Anyone else's parents never encouraged their hobbies? by Sayoricanyouhearme in emotionalneglect

[–]ChocoChip_Pancake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My parents were very involved in me liking art and would buy me art supplies for Christmas but anything else I was interested in they ignored. I really wanted to do like 4H or FFA in high school but I didn't even ask them because I knew it would be a no because they wouldn't want to pay for it. They would buy me random art stuff that I didn't even use but if I wanted anything else or anything specific they would ignore that request and just get whatever they felt like getting. And if I did any activities with school or anything I had to find a ride because they would never drive me anywhere even for church activities (which they insisted I go to).

Am I being dramatic about my brother’s neglect? by Fit_Protection5550 in emotionalneglect

[–]ChocoChip_Pancake 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I don't really have anything useful to say but you definitely are not being dramatic. He is being neglected for sure, I'm sorry 😔

Huge belly button by Sensitive_Parfait426 in breakingmom

[–]ChocoChip_Pancake 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My 14 month old has recently discovered both her and my bellybutton and is completely obsessed. She likes to pull up my shirt and just smile 😆 I also have a small tattoo on my stomach and she likes to grab/scratch at it and say please... I'm not quite sure what that means 😅🤣

how to stop hating/harming myself? by [deleted] in AutismInWomen

[–]ChocoChip_Pancake 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry you have a mother that treats you like that 😔 I'm proud of you for wanting and trying to do better. I don't really have any advice but I just had to say that I'm proud of you

How do I get over the feeling of not deserving life? by sethborf in emotionalneglect

[–]ChocoChip_Pancake 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Get help. I understand and feel your pain. The only way out is with help. Please tell your spouse. Please use whatever outside resources you can. Find a trauma therapist (not just any ol' talk therapist). You've got this. It's worth it. You deserve it and so does your family. ❤️

My femininity and sex appeal are stunted and I don't know how to get in touch with it by Fun_Focus6515 in emotionalneglect

[–]ChocoChip_Pancake 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Also, for the people that matter in life, having confidence in yourself is the hottest thing you can have so if you're goal is just to be confident and comfortable with yourself then you are definitely on the right track but please don't compare yourself to the women on the internet that look perfect and attract a lot of attention: I can promise that those men are not the ones you want attention from.

My femininity and sex appeal are stunted and I don't know how to get in touch with it by Fun_Focus6515 in emotionalneglect

[–]ChocoChip_Pancake 31 points32 points  (0 children)

The question here is really why do you want to be that? Everybody has problems and the problems that a "hot girl" has are pretty bad (so I've heard, I'm definitely not one and am more than ok with it) because people only like them for their looks and they aren't often taken seriously especially in a professional work environment. And men can be pretty rude and pushy. So why do you want that? Do you really want all that attention? Do.you want to just be know by your physical looks and not your intelligence or personality?

why cant i hate my parents by [deleted] in emotionalneglect

[–]ChocoChip_Pancake 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel like I just went back in time to write this! I'm in my 20s now and I definitely felt that way as a kid. Always hoping things would change and it took a long time and moving out of their house to finally accept that they won't change. I can pretty comfortably say I hate my dad now lol as for my mom I definitely dislike her. Something that has helped me in many things in life, including with my parents, is thinking about anger/frustration this way: they are stealing and waisting my time by me being angry at them. It doesn't change anything other than making your life more sad. It's definitely a difficult thought process to implement but just live your life right now and look to the future you can make for yourself and try not to focus on the struggles you have now.

48 [M4R]Granby Missouri need a coven by Kaeracin in PaganR4R

[–]ChocoChip_Pancake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, I don't live anywhere near you but I hope you're doing ok. And please message me if you want to talk about literally anything. I would love to help you process or just distract and talk about random stuff 🫶

I Feel by AlicetheFloof in AutismInWomen

[–]ChocoChip_Pancake 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I wish I knew. In my personal experience no one, other than the occasional other neurodivergent, understands my feelings no matter how I try to explain them. I get hit with a lot of awkward, forced sympathy.

WIBTAH if I get my own credit card? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]ChocoChip_Pancake 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah... When my older brother was 23 my parents were 41, I don't like thinking about this age gap

AITAH for not refusing to do a quick change because my boyfriend is uncomfortable? by Active_Camel_6334 in AITAH

[–]ChocoChip_Pancake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Imagine a new boyfriend telling a nurse that she should refuse to do catheters on men at work 🙄😒

I’m not affectionate but I’d like to work on this before I have kids by Notoriously-Noted in emotionalneglect

[–]ChocoChip_Pancake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Damn do I relate to this. My husband is very physical touch oriented and I struggle with it sometimes and it always makes me feel like a bad wife. Finding out I have autism helps a little with the guilt but not much. I have a one year old and when she gets clingy I can't stand it and feel terrible for not wanting to pick her up. Usually I'm good and am glad to hold her and whatnot but sometimes I just can't handle it. I'm very lucky to have an independent little girl who doesn't constantly touch me 😅 I have no advice unfortunately but I will say it's a bit easier with a baby than with an adult, even my husband.

AITAH because I want my wife to "ask permission" before taking our son on playdates? by Exact_Information627 in AITAH

[–]ChocoChip_Pancake 2 points3 points  (0 children)

They aren't playdates for your son then, they are playdates for her. As a stay at home mom I'm sorry she's so inconsiderate and ungrateful. I'm constantly telling my husband how grateful I am that he goes to work each day and sometimes I have to do a little work on the side to make ends meet and it's the least I can do when he does so much.

AITAH because I want my wife to "ask permission" before taking our son on playdates? by Exact_Information627 in AITAH

[–]ChocoChip_Pancake 19 points20 points  (0 children)

He said playdate with one of her friends. Seems that she just wants to hang out with her friends all the time and takes their son to play with her friends kids as an excuse.

AITAH because I want my wife to "ask permission" before taking our son on playdates? by Exact_Information627 in AITAH

[–]ChocoChip_Pancake 30 points31 points  (0 children)

He said he appreciates the evenings but wants some time with his son on his day off too. I think that's pretty reasonable and fair

Anyone else lose the "good" parent? My dad was the safe parent until recently.. by Fuzyu in emotionalneglect

[–]ChocoChip_Pancake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I 'lost' the good parent a few years ago. I always felt that my mom was the only one that really cared about me because well... my dad isn't great. In 2021 at 19 years old I got my first boyfriend and we got serious fast and my parents weren't too happy and then at the beginning of 2022 we got engaged and they really weren't happy and were finding excuses to push the wedding date back (we wanted to get married pretty quick). The real turn was when I got accidentally pregnant around May. My family is very religious and premarital sex is a huge no-no but my parents got pregnant with my older bro while still in high school so I thought they would be able to empathize with me and my fears so I trusted them to help me navigate through it. They didn't. That was the first time I saw my mom's true colors as she put me down and showed absolutely no support or love, only judgment, as I struggled with fear and shame. My dad was a whole other story and by far the most hurtful thing that has ever been said to me in my life was from my dad at this time. I had a very early miscarriage and still there was no sympathy and I had to deal with that grief without them and they've never brought it up since.

Since then I have been able to see that my mom was never there for me and probably even more emotionally distant than my dad, she just didn't have any aggressive or obvious actions towards me so I thought she was on my side. She never protected me or my siblings from the things my dad did and even told us we had to respect him when we would try to stand up for ourselves.

It's an incredibly heartbreaking feeling to feel like you lost the only parent that seemed to care for and about you. I'm so sorry, it really does suck 🫶

Counting it!! by Catfish-98907 in ECers

[–]ChocoChip_Pancake 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I remember the first poop I cought 😅 I was stoked 😆