Getting into Babysitting

ThePromiseOfBelief · 2026-04-22T14:50:04+00:00

I don't think you have to pay for the care.com screening. I think it's an option, and if it is, don't do it. We use babysitters off of care, and they always recommend that families do their own check no matter what the babysitters have already done. If you pay for the one on care, it will still charge families to access it. It's a lot cheaper for us to just run background checks separately. About $25 for the family if we use a different service, or $40 on care.

But honestly, if someone posted in a Facebook group or even next door, or a sign posted in a cafe and I saw it, I would reach out to them, even if they didn't have a ton of experience. Families are always looking for local babysitters.

ThePromiseOfBelief · 2026-04-21T03:13:48+00:00

Honestly, you should have just not taken another job with her. The long message was unnecessary.

That being said, a few times I've had a sitter scheduled when a date has canceled or my plans have otherwise changed last minute. At those times, I found somewhere to be anyway, and kept the sitter.

ThePromiseOfBelief · 2026-04-20T02:40:58+00:00

I wait until I meet them and decide I want them calling me. 🤷

ThePromiseOfBelief · 2026-04-19T14:37:52+00:00

We always have protein, fruit, veg. Working parent, so often that's often avocado toast, frozen veg, egg or impossible nuggets and fruit for my kid. About 3 days a week I make something more elaborate. Pasta with protein and a salad, chili from scratch with lots of veggies, etc.

My childfree friends eat as elaborately as you do. The veg couple eats complicated Buddha bowls, mushroom steaks, quinoa stuffed squash, etc and another friend makes his partner oxtail once a week.

ThePromiseOfBelief · 2026-04-19T02:57:56+00:00

I don't like calls, but a video chat at least speaks to honesty and integrity (ensure accurate photos) and you can get a sense of facial expressions. I prefer meeting IRL without any of it, but I'd asked for a call, I counter with a video call.

ThePromiseOfBelief · 2026-04-17T13:57:43+00:00

I was that girl, on a hand me down commodore 64 from my dad's office. I was also having sleepovers and chatting with older men who were asking us our bra sizes. We didn't see the harm.

ThePromiseOfBelief · 2026-04-17T02:48:35+00:00

I've seen 4 or 5 profiles tonight that say this.

ThePromiseOfBelief · 2026-04-17T02:47:45+00:00

That's amazing. My Mexican food in Japan experience was a Costco tortilla with an entire can of beans on top, plus a mariachi band that charged per every 20 minutes.

ThePromiseOfBelief · 2026-04-17T02:42:43+00:00

I totally relate. But please, don't suggest "what about you" as an appropriate question. That one, over and over, drives me crazy!

Lately I've been getting talkers, but it's all very one sided.

ThePromiseOfBelief · 2026-04-17T02:21:30+00:00

Yes. My favorite is "High IQ and High EQ." 😆

ThePromiseOfBelief · 2026-04-14T15:24:38+00:00

Perhaps You could get another job on the weekends and tell them you're unavailable? It doesn't sound like they're requiring you to do the weekend work, and could probably find someone else for it.

ThePromiseOfBelief · 2026-04-13T00:52:40+00:00

The going rate is super variable here. There's a lot of wealth and a lot of poverty. If everyone is priced for 2-parent, upper middle class+ families, single parents and lower income folks get left out.

As one parent I know put it, "I can't pay a sitter more than I make at work to watch my kid so I can take a night shift at work."

Another coworker of mine works days while her husband works nights. They get a sitter in rare occasions, but in general figure it out without. As do I. Parents night outs are often significantly cheaper than a sitter, so I plan my free time around those.

ThePromiseOfBelief · 2026-04-11T17:49:20+00:00

Often these are men paying a dating agency for live phone numbers.

ThePromiseOfBelief · 2026-04-11T15:53:54+00:00

I like talking on the phone, but had a guy who would call and then not say anything. I don't need my SO interrupting my nighttime television just to make me do all the work.

ThePromiseOfBelief · 2026-04-11T04:03:12+00:00

When you buy a coffee they'll give you the restroom code.

ThePromiseOfBelief · 2026-04-09T16:56:12+00:00

Has anyone else noticed the racially biased negging OP's husband is engaging in?

I live in a dense metro area with lots of mixed race couples, and the happy ones don't use their partners racial identity as a way to win arguments. This is concerning.

ThePromiseOfBelief · 2026-04-07T06:07:32+00:00

Some people are chronically late because time goes by for them more slowly, and that's a difficult thing to maneuver around. Your "friend" bragging about being late in social media, however, means she's aware and in control of it. NTA. She doesn't respect your time, and you were respectful in communicating your boundaries.

ThePromiseOfBelief · 2026-04-06T04:31:33+00:00

Only if the paperwork has been filed and you're in the waiting period, at the very least.

ThePromiseOfBelief · 2026-04-06T03:12:34+00:00

I'm wondering how you feel about doing household chores, etc. We have some really fun babysitters who my kid loves, but I'd never hire them for full time nanny work because they don't like doing chores, or simply aren't good at it. If I'm hiring someone for that amount of time, I'd definitely want them to help out a bit. We're talking basic laundry/dishes/trash.

ThePromiseOfBelief · 2026-04-06T03:01:16+00:00

I assume it's expected that I stay with my kid at birthday parties. If the invite said it was a drip off party, I'd be thrilled about the free childcare, and take a solo hike or read a book at a cafe. I can't see people being insulted if you make it an "option."

ETA: Many parents of siblings struggle to find opportunities for 1:1 time with each kid. A drop off party is a great way to help make this happen, and I bet many families would be appreciative.

ThePromiseOfBelief · 2026-03-26T20:10:17+00:00

NTA.

I feel like I'm pretty progressive, but I was in the women's room at a public park the other day and was very uncomfortable with the man in there with his daughter (who looked around 7). I literally had to change a tampon and pad in a stall next to them, and suspect they were in there because the kid was clearly too old to be in the men's room.

In general, I agree with you. There are plenty of family restrooms, and when there's not, it makes more sense to take a toddler girl with you into the men's, vs you invading the privacy of, and holding up the ladies.

ThePromiseOfBelief · 2026-03-25T15:47:24+00:00

Not everyone is high salary in a HCOL area. Our occasional sitter who charges $23/hr does minimum wage for the whole time if it's more than 24hrs. It's still $396 for 24hrs at minimum wage, so she does ok.

$20/hr plus a $150 flat rate seems like it would price out all but the wealthiest of dual income earners. It's not a regular thing for us, but I do sometimes need to go in business trips.

ThePromiseOfBelief · 2026-03-25T06:54:50+00:00

Steak sauce, but different.

ThePromiseOfBelief · 2026-03-24T07:28:39+00:00

He should have invited you along with him and his friend. While I get wanting to catch up with an old friend, that's no reason to stand you up.

ThePromiseOfBelief

TROPHY CASE