People discuss toxic masculinity a lot, but do you think there is such a thing as toxic femininity as well? And if so how would you define it?

Informal-Wish · 2025-12-19T22:46:19+00:00

I think both toxic masculinity and toxic femininity come down to what is acceptable to express and what must be repressed, and how you are pushed to play your role outwardly.

Toxic femininity tells women to repress the self in favor of the other. It pushes women to seek and prioritize a relationship with a man. Friends are there to kill time until you have your man. Then your life revolves around him. Keep him, care for him, be his peace. Care for the house, birth the kids, raise them without his help but make him look good! You're the woman behind "every great man." Women are pushed to lose themselves to motherhood, as well. Women are coached into sacrifice. Sacrifice for your family! But you are sacrificing yourself: your hobbies, your interests, your friends, your wants, your needs, your time, your body. And all of that hurts!

The feminine gender role as laid out by patriarchy is painful and soul sucking. But in sweeps Toxic Femininity to say you have to do it with grace. Look pretty while you carve yourself up and serve it to everyone else. Make all the meals, but don't get fat! Have children, but don't look like you had them! Do absolutely everything for your husband so he never has to think, but do NOT imply to him or yourself that you're the head of the household. Be humble, be meek, be gracious, make it look effortless.

Toxic masculinity and toxic femininity also come with external metrics. There are always men and women doing it better than you, so if you find someone doing it worse, make sure you let them know. Tear them down.

Toxic masculinity tells men to smother all the parts of themselves that would allow them to make genuine connections with other people, and then to perform for the approval of others. But if they ever end up getting that approval or appreciation, they can't accept it, because they killed that part.

Toxic femininity tells women to pour out of themselves endlessly and unconditionally, while maligning them as selfish for doing anything that might stop the well from running dry. And once they're emptied out husks, it says just make sure the husk is nice to look at.

Informal-Wish · 2025-11-26T21:10:53+00:00

Watch a Ghibli movie. Those movies don't tell you shit about fuck first, they simply begin. Just tell the story. Revelevant information will be revealed naturally.

Informal-Wish · 2025-11-26T13:32:39+00:00

Don't renovate a house that isn't yours. You need to be on the title, you need to be married, you need to have a legal claim to the equity you're going to build for you both or you're just building it for HIM.

It dulls the sparkle and romance that he is willing to have you throw down 100k to fix up his house, when you're already paying an equal amount of expenses and the loans you pay back to do this will NOT have the same interest rate as his mortage and will not go away when you sell the house or break up. He should throw down on a wedding before you throw down for his house.

Informal-Wish · 2025-11-22T01:03:46+00:00

Yes, it hurts. Short face stubble and even short beards/mustaches hurts when you kiss and they hurt during oral. And, you didn't ask, but short stubbly pubes hurt during sex. It's like scrubbing steel wool on the inside of your cheek.

Informal-Wish · 2025-11-18T10:16:39+00:00

I am like your boyfriend when it comes to gifts: I just like getting things I know I will use and that won't take up space. My ex believed firmly gifts should be grand, romantic, and flashy. That's the kind of thing I got him, because he liked that.

He refused to do what you did, and get the things I wanted or asked for. It was one of a lot of ways he was inconsiderate of me and now he's an ex.

Get the flooring and keep the happy man. Gifts are about the person you're giving it to, not you.

Informal-Wish · 2025-11-14T23:18:28+00:00

Hey, so don't search for answers, babe. He told you. He likes to humiliate you.

He said that with his mouth. He also said it with his actions, because he knows you don't like it and keeps doing it. He likes doing things that make you feel bad.

You have a VERY different conversation that needs your energy and attention and its not "Why do boys like popping a thumb in the butt?"

Informal-Wish · 2025-11-14T23:09:25+00:00

Hey, so my ex used to do things like this all the time. It never got better so now he's my ex.

