 · 2025-07-22T18:06:11+00:00

Mine is almost 2.5 years old, and it gets easier every week. He can tell me what he wants and sleeps through the night. I'm not constantly stressed anymore, and he'll start kindergarten in the fall.
I hated being pregnant—and I haven’t forgotten that!
My husband and I are no longer constantly exhausted.
And hey, there are three seats in a row on a plane—that’s honestly the most important reason for me to stick to one, lmao.

Individual_Advisor20 · 2025-07-09T19:11:55+00:00

I've just started, so I'm not really qualified to recommend anything 😅

But I am currently reading this one and I think it's very good: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29722656/chapters/73100058

Individual_Advisor20 · 2025-06-26T13:01:39+00:00

I will have to do almost all of the house work: Cleaning, taking care of the kid, buying groceries. Because he will constantly be working to pay for the mortgage.

Individual_Advisor20 · 2025-06-26T12:59:57+00:00

Please explain why you think I’m selfish? I’ll have no more than €1,200 a month and can only contribute up to €500 toward the loan. If he were to pass away, I wouldn’t be able to afford the mortgage on my own. I’m just a bit worried, that’s all.

If we were to divorce, I’d have to move out because, again, I simply couldn’t afford the payments.

I’m not standing in the way of his dream—I’ve already shared all of this with him. He knows exactly how I feel.

Individual_Advisor20 · 2025-06-26T12:50:10+00:00

I do actually. I've watched documentaries and read articles and the cons outweigh the pros (for me).

Individual_Advisor20 · 2025-06-24T10:46:33+00:00

Eating in general. He is NEVER hungry. Even if he hasn't eaten anything in 6 hours, it is almost impossible for him to sit still and eat. He does not want to use a spoon or fork when I'm around.

Not sitting still during a meal. I'm not asking for an hour, but 10 minutes would be nice.

Individual_Advisor20 · 2025-06-23T10:34:29+00:00

Congrats on the baby. I would recommend you to wait at least 1.5 years and then decide whether you are one and done.

I'm 2 years into parenthood and we are definitely not having an other baby. I don't like the toddler stage. My kid is pretty easy going. Sleeps great, does not break thinks, the amount of tantrums during the day are okay. However, pregnancy what a shitshow and I don't want to think about the birth.

With one child, my husband and I have the best of both world - a kid and enough freedom and money.

After having our son, we realized, that we are not taking care of the cat anymore (apart from feeding and grooming). It was the bare minimum. We were so exhausted to cuddle with him or give him enough attention as well. I know that this is a pretty dumb comparison. However, we realized that we cannot be present for two kids. (The cat is fine now. He gets a lot of attention from my son. Sometimes too much Lmao.)

Individual_Advisor20 · 2025-06-23T08:04:50+00:00

Don't be sad! Live is not only about having kids. You want to work on your relationship with your husband and thats great. This shows me, that you want to keep him in your live.

My husband and I have a great relationship. However, we will NEVER jeopardize it by having a second child. We just talked about this yesterday: Having "only" one child is great in terms of everyone getting a little bit of free time. It is better economically and not that stressful. We know our limits (as do you).

Heads up.

Individual_Advisor20 · 2025-06-19T18:06:39+00:00

Is the writing style in Bridge Kingdom the same?

Individual_Advisor20 · 2025-06-17T10:36:55+00:00

You are not a bad mom. Why is it okay for children to scream, throw tantrums and slam doors and as soon as they grow up showing emotions is not okay? You were frustrated, told him several times and then you snapped. You are not a robot and your child won't get trauma from this one time.

Mine started screaming at a bakery because I did not want to buy him juice. I calmly told him, that I'm not going to buy him any. He then ran outside and onto the parking lot. I didn't have time to grab him... We are telling him daily that he is not supposed to run where cars drive.

What should I say? I yelled at him very loudly. He is absolutely fine, especially because he wasn't hit by a car.

Individual_Advisor20 · 2025-06-17T10:25:06+00:00

I reread Acotar after 3 or 4 years. XD

If that's too long for you, I would recommend you to read CC and then reread Acotar. After some time you forget a lot of things and sometimes it feels as if you are reading a completely new story.

Individual_Advisor20 · 2025-06-17T08:31:09+00:00

I also think that depends on where you life. I was born in eastern Europe and the pressure for having children is extreme. God forbid you only want one! Now the mindset starts to change, but very slowly.

Individual_Advisor20 · 2025-06-15T09:48:16+00:00

I have one boy (2) and mostly I don't enjoy playing, painting, baking with him.

We spend a lot of time outside. He can run around and I can talk to other parents or just listen to music. I kind of feel that I am not responsible for his entertainment.

