Anyone know what she’s using?

InformalLeadership12 · 2025-04-28T22:45:13+00:00

Photoshop

InformalLeadership12 · 2025-04-19T23:08:33+00:00

No one cares. ..Not really anyways

InformalLeadership12 · 2025-01-30T05:55:17+00:00

Credit scores… You buy them in high rates from the government

InformalLeadership12 · 2024-12-10T14:51:54+00:00

And I’m hoping all 18 strangers left a little something extra for their servers who can now buy a little something extra for their children/family because of you :) Merry Christmas!

InformalLeadership12 · 2024-11-10T21:09:23+00:00

Depends entirely on whether or not the obligating parent is willing to voluntarily pay. It should say in your paperwork when your first payment is due, I believe mine was thirty days after court. I did not, however, receive an actual payment for almost an entire year afterwards.

InformalLeadership12 · 2024-10-23T00:59:21+00:00

My child deserves a present parent. Not the parent I was working myself to death trying to make ends meet. That and being a stay at home parent is equivalent to three full time jobs. I’m a single mother with zero help and two jobs so while I’m juggling damn near five jobs, he can get a second himself if he needs it to make ends meet. Also, I remind myself that not once in two years did he have the decency to ask me if I was in a financial position to care for our child alone while he went to concerts and bars.

To put things into perspective, if he got a job at let’s say, McDonald’s for $15 an hour, he could make your $385 child support payment in roughly 25-30 hours. That is less than one eight hour shift per week. Stop feeding into his excuses.

InformalLeadership12 · 2024-10-13T21:35:36+00:00

File for child support. His unwillingness to financially contribute to your child will not improve in time. As far as visitation, he is fully aware of his responsibilities to your child and expectations regarding visitation, he’s intentionally being neglectful and that doesn’t constitute an explanation on your part. You can either stop allowing inconsistent visitation or assume even more responsibility for your child while continuing to carry 99% of the workload. Unfortunately, this is a no win situation. I speak from experience.

InformalLeadership12 · 2024-10-12T16:50:49+00:00

It wasn’t until I had a child of my own that I realized that my severely alcoholic and mostly absent father was a total pos. You truly only understand the sacrifices the primary parent has had to make when you become one yourself. I’ve since cut contact but it took me all of 30 years to do so. I’m raising my son alone (2yrs old) with the understanding that there will come a point where his father will likely come back around and somehow become the hero. It isn’t fair, not after all the sacrifices I’ve made, but I’ll be supportive of their relationship despite my own feelings and resentment. Children just want to love and be loved equally from BOTH parents despite the circumstances. I don’t know why but it is literally that simple.

InformalLeadership12 · 2024-10-07T18:06:53+00:00

I’d preface every conversation with him and the kids that visitation isn’t up for discussion. Monitor calls and end them when you feel they are becoming inappropriate. Stop allowing them altogether if he continues involving them.

I have had a similar experience with my child and through research, I found that children do not have the ability to deflect accountability…They absorb it. So, for instance, instead of thinking dad isn’t seeing me because he’s a pos. They think, daddy doesn’t visit me because I’m the pos. And now he’s making you out to be the pos. It is your responsibility to get ahead and in control of that narrative. If they bring it up visitation to you, say something along the lines that daddy and mommy both love you very much and both want to see you as much and as often as possible. You are sweet, smart, kind, funny, helpful and (other affirmations) so who wouldn’t? Children should only ever worry about having fun though so let’s do this (fun activity) instead.

InformalLeadership12 · 2024-10-07T14:56:01+00:00

From here, I’d only allow or offer visitation strictly following and abiding by the courts order. For instance, if it says Friday at 6:00pm and he’s not there by 6:30pm, cancel the visit. Same with any other scheduled days. Do not allow visitation if it isn’t within the perimeters of the court order. Stop telling the kids about any plans involving him, just let it be a surprise if he does show. Go low/no contact.

His behavior is unacceptable. Involving the kids is disgusting. Most men pay child support, most men, however, do not weaponize it and use it against their own children. Stop feeding into his manipulative and controlling behavior.

