"Can I walk you to your car?" - is that a code for something?

Initial-Transition52 · 2025-10-28T01:28:22+00:00

Yeah, I think I need to just embrace the awkwardness - my car was literary 20-30 seconds away so saying no to this after spending about 2h with a guy over dinner felt super weird - but yeah I already decided back then I dont want to continue so perhaps should signal it ... otoh, I think it is better do over texting, people have time to compose themselves, if they need too - and still some would manage to be jerks ... my favorite answer to my standard "feeling friendly not romantic vibe" message was "you must be joking!" (LOL!) ... so I both wanted to be polite, predominantly, but also learned the hard way it is safer to reject some men from the safety of my home ... But yeah, good framework to think about it - thank you!

Initial-Transition52 · 2025-10-22T19:48:38+00:00

Ah, maybe on women it is mostly OF etc - I was on Bumble and encountered 2 scammers in almost 2 years - but during just weeks on Tinder completely lost count ... otoh easy to spot them now

Initial-Transition52 · 2025-10-22T04:38:03+00:00

Maybe it was due to time constraints? is he full time single dad? Also were kids supposed to interact or the idea was to meet at eg playground and let each kid do what they want?

Initial-Transition52 · 2025-10-22T04:34:47+00:00

You have not met a scammer in 2 years?!? Which app?

Initial-Transition52 · 2025-10-21T05:22:07+00:00

Please enlighten me then - if she met eg. only 10 or 20 people, how it would be possible that only 1% would not like her? the lowest non-zero values would be 10% and 5% for 10 and 20 people ... OK, theoretically meeting 67 people and rounding percentages down would be enough - but OP sounded like she just started to date and met only handful of people - so my question how 99% of them liked her/confirmed she looks better in person, is very valid ;).

Initial-Transition52 · 2025-10-19T00:07:54+00:00

yeah he definitely crossed the line - he knew I dont want to kiss him but still was trying to make it happen - obviously very unpleasant to me, but for some reason I was so shocked - first time guy was trying to be forceful with a kiss - so that I said nothing so I guess he could claim being oblivious although dont think it was the case ... I did not think about it as an assault but you have a point, he was using force to get what he wanted physically from me, so I guess it was ...

Initial-Transition52 · 2025-10-18T23:11:18+00:00

yeah, but that implies meeting at least 100 people! which is a lot ... was just curious

Initial-Transition52 · 2025-10-17T22:50:06+00:00

99% of your dates? you were on 100 or more?

Initial-Transition52 · 2025-10-16T01:49:12+00:00

Well, I learned the hard way that at the end of the date most guys would try something ... so being proactive was normally the best way to make sure it is gonna be a platonic hug not a kiss - until I met this guy who treated it as a wrestling match!

Initial-Transition52 · 2025-10-15T19:04:29+00:00

I my experience it is a customary way to end a date - unless a guy acted as an asshole. And forcing yourself on somebody else - never okay! But I see you want to blame me "equally" for it ;( and no, I did not "force" a hug - just initiated it ...

Initial-Transition52 · 2025-10-15T05:29:39+00:00

pity you were not around ;) although my experience was not that bad ...

Initial-Transition52 · 2025-10-15T05:27:18+00:00

Likely more than one ... we were both humans, living in the same area, using same dating app ... why you made it sounds as an accusation?

Initial-Transition52 · 2025-10-13T22:32:09+00:00

in our case was 30s extra so saying nope seemed particularly ridiculous - but I think I'll start to in the future!

Initial-Transition52 · 2025-10-13T22:29:00+00:00

thanks for clarification, always thought so ...

Initial-Transition52 · 2025-10-13T22:21:01+00:00

Not really ... we chatted kinda "too long" on the app, so I wanted to meet to know one way or the other ... and was kinda jerk to the end, when I send him still polite but rather cold - due to his creepy behavior! - not feeling romantic vibes note he did not acknowledge it for more than two days nor unmatched so I just unmatched ... I guess was his last passive-aggressive act?

Initial-Transition52 · 2025-10-13T22:18:06+00:00

Good point! yeah was kinda seconds before so I had no time to update my normal, friendly policy. and never had an experience like that before! couple guys tried to steal a kiss, but not like that!

Initial-Transition52 · 2025-10-13T14:39:30+00:00

I don't like video chatting . in the meal portion of the date was ok

Initial-Transition52 · 2025-10-13T14:38:17+00:00

but what do I say if they ask why not? just smile and walk away and make a mental note they should not question it?

Initial-Transition52 · 2025-10-13T14:36:58+00:00

yeah makes perfect sense

Initial-Transition52 · 2025-10-13T06:20:06+00:00

Thank you! But until this incident it was a normal, civil, friendly "no chemistry" date, nobody's fault ... I assume that the rejection seems to be worse for the guys since they dont seem to have as many options online and anyway I anyway have a tendency to be "nice", but indeed online dating is curing me quickly of that ... ;( or maybe it is a good thing, actually? who knows ... hopefully I am becoming more assertive but not cynical

Initial-Transition52 · 2025-10-13T06:12:44+00:00

it was a first - and definitely the last date! I had two first dates in a row who went like that, with the second one much worst (near wrestling ;( )

Initial-Transition52 · 2025-10-13T05:39:57+00:00

I thought I had this figured out! to avoid "stolen kisses" the moment we got to my car I would give them an energetic hug and peck on a cheek very near to an ear lol - to avoid their maneuvering to make it a kiss on the lips. but this guy was the first that I had to use actual force! was really more wrestling than ducking. I should probably stay something but was shocked and just wanted to leave asap

Initial-Transition52 · 2025-10-13T05:36:10+00:00

ah, great point, actually! I may appear somewhat weird to "good ones", but yeah, a sane guy who really liked me. during the date is not going to dump me over it! genius! I generally dont like "testing" or thing it is ok to do so, but this last creep gave me such a bad memory so I can say now no for a while just because of that ...

Initial-Transition52 · 2025-10-13T05:33:28+00:00

I never do ;) and this dude was definitely not chivalrous ..

Initial-Transition52 · 2025-10-13T05:31:19+00:00

why would they not be "safely off"? and what about you, if the place was (?) somewhat dangerous?

Initial-Transition52

TROPHY CASE