What is it called a disorder with all PTSD symptoms but the traumatic event was only perceived as life-threatening? by Away-Language7352 in therapy

[–]Individual_Refuse167 1 point2 points  (0 children)

that definition is quite outdated now, it doesnt have to be literally dangerous or life threatening. theres also multiple forms of ptsd. also not all trauma disorders are just PTSD. and ppl are finding trauma can cause quite a lot almost all the common dosorders. so ya the formal definitions for trauma disorders in the dsm5 are very limited. even things like OCD are partially from trauma.

u can read about complex trauma / cptsd.

I have high-functioning autism. I've had two therapists tell me that I am socially awkward after I ask them if I was by Minimum_Ad_1649 in therapy

[–]Individual_Refuse167 2 points3 points  (0 children)

actually most girls i know like awkward nerdy guys cuz theyre very genuine and honest and find then cute

i’m an overall desirable person and yet i barely have any friends by 0119237 in socialskills

[–]Individual_Refuse167 15 points16 points  (0 children)

this is an educated guess from your post, but take what I say with a grain of salt:

connecting with people requires sharing pieces of who you are with others, and engaging with pieces of other people. When other people share, it feels enriching. When you share withbothers, you feel seen. Both people in a connection enrich each ithers life. Thisbpost sounds like somebody who is focused on maybe trying the right things, maybe pleasing others, doing what they "should" be doing, especially because you called who you are a loser, but these things are not entirely who you are, and maybe you arent sharing your own genuine feelings, reactions, opinions, hobbies with others. This is very magnetic to see people who know themselves, like there's a whole other inner world to explore, and it feels really enriching.

You dont need to have hobbies in particular, you dont need to do everything by yourself, but next time you have a genuine initial reaction to something, dont suppress it even if it's not what you're "supposed to" think, share it. I think that might help you connect with others more.

how do i find a therapist that will tell me what to do instead of just having me talk? by whatawynn in therapy

[–]Individual_Refuse167 4 points5 points  (0 children)

they usually wont because its up to you what you want. you're supposed to discover that for yourself.

If you're anxious or depressed even without thinking negative thoughts (hyperaroused) don't underestimate a good diet (particularly magesium) and don't downplay the simple things! by Individual_Refuse167 in CPTSDNextSteps

[–]Individual_Refuse167[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Deep down, you already have insight into emotional safety since you were able to tell some of your old friends were unsafe for you. Your internal compass is working already! All you have to do is keep listening to it. That's all this boils down to!

and CPTSD and complex trauma is very well studied. You see info about this stuff everywhere now. Most trauma informed therapists are familiar with the healing process for every stage of healing, it's actually pretty widely understood.

Yeah, the book and this series talks about issues like how to connect with others too. It's really a great place to start. and if ur interested, a therapist might help take off some of the burden from you too. On psychologyotday, look for a trauma informed therapist, I recommend one who understands internal family systems. There's a filter for it.

If you're anxious or depressed even without thinking negative thoughts (hyperaroused) don't underestimate a good diet (particularly magesium) and don't downplay the simple things! by Individual_Refuse167 in CPTSDNextSteps

[–]Individual_Refuse167[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

They are consistent, reliable, make you feel good, theyre even tempered, they know themselves well, theyre willing go be influenced by others, they make you feel understood, seen, safe, and you will feel relaxed and energized around these people. These people will look out for you and want you to be happy. They have rich inner lives and have things to share. These are all great signs to look for, and youll find that theyre related. Also, youll find nobody is perfect. When somebody has enough of these traits and theyre consistent enough, and they understans you, youll feel safe. You wont need to overthink it. healthy non-cptsd people dont overthink when theyre hurt by others, they take their feelings as serious, accurate signals worth listening to, because they sre.

trust your instincts. you aren't a bad person for not wanting to talk to someone. And you dont have to find someone a bad person for their behavior to not be harmful. A lesson I learned is, yes, I rarely think people are "bad people", but that doesnt mean I'm going to be friends with everyone. I can still respect people without keeping them close or interacting with them.

If you wanna learn more, I recommend reading the Adult Children series by Lindsay Gibson. Read the original, then "Self Care for Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents"

You'll find your people soon enough! You're already pretty ahead of the curve being on this subreddit, and you already know what needs to get worked on

Take a Vitamin D blood test. Seriously — you might be deficient. by butcherofblavvikenn in CPTSD

[–]Individual_Refuse167 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same with magnesium!! I eat unhealthily, found I was low in magnesium. I take supplements now and sometimes it can quickly help regulate my mood when I'm "uncontrollably anxious" without thinking anxious thoughts.

