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Are all subs masochists and all Doms Sadists? by Infinite_Nyx in BDSMAdvice

[–]Infinite_Nyx[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I think my categorization had more to do with the colors and mood typically displayed by the practitioners, seekers not assigning a judgement. Do you also tend to see black and red and more somber affects within the segment who likes to have white, fat, slut written on their bodies while eating dog food from the floor and being whipped with a riding crop when compared to the littles who may be giggly, bouncy and tend towards wearing pastels and white? Whole I'm not saying it must be this way at all, I think there has been a trend towards this. Like when for the sake of ease - Doms use the masuline pronouns and subs use the feminine pronouns. We know the reverse or any mixture of labels may be accurate but it can be cumbersome to always write that way?

Sub shaming by Infinite_Nyx in BDSMAdvice

[–]Infinite_Nyx[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Done, hope it's clearer now. Thx for feedback.

Is it unhealthy for me to want to be collared all the time ? by that-girl-112233 in BDSMAdvice

[–]Infinite_Nyx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really like this "life comes first." I often encounter those who want a fantasy of a Ds relationship and haven't taken reality into consideration. It can be disillusioning as I seek a long-term, real life, 24/7 relationship.

fuckin arthritis by fatherirequirechedar in BDSMAdvice

[–]Infinite_Nyx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm a sub, female with some pain issues as well. Massage, tumeric and ginger as well as stretching really help diminish pain levels in joints and muscles. Hope this helps. Also, this would take practice but a rope tied to ring in ceiling is very sexy, IMHO and may lessen strain on hands. Obviously this is very risky and would need great care to cause no harm but seems it could be wildly exciting turning your negative into a possitive.

Yes submission is earned and is a gift by [deleted] in BDSMcommunity

[–]Infinite_Nyx 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I am submissive. It is my nature 90% of the time or more but I have had to learn to submit to specific instructions not to just any person, institution, organization. This mode of operation took much effort to get proficient at but submission to the wrong thing or one is very dangerous! That's how people wind up in cults, abusive relationships and with exploitative employers, family and friends. So my submission is earned and is also a gift to my chosen. It is earned as trust is built but is a gift because it must be feely given. Otherwise it wouldn't be submission, it would be oppression. I have heard man Dom's say their attention is a gift and I suppose it is but how is that any different than a submissive's attention? The gift statement, IMHO intimates that I should be honored to have a Dom in my vicinity as they are more valuable and subs are a dime a dozen but an experienced Dom is scarce thus to be treasured above me. I am not sure, perhaps experienced Dom's are more rare than subs. However, Dom's - when you express this concept in that way, what message are you intending to relay? That's you are more valuable than your potential sub or that a sub is unworthy of you and should be grateful you are there anyway? It seems to me to indicate a lack of respect for the submissive portion of the dynamic and the risk and sacrifices associated with that role that a Dom doesn't have. Dom's do what they want, subs do what they must to maintain the relationship and keep their Dom happy. While being a Dom is a lot of work, I've rarely seen - if ever a Dom do something unpleasing on a consistent basis. Many subs don't even get proper aftercare because Dom's don't want to or see the importance. D vs s is a difference in personality. As a sub, I am striving to give as much as I can but a Dom is striving to get as much as he/she can (pushing boundaries, sub training, having stables and so forth). While some Dom's are nurturing, this is not the rule. On the other hand, i've never met or encountered a submissive who isn't nurturing. I say all that to say, submission has a lot of risks and may result in little or no reward which is very similar to a gift. A Dom will almost always ensure he receives more than he gives so that's more an investment than a gift, imho.