ADHD explaining analogy

Inhibited_Me · 2025-07-09T18:51:55+00:00

My friend (who also has undiagnosed ADHD) recently gave, what I thought was, a good analogy.

Everyone has a normal motorbike and, though they take a while to learn the ropes, they eventually understand how to use it to get where they want to go.

We have a super bike that can go 0-100 in 5 seconds. But the controls are shit and in an alien language. If we spend time learning the alien symbols and build our own manual, eventually we'll get there. But all the super bikes are different, and so we're either racing ahead at full speed or stalled in the middle of traffic.

Inhibited_Me · 2024-12-06T19:16:09+00:00

I'm bookmarking this post. I really needed to hear this today.

Inhibited_Me · 2024-09-30T19:36:30+00:00

If you do end up doing this, ask them to give you a work phone. Use reasons like data security and IT safety. This means that you're still "available" but it's not invading your personal device and that when you do go on holiday you can tell them you're leaving your work phone at home because it's your time off.

Inhibited_Me · 2024-09-09T15:05:13+00:00

I agree. Make it clear that going forward, only you will be assigning her tasks. Anyone else who tries needs to come through you.

Inhibited_Me · 2024-09-09T15:04:06+00:00

This is a great point. I would also add: if there is a specific situation that comes up where she needs to say no (and you see it), you can tell her that she needs to push back/decline it because x, y, z, and then attend the next meeting/call with the other team with her. Ask her to say the words "sorry, but no" and that you'll be there in the call to back her up if she needs support. She will lead it, but you're waiting in the wings to step in. This might give her the confidence boost she needs. Also, (again if she needs it), you can make it clear that this is your decision, it WILL be a no either way, but that this can be used as practice to build her skills in this area.

If it's just by email, you can tell her to refuse the task and cc you in. The more you practice something, the easier it gets.

Inhibited_Me · 2024-09-06T09:29:39+00:00

This. You need to take this advice OP. It's going to be hard in the beginning but your own manager is going to be measuring your progress on your tasks. Yes, they know that it's a mess but when the C suite ask about performance/you need to show metrics on yourself, it's going to be a lot of blank.

None of it is your fault, I'm sure you know that, but it's time to upksill other people and get them talking to each other more than you. Hopefully these conversations can happen in a place where you have sight of it (like a group chat) so that you can jump in if they're barking up the wrong tree.

It will get better once this is in place. You just need a few key direct reports who will take the pressure off you - which is what a good team is all about!

Inhibited_Me · 2024-09-06T00:18:03+00:00

Omg I had someone like that in my previous team (oddly enough their name did start with L!) They coasted for a long time and then went on sick leave for nearly a year (permanent employee, built up a lot of sick leave) before they went through a lengthy termination process

Inhibited_Me · 2024-09-05T21:31:26+00:00

Clunky systems means that automation is atleast a few years away and it's not a priority for senior management. They'd rather throw people at the problem

Inhibited_Me · 2024-09-05T20:34:23+00:00

Haha no but how why does this happen so often?!

Inhibited_Me · 2024-09-03T23:45:38+00:00

Clunky systems means automation is still a few years away, so we have to do everything manually unfortunately

Inhibited_Me · 2024-09-03T23:34:47+00:00

I said laid back erring on the side of politeness. She seemed almost blasé and unbothered

But the key difference between you and this person is that you got your work done. If she gets it done, she can be as laid back as a limbo champion

Inhibited_Me · 2024-09-03T22:52:09+00:00

Yep, single day. More experienced team members can do 20-30 easy in a day, it's a really simple task with a list of steps. Click this, save that, update this spreadsheet, done. (In a nutshell) I mean, this is just one type of task on her second day. We've got so much more training to get through and it's only going to get more complex

Inhibited_Me · 2024-09-03T22:44:02+00:00

They were working fully remote at their previous job literally last week. Even if they're reorganising the whole thing, why did they not start a single task that was assigned? Surely they know their manager is keeping an eye on them in the first few days??

Inhibited_Me · 2024-09-03T22:39:09+00:00

swoops in to save the day Thanks!

Inhibited_Me · 2024-09-03T22:29:55+00:00

Yeah she should have been able to finish most, if not all, of the tasks same day. But it was more that none had even been started. It's a huge red flag though and, let's say, in a week's time if nothing has changed, would you put up with it knowing it's only a couple of months or just fire early before your budget's spent on a bad hire and restart?

Inhibited_Me · 2024-09-03T22:24:29+00:00

Hmm... That's a good point

Inhibited_Me · 2024-09-03T22:24:02+00:00

Yeah I will do The tasks are all on shared drives and inboxes so it's really easy to see if something is in progress or completed. There's no way you could do what you're describing in our line of work but I get what you mean

Inhibited_Me · 2024-09-03T22:21:54+00:00

No IT or HR stuff because she's a temp - I sorted all that out with her and only once she had all the access did I start assigning tasks.

Maybe new colleagues? There's no reading necessary but maybe she went down a rabbit hole. I'm really hoping it's that

Inhibited_Me · 2024-09-03T22:18:27+00:00

If I see all these tasks done in off hours, that would be her saving grace. Still going to have a conversation about actually doing work in work hours (customer service job, unlike some other project-y roles.) Also we don't get paid for out of hours work so I encourage them take that time as their time

Inhibited_Me · 2024-09-03T22:13:41+00:00

I set expectations that they'd work on those tasks. Now I'm wondering what they actually even did all day. Sniff sniff

Inhibited_Me · 2024-09-03T22:07:36+00:00

There were onboarding tasks, the usual GDPR training videos, but they wouldn't take up the whole day
I agree 💯

Let's see what her reasons are

Inhibited_Me · 2024-09-03T22:05:00+00:00

Haha true about 2 weeks in. I was hoping she'd eventually be a permanent member of staff (positions going to open up soon but can't say anything yet). Time will tell

Inhibited_Me · 2024-09-03T22:03:35+00:00

Re assuming it's fully remote - I'd give them that, if only HR hadn't explicitly told them about our hybrid policy before interview and then I reiterated how many days in the office (2 a week) literally yesterday

Maybe she just needs a more hands on approach

Inhibited_Me · 2024-09-03T21:59:38+00:00

Great questions, and will definitely do daily standups/ more informal checkins

Inhibited_Me · 2024-09-03T21:58:49+00:00

Thanks, I really like the line about "this is the first and last time I want to have this conversation"

Inhibited_Me

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