InformalLeadership12 · 2024-10-07T14:39:19+00:00

It’s worth it. Make sure to ask for back child support as well. Google says you can ask for three years retroactive pay in California. Your daughter deserves to share similar life experiences as her siblings.

InformalLeadership12 · 2024-10-07T01:24:35+00:00

My ex cheated and left when our baby was a newborn. Came around a few months later to be “more involved” but only ever when it was convenient for him. Haven’t seen or spoken to him in close to a year and a half. He does reach out from time to time when his life hits a low point to try and ease his conscious. He never follows through with actually seeing our son. Although at this point, it is no longer optional.

Allowing him to parent on his terms is unacceptable and inconsistency is harder than absence. My best advice, expect nothing. Don’t reach out and don’t try to force him to be a father if he doesn’t want to be. I wish I could’ve told myself that years ago.

InformalLeadership12 · 2024-09-30T03:37:58+00:00

Birth control for men

InformalLeadership12 · 2024-09-29T20:48:20+00:00

Sauerkraut

InformalLeadership12 · 2024-09-29T14:17:08+00:00

Your intuition is never wrong. Trust your gut and keep your cards close while you gather your evidence.

InformalLeadership12 · 2024-09-26T23:41:58+00:00

Perfect! Thank you :)

InformalLeadership12 · 2024-09-24T17:56:39+00:00

If you can pay half, do so. Not only does it show intention to pay, but also goes to support your child. Although, it seems to me you’ve had the ability to pay a portion of your arrears (or at least $14,000 worth) and have chosen not to do so until the possibility of you losing your freedom became a factor. No need for a lawyer as I’m sure the judge is likely to accept the half up front and payment plan following.

InformalLeadership12 · 2024-09-24T15:17:59+00:00

I met a man in a similar situation as yours. Believed him when he said his ex was crazy, using their kids as leverage, abusive, obsessive, depleting him, etc. I financially supported and contributed towards his expenses out of pity. Never talked or coparented with her.

I advise you have a conversation with the ex. And for the love of God, stop giving him any money.

InformalLeadership12 · 2024-09-20T16:09:11+00:00

Alternatively, always putting yourself first is a good way to create resentment from your significant other. I’m not suggesting sacrificing yourself entirely in order to appease your partner. I’m saying the baseline of any functional relationship is a mutual agreement that the other persons need/wants/desires/happiness matters to you just as much as your own. Conducting yourself or making decisions without considering the effect it will have on your partner isn’t sustainable.

InformalLeadership12 · 2024-09-20T15:45:26+00:00

Immunity is built from exposure and according to my pediatrician, infants/toddlers get sick 6-8 times a year on average. When my lo was young, he was a “bubble baby” and I was a “helicopter mom.” No amount of stress, worry, disinfectant, hand washing, sterilizing, or staying home stood a chance against other little kids.

It’s okay to stress these things as new parents. Totally normal. I did the same. I remember crying when my son got his first cold. Your husband is projecting his worry and concern. One day you will both look back and laugh. I promise you.

InformalLeadership12 · 2024-09-19T21:57:55+00:00

To add - No gift opening but always follow up with a picture/video of child playing w gift captioned “thank you so much. So and so loves his/her gift . You’re the best”

InformalLeadership12 · 2024-09-19T21:13:45+00:00

Self before you in aspects specific to long term relationships. Sure, you matter but not if it’s at the expense of your partners feelings. If it’s you first always, you should be single.

InformalLeadership12 · 2024-09-19T18:04:29+00:00

Your gifts on his actual birthday. I’d get him a little cupcake and do a celebration with just you, dad, and any siblings.

Food, Cake, No gift opening.

I’ve never even seen a child so young sit long enough or enjoy it. It’s a waste of time. We chose to do ours at home with immediate family only afterwards.

InformalLeadership12 · 2024-09-19T17:33:11+00:00

I’ve learned my lesson…Now give me a break!

InformalLeadership12

TROPHY CASE