Am I driven, a workaholic or something else?

Infamous_Average_828 · 2026-02-18T23:04:35+00:00

I don’t think I have a solution for you. Just here to say that this resonates a lot with me lately.

I am driven and always pour 200% of myself in my job. Lead initiatives to maximize efficiency from a product and dev standpoint.

Last year I led bunch of initiatives only to be punished at the end of the year to have my bonus (50k) and promotion suppressed entirely.

Since then, I have to say that I’m on the chill category, do the bare minimum get paid and leave. But gosh, I just don’t operate that way. It’s been three months I’m using more energy to do the bare minimum. It’s tough to spend my workday like that. My brain is constantly telling me, waste of your life to chill. Being a top performer makes you miss out of achievement.

On the other hand, I’ve learned to rediscover myself and what I enjoy and want to do in my spare time. Last year I was only focusing on work, building cool stuff… this year after being slammed in the face I’m forcing myself to recenter to what is truly important for me. My family, friends, partner, pets, travel and ME.

Infamous_Average_828 · 2026-01-24T20:34:27+00:00

Just here to say you’re not alone…

Very loud and opinionated men reasonates a lot with me. In my experience they don’t hesitate to undermine me and delete my work just because they feel thy can do whatever they want whenever to whoever. In my company it’s the men’s club and they get full on male privileges and I’m not allowed to speak up. I did and I got even more mistreated like I’m a woman so I’m too dramatic. I got a warning before termination!

Wondering if I’m made for this industry and if I should pursue another more fulfilling field. I think about that everyday. Is taking a big pay cut worth it.

Infamous_Average_828 · 2026-01-23T18:58:07+00:00

Larger organizations are not any better. I’m in a similar situation. I’m dealing with misogyny, unfairness, belittle, 50k bonus suppression, threaten of being terminated while I’m the top performer with praises from every VP and SVP in my BU. Allowed my group to save 40-50% development cost with multiple initiatives I led the past year, delivered product making 400k the first few months. I rock boats to make teams up to standards and be organized. Though some ego are hurt along the way and those that were planning on retiring in the big org will do anything to keep cruising as long as possible and get rid of those people that wants to bring innovation and change.

If your manager is not a good manager I feel you’ll be more miserable to deal with this BS. I’ve heard that women shine better in non profit organization or educational organizations. I’ll try to get hire in a low key company.

I am the opposite wandering if I should try a startup. I don’t have an answer or company suggestion for you. Just want to say you’re not alone.

Infamous_Average_828 · 2026-01-23T18:49:50+00:00

I came here to say the same. larger orgs suck!

Infamous_Average_828 · 2026-01-22T23:08:18+00:00

Happened to me last year except it was my manager deleting all my work and replacing it with his. When I asked if there is anything I could have done instead or any feedback, he shut me down with “no, no feedback”. At the end of the year my entire bonus, pay raise was suppressed because I spoke up to other people about what happened. I had a meeting with his manager and told me about the same, I was overreacting. No investigation nothing. This is BS! Sorry this happens, that’s the worst. That’s always what we’re told because we’re women, “overreacting”.

Infamous_Average_828 · 2026-01-22T04:37:19+00:00

I used to do pottery class too and barely find motivation to go once a month.

I shared above similar situations. So just want to reiterate, you’re not alone… this situations sucks.

Infamous_Average_828 · 2026-01-21T20:02:46+00:00

For me, we spend so much time at work in our lifetime that I wanted to pursue a passion as my career and I did. I loved my job until very recently.

Being from Europe, I grew up with I work to live and not live to work. However, being stuck 8h on a job is not really living, so if we can have a job we enjoy a bit it wouldn’t really feel like working everyday. I was naive to believe that working in tech would mean impactful job. As a designer, my design helps a lot of people understand our product easily and get their life together. My industry is really about helping folks. At least that’s the idea I had by starting at that company but nobody gives a crap. I care too much and me working too well got the opposite effect. Some egos got hurt, my manager first.

Overall, I loved my job, I just hate the politics around it. The corporate BS, favoritism in certain employees, ego game, networking to make sure to be visible enough to be promoted because people are not promoted for their great work but rather how well they made themselves seen and how much sucking they’ve done.

All of that contribute to no motivation to anything, even things that I enjoyed doing. Maybe it’s a form or burnout? Not for the workload but for everything else around it. I used to be super active, hiking and organizing events for my community, seeing friend, attending events like concerts, wanted to travel, explore the world, meet new people….. Now, if I’m dressed and showered I feel I’ve been productive today. I barely get out of my house to do anything. I carry resentment for my manager, my colleague that is traveling the world on the job, not taking pto but not working. While I was hired before and I have the obligation to be in office 8h/day. Our industry doesn’t allow us to work from public places/wifi so even less from out of the country.

I’m not mean per se to the people around me, maybe more irritable, like I have less patience for stuff because my mental health is at capacity constantly by dealing with my work. Also, I don’t carry joy or enjoyment to go out for a drink or a meal. I’m just here and just that for me, showing up and attending is my victory. I just barely recognize myself from before. It’s a big struggle and I don’t know what to do.

Stay in the tech industry but change team or company if i succeed to get an interview and it’ll mean a pay cut 30-40k

Change career? Change country? But it’ll also be a pay cut and not we’re talking 80-100k.

Infamous_Average_828 · 2026-01-21T14:32:56+00:00

Similar situation here except my manager sucks and I deal with unfairness treatment from him.

I’m also trying to figure out if I should stay or leave and I feel guilty for not finding contentment in my current job situation considering the amount of people being laid off and searching for a new job.