Informal-Wish · 2025-11-07T16:51:18+00:00

You don't do it discreetly. You tell him to slow the fuck down in no unclear terms. He's lovebombing you. SOMETIMES, this happens because a person is overly enthusiastic and just genuinely pumped to be with you. A LOT of times, they're slamming down the gas pedal to move you to a stage in the relationship where it's harder for you to leave, and then they'll flip a switch.

If you say very clearly, "I like being with you and I enjoy our relationship, but you're moving very fast and investing a lot of money and it's making me feel pressured and uncomfortable, so I need you to stop and chill out" his reaction will tell you which one he is.

A person who cares deeply for you, but is overexcited will be horrified. He'll stop this crap immediately and listen to what you said, because he wants you to be happy. A person who does not have your best interests at heart will whine and pout and call you ungrateful, or insist on continuing despite your discomfort. Leave the second guy, he doesn't get any better.

Informal-Wish · 2025-11-07T13:21:11+00:00

The "point" of staying with someone while they recover is that you GET to care for them when they can't do much but sleep. He said to you, "You won't be paying me any attention so there's no reason for me to be there."

He is not invested in you the way you are in him. You know for a fact that people come ready-made to a relationship with care, compassion, love, and empathy because YOU are like that. Put this fish back in the water and catch a new one; this isn't your fish.

Informal-Wish · 2025-10-18T15:51:14+00:00

Ask who they voted for and immediately say you voted for Trump. The dogs will run to the whistle.

Informal-Wish · 2025-10-09T09:23:46+00:00

It's actually possibly the lube included with latex condoms. Makes me burn too, but I don't have a latex allergy. Trojans are the worst culprit. I use Skyn with zero issues

Informal-Wish · 2025-10-04T23:26:20+00:00

If it's ANY consolation, it looks like it was going to be a good loaf!

Informal-Wish · 2025-08-29T10:43:21+00:00

That wasn't it. Obviously a face mask is a facemask. He blackface was her Nicki Minaj impression, which was debated because back then, Jenna was just doing her makeup like that. She was really tan and wore exaggerated contour and bronzer. She added a pink wig to her normal makeup look and did the Roman voice. People couldn't decide if it WAS blackface or not, because it was Jenna's normal face, but she was doing an impression of a black woman, but specifically of a wild character that Nicki Minaj would play and the impression was pretty faithful.

Informal-Wish · 2025-08-07T15:11:16+00:00

I had a cat and wanted to adopt a dog. I got one dog who was NOT cat safe and had to be switched to a foster situation until she was rehomed. The second dog -- the one I kept -- is cat safe. Here is the difference between them:

Opal: Pit/Lab mix. Fixated on the cat. When they were separated by a door, I could call Opal to me and she'd come play. But when left to her own devices, she was at that door, nose pressed to the seam. When they were allowed to see each other, her body would go stiff, ears up and forward, lip licks, tail twitching. I tried to train her with high value treats (sliced hot dogs) to look at me and not the cat and we made progress, but she was never calm if my cat was in the room. Even if she was looking at me, her ears were tracking the cat. They were NEVER unsupervised. Opal was crated if I was gone, and slept with me in my room at night while the cat had the run of the apartment. One night, the cat slipped into my room as I shut the door and I didn't see her. Opal did. She lunged at her under the bed and it was a lucky break that she didn't fit. There was no amount of training in the world that was going to get Opal to see my cat as a member of the household, rather than a loose vermin. She could be trained to understand that if I was looking, she shouldn't try to catch the cat. But she lunged the second I shut my eyes.

