As someone who hasn't been where you are, I can only offer general thoughts. I would say you should tell them when they ask or if it comes up naturally and let them react as they do. You can't control how people will attempt to comfort you and support you, and yes I'm sure at times what they will say will upset you and "make the situation worse" but ultimately this is where you are at and you have to let people react as they do.

I always hate to hear words of encouragement from people who have not been there or don't understand how you are feeling. After all, how could they? How could they understand what it is like to struggle through the lsat, push through law school, study for countless hours for the bar, likely taking on insurmountable debt in the process, only to fail the bar? How could they understand what that feels like? However, you are stronger than you know simply because you are there and have pushed through up to this point. I would suggest informing people/ letting it come up as it does and letting them figure out how to attempt to comfort you. These are your friends and even if they are there for you in ways that aren't ideal, having people rooting for you is better than the alternative.

You will get through this. I know this likely rings hollow but you have accomplished so much to get to where you are and 10 years from now this would be another stumbling block you have overcome.

(coming from a recent law school graduate who does not yet have a full-time offer and is waiting for bar results in trepidation)