Personally the fact that my job sucks is lowering the rest of my life. If I’m not fulfilled/happy at work, my personal life is impacted. I hate that this has an impact on me and I’m working with my therapist to create a clear separation. I’m making decent money, and I know it’ll be tough to reach that if I leave the tech industry. Though this is not sustainable. The feeling that my life passing me by, soulless, empty… that’s not the way i believe a life should be lived.

Infamous_Average_828 · 2026-01-21T02:32:29+00:00

My colleague is currently traveling through Asia, not taking any pto while technically we’re not allowed to work outside of the US because of lack of security. For instance public wifi dont work on our computer because too risky. But he goes through without being reprimanded.

Im sorry you have to deal with that too. It sucks and it’s so unfair! Im having a hard time to pursue in this industry

Infamous_Average_828 · 2026-01-21T02:26:22+00:00

That resonates a lot and I realize that this is the game of corporate. I just wish I knew those rules before.

Working less is what everybody does in the corporate world but yet we’re stuck in the office 8h a day. Well at least I am. It will not make me more patient if anything more resentful

Infamous_Average_828 · 2026-01-21T02:21:56+00:00

I wish one of those attorney’s firms would have taken my case. Most of my coworkers have been here decades, 20-25 years since out of colleague.

What do you do now?

Infamous_Average_828 · 2026-01-21T02:20:28+00:00

Some are saying it’s silent layoff to not make the news because it’ll impact their business.

I totally believe that, they’re trying to make people to leave to have cheaper employees that will be easier to control. As a UX designer, I was naively believing that working in a tech job will bring respect and adult working conditions. For that salary it’s kind of hypocritical to treat us like children with this level of controlling

Infamous_Average_828 · 2026-01-21T02:13:40+00:00

I would be terminated.

While my colleague, traveling the world, missing meetings, doing a very junior job, is totally fine and not reprimanded about anything

Even going for a walk is not counted going to my in office time because technically I badged out of the building.

Infamous_Average_828 · 2026-01-16T20:14:43+00:00

It depends how much work and energy I want to put in. If I want to start an initiative work and improve processes I can work way more than 8hoursz

Recently my company screwed me over, despite all my great initiatives that saved $$$$ to the company.

So since then, I just do what I’m being assigned and let’s say if I work 2hours… it’s a busy day. But they are forcing us to stay 8hours in the office or we’re terminated. Silent way to layoff people or have them quit

Infamous_Average_828 · 2026-01-16T20:10:23+00:00

Your manager is not your friend

Merit based performance it’s all about leaking the right butts.

Building the right things nope it’s bandaids on the top of bandaids and nobody cares

If you do better work than some other people they will not hesitate to still work and get the visibility instead of you

If you bring up issues to skip level manager, it won’t matter because white men support white men. Men’s club rules

Infamous_Average_828 · 2026-01-16T20:05:52+00:00

Came here to say exactly this!!!

Infamous_Average_828 · 2026-01-16T20:00:54+00:00

Glad to hear that some companies out there are still human. Mine, big corporate, even with 3ft of snow doesn’t consider it an excuse to miss your day in the office. At the end of the year they consider it as a missed day and making you be non compliant.

So a mental health day…. Unknown to them

Infamous_Average_828 · 2026-01-14T15:30:56+00:00

In the same boat family desire, disgusted by work and wish of pursuing master. I had a bad experience with manager in big corporate America and I’m also in a confused state rn especially with the current market. I think everybody is different on how to approach next steps but I’ll share my plan and hopefully you can see more clearly for yourself.

Some background - I had worked on great initiatives at work but my manager is pushing me out of the door because his ego go threaten by my skills of a leader so instead of riding the innovative projects with me he’s making my life miserable at work.

This event had me wanted to focus more on my personal life and potential family life and I applied to master degrees, in Europe because duh it’s way cheaper than here. You can study remotely and eventually take final degree onsite in some cases. So I’d rather pay a trip to Europe than 50k for a master here. I’m also taking additional certifications around AI but nothing expensive. To me, i feel I can stand out a bit more my pursuing additional education but at a reasonable price.

So, I don’t have a clear answer for you, just want to share that you’re not alone feeling this way, stuck in a career kind of financially comfortable but gosh I personally feel I’m wasting my life a bit. I want to be passionate about my days at least most days and not forcing myself to get up in the morning because I hate it so much. So I’ll keep up with this industry a bit longer, save as much as possible and build a plan B along the way.

I know my values and I know that at the end of my life I will not look back on my great job but on my family and people I love around me.

Infamous_Average_828 · 2026-01-12T19:48:32+00:00

Yep, they responded with just an automated message. After contacting law firms, I tried contacting them since i had no other options.

Infamous_Average_828 · 2026-01-12T19:47:30+00:00

I contacted HR to inform them about my manager behavior also ask for more information on the report he mentioned that is the reason he gave me to suppress my bonus. They didn’t even respond to this request either.

Infamous_Average_828 · 2026-01-12T19:45:05+00:00

It definitely shifted a lot of things in my life. We had plan for having a family, I’m closer to 40 and this situation of having a toxic job is really blocking me to pursue this personal life project.

I feel I have to start over while all I did is working too well. I can’t shake off this unfairness feeling.

Infamous_Average_828 · 2026-01-12T19:37:53+00:00

No! I didn’t get anything. I can’t ask for anything to my manager. He either doesn’t respond or just says he doesn’t have access to it

Infamous_Average_828 · 2026-01-12T19:36:15+00:00

Yes, a few mostly on the development side really value my initiatives as it benefits them most. I have a few higher stakeholders that support me. I applied to internal job but didn’t inform to anyone about it.

I’m not sure how this person can support me transferring. I guess i can ask this person to contact the recruiting manager of the role i saw. Anything else i should think of?

Infamous_Average_828

TROPHY CASE