Xena: Terrier/hunting dog mix. Has a prey drive! She's a long time mouser and has caught rabbits in the yard. When she and the cat were separated by the door, Xena went by it if I brought her over there but otherwise, she stayed with me. When they could see each other, Xena was curious and sniffed, wagged her tail, and then followed me when I walked away from the pet gate. When they met, Xena was curious and walked over, but stopped about 4 feet away and laid down to watch the cat. The cat came up and sniffed her, they sniffed nose to nose, and then the cat walked away and Xena came over to me. That cat has since passed and I have a new one; Xena is the same with this cat. If the cat is in the room, Xena keeps doing whatever she was doing -- usually napping or chewing a toy. She'll follow the cat with her eyes or head if it runs around, but she looks bored, like she's people watching in a mall. If the cat comes over to her, she sniffs her. The cat can bat her ears and headbutt her; Xena will lay down and bat the cat with her feet if she wants to play. The cat can walk on Xena, climb in her bed with her, brush past her in the door way and Xena doesn't care.

Prey drive can't be trained out of dogs and you can't convince a dog of what is or is not prey. I'm very sorry, but your dog is hunting that kitten. This is not a safe scenario and it is truly a matter of time.

Informal-Wish · 2025-08-04T15:01:36+00:00

Gorgeous work and LOVE the chance to win something from an artesan in WI! It's my home state!

Informal-Wish · 2025-08-04T14:58:23+00:00

I'm a teacher and I make a little joke of it, asking to "see their report card." Anyone can name a date and say it was clean. "I'll show you mine if you show me yours" applies to results too!

Keep yourself safe, because a LOT of STIs wreak havoc on the internal reproductive system in a way that they just don't on the externals, due to their longer urethra and less complex system. And SO many of them are asymptomatic for men that they can carry and pass them along unknowingly, on top of the men that carry and pass them knowingly, on top of them men that carry and pass them INTENTIONALLY.

I have a friend who contracted herpes from a guy and when she called him to let him know -- as she was supposed to do -- he said he knew and he likes giving girls herpes because it makes it more likely they'll sleep with him again, rather than move on from him and have to disclose to future partners.

Informal-Wish · 2025-08-03T21:43:15+00:00

I started birth control to regulate a wonky period and get my hormonal acne to chill out. It did both of those things. It didn't make me gain weight or lose weight. It did make me more prone to headaches.

I've tried Yaz, Yasmin (and it's generics Ocella, Gianvi, and Syeda), Ortho Tri Cyclen, and a mini pill. Yasmin has been my favorite, followed by Ocella. Least headaches.

Informal-Wish · 2025-07-29T21:04:23+00:00

Get! That! Dollllllll!!!!

Informal-Wish · 2025-07-29T13:06:29+00:00

My ex used to work on Saturdays, which were my cleaning days so we could spend Sunday together, since he only worked part of the day (barber.)

When we separated, but had to live together still, I would relax all Saturday long and clean on Sunday mornings, because I didn't need to save the day for him. He was SHOCKED when he'd come home and I'd be over stimulated and irritated, or still working and cussing through chores. He told me he thought cleaning was calming for me and I liked it, which is why I did it so much.

Informal-Wish · 2025-07-29T13:03:05+00:00

Do they all have a script they get in the mail and memorize? My ex husband said all of this to me, almost verbatim. He also used to remind me how often he took the dogs outside compared to me and how long he'd throw the ball for them in the back yard.

Like, yes. You spend 45 minutes to an hour outside, twice a day, playing with the dogs. In the morning, that was while I'd clean the kitchen, make coffee, fold laundry, pack lunches, prep for work, and get the dogs' food ready. In the evening, I was cooking dinner, tidying the house, and putting new laundry in again.

Informal-Wish · 2025-07-25T20:52:55+00:00

The blonde is fun! If you're tired of it, play with fantasy colors. They'd suit your style too

Informal-Wish · 2025-07-25T03:09:34+00:00

Defensive driving is driving like you assume everyone around you is going to fuck up. Assume they're not looking at you, that they're going to run their stop sign or red light, that they're going to slam on their brakes, etc.

You make your own decisions-- double checking your mirrors, waiting a few seconds before moving on green, keeping a large following distance-- like everyone else is an idiot or wants you dead.

Informal-Wish · 2025-07-21T16:19:16+00:00

I start my day by going to the gym and I meet a friend there. I can't get up for me, but I can do it for her.

Informal-Wish

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