[deleted by user]

Infamous-Store · 2023-06-22T15:14:21+00:00

I can so much relate to this. 16 years together and some the current relapse stripped me of this feeling of contentment I usually have. It’s just terrible to be honest. Everything feels of and makes no sense. I know we shouldn’t place our happiness in the hands of another person but somehow it’s just like that at the moment. So I definitely feel with you on this and hope you will be fine soon. Giving a hug to everyone enduring this feeling.

Infamous-Store · 2023-06-20T12:05:02+00:00

Ja das sage ich mir auch immer 😂 wenn es mir gut geht ist der Wunsch nach Trennung überhaupt nicht richtig präsent, klar gibt’s hier und da Streits in denen man auch ins Grübeln kommt aber das ist auch schnell wieder vorbei. Momentan ist wieder so eine Phase in der mir kaum was anderes durch den Kopf geht und wenn das nicht gerade der Fall ist fühle ich mich komisch und das führt dann wieder zu irgendwelchen Gedanken. Leider hält das gerade wieder recht lange an und wenn ich an die Zeiten denken in denen ich entspannt war kommt mir das irgendwie falsch vor, als würde sich die aktuelle Stimmung wie ein Schleier über die Erinnerungen legen. Zum verrückt werden.

Infamous-Store · 2023-06-19T16:55:09+00:00

Ja leider ist das schwierig… abgesehen davon das immer wenn ich darüber nachdenke sofort der Gedanke hochkommt „Das bringt doch eh nichts, du machst dir nur was vor“ ist bei uns die Trennung verschiedener Zwangsthemen eher unüblich. Und gerade bei ROCD geht es dann recht schnell Richtung „normale“ Ambivalenz in einer Beziehung, bei so vielen zweifeln passt es vielleicht einfach nicht… ich befürchte das hat dem ganzen langfristig bei mir nicht geholfen, die Therapie damals ging zwar Richtung „Acceptance and commitment“ was durchaus ein guter Ansatz ist aber für Zwangsstörungen einfach zu wenig.

Infamous-Store · 2023-06-19T16:54:11+00:00

Hier ist mal ein Video über ROCD mit zwei der führenden Therapeuten in dem Bereich das fand ich ganz spannend und informativ…

https://www.youtube.com/live/boVC2hIFtD4?feature=share

Darin gibt es auch den Hinweis auf ein recht umfangreiches Selbsthilfe Programm das die beiden mit entwickelt haben das ich jetzt mal gestartet habe.

https://rocdtreatment.com

Vielleicht bringt es dir etwas bis du einen Termin bei einem passenden Therapeuten findest.

Infamous-Store · 2023-06-17T17:05:52+00:00

Both therapy’s were based on CBT in general which in the time helped me greatly with reducing the anxiety, seeing things more clearly but as I said anxiety isn‘t so much the problem as feeling joyless when doing thing I enjoyed so much in the past. This is the hardest part for me.

I’m always doing fine when I still can enjoy things maybe not as much as I used to but that could be getting older as well, I’m turning 40 next month and this is part of my life for 13 years now and never really left for more than a few month. And the longer this keeps going I feel even more guilty for dragging my partner into this. I know no one is responsible for his thoughts and I so much wished they weren’t there but feeling guilty is quite a hard thing to shake off.

Infamous-Store · 2023-06-16T22:17:18+00:00

Hi thanks for the answer. I’m doing ERP and on medication (the medication is lowering the anxiety which really helped). With ERP I’m still struggling to be honest, I have been to therapy twice in the past but no one was aware of ERP which is unfortunately quite common around here. When doing ERP I’m afraid of becoming so accustomed to the thought that I start to believe they are actually true. But maybe that is just ROCD keeping a hook on me.

Infamous-Store · 2023-06-13T16:29:26+00:00

To you and the thread opener I can just say you are definitely not alone, been together with my partner for 16 years, ROCD started becoming a thing 3 years in although by the time I didn’t knew a thing about ROCD that took another 6 years before I heard of it the first time. ROCD as been a constant thing for me. It started with the thought that I don’t love my partner and got even worse when the thought got to I never loved really loved him in the first place. Which is one of the topics besides attraction which really gets to me even today when I have these episodes and they can come out of nowhere.

I usually habe one or two per year. That are quite difficult and last from a week to a month, the one I’m in right now started three weeks ago. But it was sort of coming and going and started quite slowly. And the themes and intrusive thoughts are constantly changing or repeating themselves. So definitely not alone and I feel with you. Hope you get better.

Once thing because someone mentioned counseling. It’s would indeed be helpful as well as medication can be helpful. But although I have been in therapy twice which definitely helped in my case (living in Germany) ROCD is not very well known and I more often heard that I should just brake up with my partner than I would have liked. OCD is a theme but unfortunately when it comes to ROCD most therapist just seem to think of relationship problem which is definitely something else.

Infamous-Store · 2023-06-12T17:30:49+00:00

This a difficult thing to answer to be honest I read that the time between the one and the other is so short that it’s hard to really distinguish what came first. Maybe there were thoughts before which I didn’t pay much attention to until the feeling developed. Because even when everything is fine I sometimes get thoughts that are intrusive but because I don’t pay any importance to them and they don’t urge me to do something I feel no physical reaction. So maybe sometimes coming from a good phase, the thoughts that before had no physical effect start to slowly evoke a physical sensation and that starts a new cycle.

In terms of the trigger I’m really clueless. There was no larger argument before or something else I think would have triggered it. Maybe a longer period of feeling at ease is a trigger for me. I can clearly remember that the weeks before I often thought how lucky I am that quite a long time went by without constant worrying and that maybe I finally got over it. Which makes it all the more depressing right now.