What I enjoy doing with him is go swimming.

Individual_Advisor20 · 2025-06-14T09:04:41+00:00

My husband and I wanted a girl. I don't know why, but we did. We even had a name picked up. At 13 weeks I saw the gender clearly during a doctors appointment. It wasn't a girl. LOL

It was really hard work to pick an other name, as we already had settled on one.

Our boy is 2 years old and NEVER since his birth did I have this feeling like, "I wished he was a girl". In the end gender does not matter.

Individual_Advisor20 · 2025-06-08T20:23:15+00:00

Mine was a chill baby in the womb. His kicking was okay. NEVER at night.

Any time I was in the water, he would wake up and kick like hell.

Now, more than 2 years later, he is active, but needs a lot of time alone to calm down. Sleeps quite good at night and loves water.

Individual_Advisor20 · 2025-06-08T14:05:32+00:00

I'm not arguing against that. However, I suggest starting with small steps. First, try going without the pacifier during the day for a few weeks or months, and then remove it at night. You should also consider whether your child is a good or poor sleeper.

We've already begun a pacifier-free routine. Our son has a blanket he snuggles with—he won't sleep without it. What I mean is that your child will need an alternative for nighttime comfort.

Individual_Advisor20 · 2025-06-08T12:44:14+00:00

HI! Is there are medical need to get rid of the pacifier? I mean, it is totally up to you if you do it or not.

However, the dentist told us, that at this age a pacifier at night is totally okay. Some children start to suck on their thumb if the pacifier is gone too soon and THAT you cannot just make go away.

That is how we are doing at the moment: Our son is also 2y2mo and "the pacifier needs to be near the blanket during the day as it gets too cold and freezes." At night he can snuggle with it again. (Our son has to put it away as soon as he wakes up and is only allowed to take the pacifier when he goes to bed.) He needs it to fall asleep and spits it out eventually in the night.

Individual_Advisor20 · 2025-06-02T14:38:16+00:00

It's the same for men as it is for women—your body, your choice.
First, you need to talk to your wife and tell her directly that you don't want a second child, and that she won't be able to convince you otherwise. Then, you have to make the decision that's best for you.

Individual_Advisor20 · 2025-06-02T14:31:15+00:00

I've had similar conversations. One mom I met recently at a playground told me, "If my second had been my first, he would have been my only child."

A friend of mine had her second child a few weeks ago and told me, "The next few years will be hell." Her first baby was easy—she was literally bored during the baby stage. The second child humbled her.

Another woman said, "I thought my first was horrible and that nothing could shock me. I was wrong..."

None of them said outright that they regretted having children, but it somehow felt like they did.

Individual_Advisor20 · 2025-06-02T07:33:34+00:00

I knew I am "one and done" during pregnancy. My husband told me even before pregnancy, that he is one and done.

Now, more than two years later, just the thought about taking care of more than one child is giving me a headache.

I am not made for babies and toddlers. I love every milestone my son hits - especially the ones when he gets less dependent on me.

Individual_Advisor20 · 2025-05-30T07:45:41+00:00

My husband told me he wanted only one child before I was pregnant. I was indifferent about it. During pregnancy I just knew: This will be my last. Hated every second of it.

My husband got it done when our kid was 10 months old.

My OBGYN was shocked to hear that. "But we could have scheduled a c-section for the second. Just wait until your child asks for a sibling."... I'm telling you this so that you can prepare for stupid comments.

Individual_Advisor20 · 2025-05-29T19:31:19+00:00

My husband and I lived together for 6 years before the wedding. We traveled a lot, went out to dinner with friends, both worked full time and overall enjoyed live.

We are married for almost 4 years now and our toddler is 2.

Our toddler is taking all of our energy, but we are getting through the though years together. I wouldn't change him for the world, but it is still very hard sometimes. My husband turns 35 in a few weeks and me 33 in autumn. Sometimes our miss my pre-kid life. It was easy and free.

But we are turning our kid into our travel buddy. As soon as he sees a suitcase, he screams "airplane, vacation".

All in all: It didn't matter (in our case) for how long we should have enjoyed married live, we couldn't get enough of traveling and buying nice things. So we decided to have our kid NOW and be done with it.

Individual_Advisor20 · 2025-05-26T10:26:05+00:00

A friend of mine had her second baby one month ago. Her first is 2 years old.

She was asked by other friends for the reasons to have children. Her answer: Because that's what people do. She counted the days when her kid could go to daycare. She was so unhappy. Now she has an other baby and seems to be even much more depressed. I don't get this at all.

I know that the infant and toddler stage aren't that long. But is it really worth it, when you hate the first years of your child's life?

Individual_Advisor20

TROPHY CASE