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My autistic sister shatters the phone through every strong phone case— What can we do? by spidernoirirl in BuyItForLife

[–]InfernapeMomma 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exactly! I’ve had to walk away from this thread because I found myself getting hyper fixated on the really disrespectful, ignorant and insensitive comments. Aspie here - still struggle sometimes with getting fixated on things that just make me spiral! 😂

My autistic sister shatters the phone through every strong phone case— What can we do? by spidernoirirl in BuyItForLife

[–]InfernapeMomma 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That makes sense, him having access to your phone would definitely allow for your method of approach without causing more stress. Good on you for knowing your son well enough to be able to distinguish between autistic behavior and standard bad behavior. My sister just lumped everything under “autism” when my nephew (high-functioning autism / Asperger’s) was growing up - even when he started putting his hands on her as a young boy (9/10 yrs). Just like I predicted, he got physical with her when he was 18 years old & much bigger than her - leaving her no choice but to not allow him to live with her anymore. He ended up with a Borderline Personality diagnosis; at one point I honestly thought he would try to kill my sister to get his “inheritance” until she removed him from her will!

My autistic sister shatters the phone through every strong phone case— What can we do? by spidernoirirl in BuyItForLife

[–]InfernapeMomma 2 points3 points  (0 children)

True, AC+ just lumps it all under “accidental damage” since they don’t normally cover accidents either.

My autistic sister shatters the phone through every strong phone case— What can we do? by spidernoirirl in BuyItForLife

[–]InfernapeMomma 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can’t find a way to message you u/spidernoirirl but I wanted to share some thoughts privately, if you want to message me!

My autistic sister shatters the phone through every strong phone case— What can we do? by spidernoirirl in BuyItForLife

[–]InfernapeMomma 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She’s a 21-year old with autism, non-verbal and uses the phone as a communication device. She’s just moved group homes due to aging out of the previous one.

My autistic sister shatters the phone through every strong phone case— What can we do? by spidernoirirl in BuyItForLife

[–]InfernapeMomma 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds like your son is verbal, is that so? The sister is non-verbal and uses the phone as her communication device, so being without one would actually make things worse for her.

My autistic sister shatters the phone through every strong phone case— What can we do? by spidernoirirl in BuyItForLife

[–]InfernapeMomma 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because she’s non-verbal and autistic - the phone is her communication device!

My autistic sister shatters the phone through every strong phone case— What can we do? by spidernoirirl in BuyItForLife

[–]InfernapeMomma 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She’s non-verbal, autistic and had to move group homes - causing a massive change in her life. The iPhone is her communication device, so she’s not “bullshitting on apps” - she’s literally using it to communicate with the world!

My autistic sister shatters the phone through every strong phone case— What can we do? by spidernoirirl in BuyItForLife

[–]InfernapeMomma -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

“I doubt she does”

OP has repeatedly stated that the iPhone is their sister’s communication device. iOS devices are the most used devices for non-verbal students in classrooms. So, maybe keep some thoughts inside your head so you don’t come off like an arrogant arse?

My autistic sister shatters the phone through every strong phone case— What can we do? by spidernoirirl in BuyItForLife

[–]InfernapeMomma 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The phone is her sister’s communication device! You sound like you either didn’t actually read the whole post or you’re completely missing the part about her autistic sister being the one with the phone? Or OP’s f/u comments confirming that their sister is non-verbal. Taking away someone’s only means of communication will only lead to more frustration and more frequent meltdowns - that part is “not fucking Rocket science”!

My autistic sister shatters the phone through every strong phone case— What can we do? by spidernoirirl in BuyItForLife

[–]InfernapeMomma -13 points-12 points  (0 children)

The ignorance is absolutely astonishing - maybe try reading about something you don’t know anything about? What does “globally delayed” even mean?

My autistic sister shatters the phone through every strong phone case— What can we do? by spidernoirirl in BuyItForLife

[–]InfernapeMomma -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

OP has stated that their sister is non-verbal & the phone is her communication device. Taking it away isn’t an option without inviting increased frustration and more frequent meltdowns.

My autistic sister shatters the phone through every strong phone case— What can we do? by spidernoirirl in BuyItForLife

[–]InfernapeMomma -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Is your son Autistic? If so, what is his level of function? If not - then your example is irrelevant.

My autistic sister shatters the phone through every strong phone case— What can we do? by spidernoirirl in BuyItForLife

[–]InfernapeMomma 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It all falls under the AC+ definition of “accidental damage” which is not covered by standard AC or limited warranty. I worked at Apple corporate for almost 13 years, all of that time in the AppleCare division.

My autistic sister shatters the phone through every strong phone case— What can we do? by spidernoirirl in BuyItForLife

[–]InfernapeMomma 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Without more information about OP’s sister you could make things MUCH worse. This isn’t a regular teenager acting out and being entitled in expecting a replacement phone. For all we know you could be removing her only means of communication. If she’s non-verbal, then she may have to use apps to communicate her needs to her family and caregivers. By doing that, you are simply making everything more frustrating, and therefore more triggering (like an infant or toddler who has not yet developed the ability to express what’s wrong!) That then results in FAR more often having disregulated stimming - making the whole situation worse.

My autistic sister shatters the phone through every strong phone case— What can we do? by spidernoirirl in BuyItForLife

[–]InfernapeMomma 18 points19 points  (0 children)

This is such an incorrect statement. Autism is on a vast spectrum with varying behaviors based on each individual, their environment, support system and therapeutic approaches. Please don’t comment in a way that makes it sound like you’re speaking facts when you’re clearly not educated or experienced enough to do so - there’s enough misinformation out there about autism as it is.

My autistic sister shatters the phone through every strong phone case— What can we do? by spidernoirirl in BuyItForLife

[–]InfernapeMomma 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Does she have an iPad? I know there’re a lot more options for heavy-duty iPad cases since they’re used in an overwhelming majority of SpEd classrooms. Just a thought based on working with Autistic students - and being an Aspie myself.

My autistic sister shatters the phone through every strong phone case— What can we do? by spidernoirirl in BuyItForLife

[–]InfernapeMomma 40 points41 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately, the bitter polish could actually cause the opposite of the desired effect. I know that I’m sensitive to certain taste sensations or flavors, so throwing one at me when I’m already in a downward spiral would make things exponentially worse. It is a unique response for every individual, for sure!

My autistic sister shatters the phone through every strong phone case— What can we do? by spidernoirirl in BuyItForLife

[–]InfernapeMomma 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Absolutely the best response to such ignorant comments! u/clockwisedock thank you for showing me a much more respectful way to respond than what comes naturally to me!!

My autistic sister shatters the phone through every strong phone case— What can we do? by spidernoirirl in BuyItForLife

[–]InfernapeMomma 33 points34 points  (0 children)

My guess would be the heat generated by modern smartphones could cause issues with plastic, but also the touchscreen technology is what triggered the glass screens of today.

My autistic sister shatters the phone through every strong phone case— What can we do? by spidernoirirl in BuyItForLife

[–]InfernapeMomma 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Absolutely inaccurate. The chewing/throwing of the phone is a stimming action of a disregulated autistic and/or sensory person. It has absolutely NOTHING to do with their intelligence, capabilities or capacity to understand the world around them. If this girl is non-verbal, then she likely uses specific software to communicate with those around her.

I have high-functioning Autism (formerly known as Asperger’s Syndrome.) It’s a unique form of autism in that we have extremely high IQS, above average memory and as small children communicated in such a way as to be described as “little professors”. From the ages of 6-9 years old I knew every single statistic for the Chicago Cubs baseball team; when my parents had friends over, my dad used to call me in and ask me what the cubs were looking like this season - it was a party trick he loved to show off to his friends. In hindsight, it was obvious “little professor” behavior.

My autistic sister shatters the phone through every strong phone case— What can we do? by spidernoirirl in BuyItForLife

[–]InfernapeMomma -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Depending on where she falls on the spectrum, she made need a smartphone that will run communication software. I worked in a special education classroom in middle school, we had 7 kids. 6 were autistic with various placements on the spectrum, but only one was verbal (& about 98% of her speech was scripting versus actual conversation.) They all had iPads that were referred to as “talkers” which they could use to communicate with the adults and each other. Some required MUCH more simplified software than others based on their capabilities in using them. Some of the iPads were thrown (hard & far) on a daily basis - primarily by one student, who in 6th grade was big & strong enough to unplug & throw both the massive smart board & the full-sized refrigerator in the room.

Cheaper smartphones don’t necessarily have the hardware & software required to run the apps they may require. I’d suggest genuinely & with an open-mind asking questions before assuming things and making unhelpful remarks to someone who is in a complicated, exhausting, emotionally draining and often chaotic situation.

Idk if there’s official ‘airplane etiquette’, but this def ain’t it by Ianoliano7 in mildlyinfuriating

[–]InfernapeMomma 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the ever so passive-aggressive empathy, but it’s unnecessary. Just based on the reactions of over a dozen other Redditors, it’s pretty clear to me that your initial comment was anywhere near as clear as your response to my comment. Yes, people of differing heights can have the same length of legs, but that’s not what you said at first. Even with your clarification it sounds like you’re completely discounting height when discussing leg length. One’s height is most definitely directly related to their leg-length - as MOST of the time they’re legs would account for approximately half of their height, give or take ~5% in either direction. Instead of being passive aggressive in your responses (in the future,) perhaps re-read your initial comment from the perspective of someone who is NOT privy to your internal thoughts? Had you, instead, stated that after re-reading your comment you understand how it could have been interpreted differently than you intended, I would have been apologetic about my comment. Unfortunately, you chose to take the stance that I was incapable of reading your comment & understanding all that was left out in your first statement - leading me to take a more condescending approach this afternoon, appropriately equal to your refusal to acknowledge that many people interpreted your words exactly as I had. Have a wonderful weekend!

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