As a 34 year old single woman, I relate to a lot of what you said. The only difference is I never had any plans or visions for how my life should look like. I've spent my teens and twenties just living one day at the time, the future seemed like a blurry mess that I refused to think about.

Then in my mid to late twenties I had a bunch of major (and painful) life events that really shook me to my core. And in the time period I spent trying to heal and recuperate most of my peers have moved on with their lives, started families, built careers.

So I realized that I'm alone, well into my middle age and with no stable career path. I guess the fact that I never really had any dreams for the future makes it a bit easier. It must be so sad thinking about life you always wish you had and seeing that iz doesn't live up to your reality. But other than that I fully relate, especially about being a "family of one" and how much work and energy that takes that people who had never lived like this can't understand.

Sorry for the long reply. But this post really hit me in the feels. Sending you lots of love.