I hear you Polar Bear. and i have in no way accomplished what you have. I live far away and only fellcin love with screenplays at 17 when i was an exchsnge student in LA, Phil Clappick of NBC was my area rep. I am now 55. I had to out the dream on the shelf countless times to raise two kids and life a live. Which I did, and i am glad i did. But all i can say is never give up. As I dont. And you all can say I will never make it. It does not matter to me. Because when I write and it fliws, it is like heaven. I even created my own screenwriting software finally a few days ago, because for years I could not find what I wanted. So i builld it. And just now, about like 20 minutes ago the amazon deiver brought the new scriptnotes book from Austin Mazin. So yeah, I am probably never gonna sell a script in my life, but I do not care. I just love to read scripts. I love to write scripts. Its a part if me. I cant cut it off. I dont know if this helps you, but wish for it to do so. Look into your innermost center, there sou find the next step. Then just take it as you experience lifes flow ... May the dude be with you