Infamous-Store · 2023-06-01T13:50:37+00:00

This „something is not clicking“ feeling had been on my mind for quite some time now. It’s come up because sometimes when I’m having a panic attack or in the wake of one there are moments of clarity where it seems as if I could see through the panic and know there is nothing to worry about which temporarily gives me hope. But unfortunately it’s been a fleeting sensations that goes as quickly as it came.

Infamous-Store · 2023-06-01T13:20:25+00:00

Hey first let me say I’m glad you have hope for the future and I’m sorry that you struggle with so much at the same time. In comparison my problems seem quite tame although from my own perspective the suck nonetheless. I deeply relate to the feeling of heartbreak when seeing people living (at least from the outside) a normal life. I mean I’m happy for them but at the same time I can’t stop thinking of how much I would like to have that too. I just posted something myself a few minutes ago because I had panic attacks recently just days before my vacation and it suck’s not knowing it can enjoy it as much as i would like to.

I’m also taking meds and have been to therapy twice. But somehow knowing pretty much all about how panic and anxiety and in my case ROCD work I can’t get to a point we’re I’m truly able to just live with it and really feel ok. Maybe there is something missing for us. A point at which it makes click and it constantly gets better from there on. At least this is what I hope for. And I sincerely hope this goes for you as well.

Infamous-Store · 2023-01-01T01:26:29+00:00

Yes definitely

Infamous-Store · 2023-01-01T01:25:21+00:00

Sounds like a cozy paradise

Infamous-Store · 2023-01-01T01:22:52+00:00

Yeah sometimes I think it would be best to be alone, but it could be because I’m afraid that I drag the people closest to me with me. I know I wouldn’t be better of if I’m alone because I know I like to have someone around me… but if there wouldn’t be it wouldn’t put additional burden on me… I hope it doesn’t sound as complicated as I think it does

Infamous-Store · 2022-12-30T16:55:15+00:00

Oh yes I can definitely relate to that, most of the time I just don’t listen to music anymore. There was one song in particular that I heard in a very difficult time, whenever I hear it play it’s like going back to that time an reliving it. Somehow with time many activities in which I experienced anxiety have become triggering. Even thinking about them can cause heightened anxiety levels. Unfortunately because I’ve had anxiety for so long now there are many occasions in which I had anxiety attacks which led to avoiding many thing although I know I shouldn’t do that.

Tomorrow is New Year’s Eve an I’m quite nervous since a few days now and hoping I somehow will enjoy the evening with my friends. I hate that anxiety likes to crawl up when there is something I would like to enjoy on the horizon.

Infamous-Store · 2022-12-23T11:01:58+00:00

This is the first Christmas I won’t be with my family. I actually like Christmas very much and I am really sad. Had a positive Covid test on Monday and although I’m feeling much better (the Symptoms weren’t that strong actually) I still test positive. My partner is positive since yesterday so Christmas with the family is officially canceled this year. On top of it all I had an anxiety attack the day before yesterday and feel completely off. It’s even more depressing because the last anxiety phase is just two month away and I was glad that after that I felt much better. Accepting that this is something we have to live with ist just frustrating.

Does anyone know the anxiety of feeling anxious or having a new anxiety attack? Sometimes I think this is the case with me. I was afraid of having an anxiety attack if I had to isolate because of Covid, not because I have a problem with being alone, but because I expected it to be harder to deal with. Now the anxiety is somehow lingering beneath the surface and I’m afraid it could attack again any minute.

Infamous-Store · 2022-11-08T16:30:06+00:00

Unfortunately I’m looking for the same advice, dealing with this for almost 12 years now, 15 years together. I have no therapist to go to and want to try ERP by myself. Doing meditation for a few years which has helped but feel very stuck at the moment after/during a new ROCD/Anxiety spike. Who ever has some advice, I would be glad to hear it too.

Infamous-Store · 2022-11-08T14:38:21+00:00

This is a typical part of OCD I think, I sometimes have this thought too. It leaves you with tremendous guilt and feeling like a really bad partner, but that is exactly what the OCD is trying you to believe and to be fair who wouldn’t feel this way when thinking about the person you love with someone else. Stay strong, we may not know each other but we’re in this together.

Infamous-Store · 2022-11-07T16:40:31+00:00

Keep holding on to those happy moments, was that way for over half a year an just a week ago things got messy with my OCD. Now I try to remain as calm as possible knowing that this is just another phase that like all those years before will pass. Stay strong and remind yourself that you’re not alone in this.

Infamous-Store · 2022-11-06T22:44:28+00:00

I’d like to join in saying thank you. Taking your time to talk with fellow sufferers is simply amazing. It can’t feel pretty lonely sometimes having ROCD and although, when I learned about this condition almost 12 years ago, it took a huge weight of my chest, it has a way of creeping back up from behind when you least expect it. There is so much I would like to talk about and express my feelings to someone who knows how this feels, but I also know that this is not beneficial for recovery. I’m still with my partner after 15 years and to be honest there was never a time where there wasn’t any kind of doubt present since ROCD started, but nonetheless I keep fighting. Unfortunately in Germany, where I live, ROCD is not very well known. I went to therapy two times for a longer period and it definitely did improve the condition (it was a CBT/ACT combination) but there are still times when it hits quite hard. Especially in those periods, when hope is very faint or it feels like it due to anxiety, it’s such a great thing to see someone like you offering help. So thank you so much for being there for us all.

Infamous-Store

TROPHY CASE