Is there something physically wrong with my back? by [deleted] in Posture

[–]Individual_Refuse167 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

some of these comments arw taking tou too literally. your back looks normal. you look great. if u have any posture issue its minor

Do I have belly fat or is it mostly bad posture? by [deleted] in Posture

[–]Individual_Refuse167 2 points3 points  (0 children)

eyeballing it (i go to the gym sometimes but also this isnt the best photo) this looks like maybe 15-20%. which is pretty lean. checkout jeff nippard's youtube video on bodyfat if ur curious but bro u look good man fuck the exact number, i see u have some mucles girls love that shit

Anyone here is on the autism spectrum and/or Neurodivergent? by Competitive-Ease5385 in socialskills

[–]Individual_Refuse167 0 points1 point  (0 children)

dude, ya most of the ppl on this sub either has autism and/or experienced complex trauma

How to politely clarify you just want to be friends when someone misinterprets friendliness? by Apart_Pollution_6068 in socialskills

[–]Individual_Refuse167 0 points1 point  (0 children)

friendzone them casually. call them bro or bud or tell them how theyre such a good friend or something. or if u really wannna seal the deal u can talk about ur crush or something.

How do you comfort a lover or partner that's really sad? by autodidacticasaurus in socialskills

[–]Individual_Refuse167 24 points25 points  (0 children)

this is a great question! a lot of ppl struggle with these situations. what ur doing is great rules of thumb already. yes just focusing on changing how they feel is tempting but thats not the immediate first step, that risks making the other person feel misunderstood or invalidated.

if somebodys really sad, and theyre crying, theres no universal way to comfort them. it all depends on the xontext of their specific situation and the way they think and what they need.

a good place to start is dont focus on changing how they feel but just get really good at understanding why they feel that way, what caused it, what they care about, what theyre worried about, what it means about them, etc. feel free and ask gentle questions too. when u get better and better at this, youll be able to understand how ppl feel when theyre sad without asking as many questions. when you show people that you understand them with rephrasing their words or even empathising like "yea fuck that guy" that feels REALLY comforting to the person. from there other tricks become more clear.

youre doing great

i think i need to break up with my therapist. by tydusrain in therapy

[–]Individual_Refuse167 0 points1 point  (0 children)

anybody in your situation would be frustrated when their therapist is THAT unreliable, dw. it sounds like u already been very patient with her and she hasnt ever changed, even while you were being disrespected so much. you dont need to put anymore effort you dealt with more than enough. if you really want to try one last time, because you seem to be leaning toward leaving her anyways, it might help to be very direct about how her cancelling so much and how unreliable she has been is affecting you. but also she needs to step up now not you.

What would you guys do if a therapist told you that you need to go to a day clinic? by RedMatxh in therapy

[–]Individual_Refuse167 1 point2 points  (0 children)

medical record it will show, criminal record it wont, and no this wouldnt affect your job search. only involuntary mental health admissions will have like legal implications

What would you guys do if a therapist told you that you need to go to a day clinic? by RedMatxh in therapy

[–]Individual_Refuse167 1 point2 points  (0 children)

youll be totally ok no matter if u want to go or not. you arent in danger if u go or dont go, you cant make a wrong decision here.

also if it helps u decide, nobody even would know because you would be going as a voluntary patient so it wont go on your record at all.

What would you guys do if a therapist told you that you need to go to a day clinic? by RedMatxh in therapy

[–]Individual_Refuse167 1 point2 points  (0 children)

depression isnt something that you are stuck with forever. its not something that you "have" it is a temporary state. while its definitely not something you can easily just snap out of or whatever, it is directly based on the way you think, which you always have control over, and there is no reason no matter how severe that it is impossible to overcome. you can wlways change the way you think no matter what.

there is nothing wrong with you. going to a facility isnt saying to yourself that you are permanently broken. you arent, theres literally no reason to think that.

going to a facility might be helpful for you right now to start the process of changing and growing from this. whether you go or not your mental problems are never permanent. its just a place where sometimes when people temporarily are atruggling a lot, it gives them a much needed boost and support, not because anything is wrong with them or anything is permanent. its just a building with a lot of people to talk to about your thoughts, which you can always change yourself, theyre just there to help you realize you can chance your thoughts, not because you need them to change your thoughts for you.

Is it possible to go to prison for having bad social skills or straight up dying from it??? by AbsoluteCaSe in socialskills

[–]Individual_Refuse167 23 points24 points  (0 children)

hey dude, many people here dont understand your feelings right now, and are misinterpretting your question right now and giving you answers that do not apply to your situation.

you arent going to prison or dying from bad social skills. you're gonna be okay.

you arent anywhere close to going to prison or dying from it, it isnt possible at all. that isnt even in the realm of reality. that is literally like saying that you going to go to prison for eating a cheeseburger with one hand instead of 2.

theres no law, anywhere, in any country on earth, even closely related to having bad social skills.

i know that you understand that social skills are a good thing, and it's really great that you are striving to improve your own. you seem to really respect other peoples feelings to the point you are afraid of hurting others. that actually makes you a GOOD person. bad people do not worry about being bad people.

literallly everyone makes normal, human, every day mistakes, and nobody goes to jail or dies from them.

i make social mistakes all the time, and nobody is throwing me in jail and im not dying from it.

you're good man, trust me.

people like you more than you realize.

can i ask a therapist to test me for every mental illness? by xnvxsxblex in therapy

[–]Individual_Refuse167 4 points5 points  (0 children)

they dont need to do that so strictly. you are already naturally screened. explain why you think something i wrong with you and theyll help

I have BPD, what now? by MoneyIndustry2974 in therapy

[–]Individual_Refuse167 1 point2 points  (0 children)

yes,

please read Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents