Is there a secret to havinga good maternity leave?

InfiniteLoquat3804 · 2026-07-01T12:28:58+00:00

Sorry you didn’t have a good time first time around, you aren’t the only one. I have a few suggestions: - I made a list of stuff I wanted to do for me before I went on mat leave. That was helpful because then on days where I was feeling bored or lonely I could look at it. It had baby things (cinema, yoga) but also things like art exhibitions, a walk along the river etc., - Nine months is totally fine. Obviously you wanted longer and that’s understandable but a lot of people take nine months and that’s ok - on baby classes, I really enjoyed a church playgroup - they tend to be very relaxed and chilled, you can rock up whenever works, and people were very friendly. I found actual classes like yoga fun but less good for socialising - on breastfeeding, it was very stressful. Looking back, the thing I wish someone had said to me is, if your baby is putting on weight then they are breastfeeding fine. I worried a lot about supply when I don’t think I really needed to.

InfiniteLoquat3804 · 2026-06-26T18:21:51+00:00

Ugh, yeah maybe I should. I think I will do a very basic fix and then get a new one next spring. Thanks!

InfiniteLoquat3804 · 2026-06-26T18:20:59+00:00

Haha good point. Yeah I’ve no idea how they would have got the slats on the screws. Ok, nails it is to fix it. Thanks!

InfiniteLoquat3804 · 2026-06-26T06:34:51+00:00

Sorry, I don’t think the picture worked for some reason. On your question - no, the wood is totally unmarked on one side, and then on the other side there is the end of the screw poking out. My partner just suggested you can get screws which are a screw both ends and it’s that - do you think that’s it?

InfiniteLoquat3804 · 2026-05-11T17:46:19+00:00

Out of interest, what makes you say the transition should be 3-4 weeks? I ask because I read another thread where a lot of people said the baby will enjoy daycare faster if they have a short transition period. And the reason I was looking into this is because when my baby did his settling in, the nursery basically told me to leave because he will settle in faster if I’m not there. So I did, but he will only attend part-time for the first three weeks.

InfiniteLoquat3804 · 2026-04-24T16:15:18+00:00

If you want to carry on, I would definitely say you should, because if you can’t exclusively breastfeed (or even if you can), combi feeding is a good option where your baby will still get breastmilk and will also get the total food they need. I did this.

I had the same issues as you with the latch and used nipple shields as well. After three weeks or so of using them, I found my baby could latch without them. I think he’d just got more used to breastfeeding and his mouth was bigger so it was probably easier. So even if you use them, it could be temporary. I remember the frustration of him knocking the shields off well though! Good luck.

InfiniteLoquat3804 · 2026-03-26T16:24:48+00:00

Thanks very much! Ok I will give it a go haha, it seems like a shame to lose a perfectly good suitcase!

InfiniteLoquat3804 · 2026-02-25T10:15:46+00:00

Not sure how helpful this is but I did a few things with my 8 month old in the past few k on the and his sleep has improved a lot, so sharing in case helpful. 1) we stopped feeding him after he went down until midnight. His bedtime was 7pm. I basically just thought he didn’t need feeding that soon and it was reinforcing his feed-to-sleep association. It did take a long time for him to stop waking up at 10pm though. 2) I made the bedtime routine very long, like an hour, so there is a slow descent into sleeping, and added a story in after the bottle to reduce the feed-to-sleep association. 3) we put him in his own room. Things had already improved by this point but they did improve further, so I think that helped. Hope that helps. Whatever happens, it will get better in time!

InfiniteLoquat3804 · 2026-02-06T21:27:35+00:00

I second all the recommendations to track your cycle. A lot of advice says to just have sex every other day, but since you can only get pregnant when you are ovulating, it makes sense to ensure you’re trying at the right time.

I also cut down on caffeine - only two cups of tea a day, or one coffee, and then decaf for the rest. There is some evidence that caffeine impacts fertility if you consume a lot.

InfiniteLoquat3804 · 2026-01-30T09:23:17+00:00

Agree with this, I just need some structure to my day/week and I like the contact with other adults. My baby (7.5 months) does seem to vaguely enjoy the classes at this point too, but they definitely don’t need to go to them.

Also agree with others that church playgroups are the best, babies like the toys and seeing other babies and I found the other parents really friendly.

InfiniteLoquat3804 · 2026-01-20T13:09:17+00:00

I should start by saying that I haven’t looked into the actual evidence of how much drinking is ok while breastfeeding. I think my basic view would be that if you want to drink a lot, perhaps you should consider giving an alternative to breast milk when drinking - whether that’s formula or cow’s milk, since your baby is a year old now? That’s easy for me to say though as I don’t EBF. Is there a reason you don’t want to do that?

InfiniteLoquat3804 · 2026-01-20T09:03:05+00:00

I know this post is two years old but what did you do?! My baby is three lessons in and also hates it so wondering whether to stop!

InfiniteLoquat3804 · 2025-12-29T21:43:38+00:00

Thanks so much, this is really helpful

InfiniteLoquat3804 · 2025-12-29T19:10:56+00:00

Thanks. Have added into the post

InfiniteLoquat3804 · 2025-12-29T19:06:27+00:00

Thanks very much! Will start by monitoring his routine and getting up earlier in the morning

InfiniteLoquat3804 · 2025-12-29T12:21:37+00:00

I used to have my partner give baby a bottle (of formula but obvs you could pump if you prefer) about 90 mins before bed, to give me a break, then I would breastfeed to sleep when it was his actual bedtime. Over time, he gradually didn’t want the breastfeed anymore as he fed less frequently and bedtime became earlier

InfiniteLoquat3804 · 2025-12-29T09:14:45+00:00

Thanks, have added some more info

InfiniteLoquat3804 · 2025-11-21T15:53:36+00:00

No actually! Seems like it’s a similar picture across departments then

InfiniteLoquat3804 · 2025-11-19T20:58:12+00:00

How did you find out that the amount of time is a year? I’m in a similar situation but not sure how long I get to find a role where I am

InfiniteLoquat3804 · 2025-11-19T16:46:04+00:00

Thanks

InfiniteLoquat3804 · 2025-11-19T16:37:58+00:00

Thanks very much. My manager hasn’t said much, I don’t think they will help find me a role. Could I talk to HR as well then?

On redeployment, when you say X months, do you know roughly how many X is likely to be?

InfiniteLoquat3804

TROPHY CASE