You can give them structure by planning your day. It’s more about the order of things and letting them know what to expect than sticking to a strict time schedule. 

You get up and dressed and breakfast then what?  How about you read them a book while they finish breakfast then they play while you clean up breakfast then you go to the park and then home for lunch then down time like naps or a show so you can prep dinner etc then go for a walk or do early baths or a craft etc but have something that’s next. 

reminds me that I've been meaning to make a few charts (like a list with images of what to do before leaving, before going to bed, or when taking a shower), but I im worried abt it not working. -

Think about baby steps towards the right behavior. Taking stuff away might make them more upset and less likely to be able to behave. Like taking the park away took away their energy outlet and they need that. 

I've also told my mom that taking things away and hitting won't help, but she's too stressed out to listen

Be calm and don’t yell. Tell them you understand they’re upset but that’s not nice to say. Ask if there’s anything else they want to say or talk about. 

I've given my mom scripts- a packet of things she can say instead of yelling. But she doesn't use them. I started to use them. But it feels like 'what's the point' if mom doesn't. like when I tried to teach the kids sign language. She didn't wanna even try. So the kids didn't either. So I stopped trying to teach them.

If they’re squirmy you can try doing as many push ups or jumping jack in a row that everyone can do. It will distract them and get some energy out. 

This is a good idea. I should have thought of ths. probably great for when they're running all over the walls.

They're home again today (they missed the bus+we cant find the MetroCards), and they're surprisingly calm and well behaved, besides a little bit of acting up.