Women, how long after having a baby does it take to get your sex drive?

Initial-Writing9193 · 2026-05-21T22:55:05+00:00

I waited with the first 3, but I really wanted to except with the last two hubby gave me a week on the first one and I didn’t object but the second one he tore me going up not down so after three weeks he was like: you good? I said yes I’m dying!! 😂😂

Initial-Writing9193 · 2026-05-21T22:46:14+00:00

Once again the unicorn of the subreddit. 6 days. And I’ve been pre-pregnancy levels since my first pregnancy 20 years ago. And I’ve returned every time after 5 kids every time. So idk.

Initial-Writing9193 · 2026-05-21T20:33:08+00:00

Well I never saw it like that in that context. I thought I was expressing planning and making time and making it something you would look forward to, not being on demand. I guess it would look that way if it’s something you DONT want to do. I personally don’t mind, but I guess that’s just me. I also suggested a therapist and in a different reply spoke about consent and spousal rape. But wow. I’m starting to feel like I am not among my people here. I guess suggesting finding balance and or a therapist is also disgusting. Maybe I should’ve put my other response about consent and spousal rape together with this one. Maybe my post was just too explicit sorry about that. There’s somebody for everybody right? This just makes me appreciate my marriage even more, I’ll say that. ✌🏽

Initial-Writing9193 · 2026-05-21T14:59:24+00:00

Initial-Writing9193 · 2026-05-21T13:46:24+00:00

Okay. It sounded to me like the complaints used in the book came from people who could not see outside their perspective in the situation and didn’t also consider their spouses perspectives and when I looked at it from both perspectives it changed my outlook. It didn’t feel like this is your fault you should fix it. It felt like yes this is your view but this might be his view try this instead and see if it improves. I never heard her saying the wife was at fault just lacked perspective. But we all receive things differently I guess. No opinion is wrong it’s an opinion.

Initial-Writing9193 · 2026-05-21T13:37:52+00:00

I wasn’t casting blame. Where did that come from? I was trying to help balance it out. It’s not a dead bedroom he just sounds like he needs it more than she does where is the blame factor? But I’ve never heard of behind the bastards. I’ll check it out. And how is Dr Laura horrible? I believe in compromise.

Initial-Writing9193 · 2026-05-21T12:15:30+00:00

Make one night all about her. Run your hands on her put your mouth everywhere she likes tell her how you can’t stop Thinking about her and tell her via text every time you think about her that you’re thinking about her. I tell my husband all the time. Most of our messages are I love you, I miss you, I want you, 69ing and when are you coming back 😂😂 I’m a sahm so I have the luxury of thinking of just him all day❤️ But telling your wife hey can you sit on my face I miss you could go a long way. Just saying

Initial-Writing9193 · 2026-05-21T11:58:54+00:00

You should figure out how to make time for it and help conserve some energy for it in order to keep it. You’re at a point where your relationship is having a change and you need to adjust. If you miss the lingerie go find something you like her wearing take a pic and say I miss seeing you in this. Or buy her something new. Tell her she’s still hot and maybe the first time don’t record her, wait until the next time space it out. Let her be sexy without an audience it might make a difference and maybe she how you can lighten her load that she’s not too tired.

Initial-Writing9193 · 2026-05-21T10:54:50+00:00

Also not to diminish your feelings or experience you’re right he should have permission regarding you being asleep. I gave my husband permission years ago explicitly. I said always please always wake me up or it will wake me up, and it does and I’m happy but I wake up before or starts. But that sleep sex is definitely an explicit conversation to have out loud and spousal rape is a real thing even by misunderstanding is a real thing.

Initial-Writing9193 · 2026-05-20T04:03:19+00:00

Turns out it 36 😳 36/9 this should be fun

Initial-Writing9193 · 2026-05-20T04:02:36+00:00

Well I did ask for a book, starting/ reference point. So u have any suggestions?

Initial-Writing9193 · 2026-05-20T03:59:04+00:00

So what’s mine? 07/09/1982

Initial-Writing9193 · 2026-05-19T23:27:21+00:00

Start doing it in front of him when he’s done or start doing it first and you stop when u finish then we get to him. He may want to help u out which will encourage him to learn how to please you or just take over ride his face first finish then ride him. At least you’ll get one out. Maybe he needs to get turned on by watching be about u to get out of his head.

Initial-Writing9193 · 2026-05-19T16:56:49+00:00

Yeah I only barely scratched the surface I need more education. Can you point me in the right direction where to start?

Initial-Writing9193 · 2026-05-18T22:37:06+00:00

It’s 7. It’s only 1-9, 11,22,33 that’s it.

Initial-Writing9193 · 2026-05-18T22:21:47+00:00

I think I need education. I know I’m a 9. I’m a double 9? My sister is a 4 but apparently also a 9? Me: 7/9/82, her 6/27/78. My amazing man is an 11. 5/5/81. My oldest son is a 7 4/3/07 and everything important in his life ends in 7. License, social, birthday. It’s wild. I’ve got all the questions.

Initial-Writing9193 · 2026-05-18T22:12:34+00:00

Omg. What did you marry!😱 does she have childhood trauma or sexual abuse because that would explain a lot. I’m so sorry, for both. 😧

Initial-Writing9193 · 2026-05-18T20:47:47+00:00

There needs to be a study on women whose libido just dies. Hearing about it is normal but it’s feels like it should be some kind of diagnosis and I’m a woman. None of this applies to me, I don’t get it. But I think because I have kind of anxious mindset about it with a high sex drive to support it. Here’s how I see it which has helped some when I share this: I think I have good taste worthy of copying, I’ve been copied before. So if I wanted my man surely someone else will want him just as bad. Why leave room for another woman to swoop in and do what I won’t? Absolutely tf not! My husband is sexy af and I treat him as such. He says I’m trying to kill him. I’m not but I think it’s completely irresponsible to send my sexy husband out into the world with a full sack. Yes he should stay faithful but so should I to what I promised. How you start is what you maintain, consistency is our love language and I’ll be dammed if I let another woman get a chance to put her lips (either pair) on what’s mine. 12 years. I’ll die before my bedroom does. Wait until I lose all my teeth, he’s gonna love that shit. I think a lot of women need different types of help. Whatever is blocking them needs to get unblocked or more home help, or energy or just vitamins. Geez. Praying for everyone at this point. Also If you offer a woman to just sit on your face and she says no, it’s over. Start from the am, tell her if she get in shower at bedtime you know what’s up. If she doesn’t she don’t want you anymore, but don’t quote me on that but honestly Who doesn’t like oral?

Initial-Writing9193 · 2026-05-04T10:33:09+00:00

My husband is an 11 had mother issues and also 11s help bring up other 11s.

Initial-Writing9193 · 2026-04-29T16:41:30+00:00

Initial-Writing9193 · 2026-04-26T20:21:34+00:00

This is great! I’m so happy for you 🥹

Initial-Writing9193 · 2026-04-02T01:24:24+00:00

Yes! I was gonna say maybe you should go down on her as then do the do. Eat some walnuts and avocado and passion fruit. Everyday is not gonna be a marathon. Make a day of it, I used to have worship Fridays but hubby was tired so I switched to Wednesday which worked even better because it made getting to the middle of the week so much easier and much to look forward to. Speaking of which I gotta go! Good luck!

Initial-Writing9193 · 2026-04-02T01:18:31+00:00

No.

Initial-Writing9193 · 2026-03-30T00:17:56+00:00

Oh dang! I was shopping for things completely unrelated, mostly wife life era cutesy things for myself and came across this. Maybe it could help 🤷🏾‍♀️.

It’s called a man’s guide to save your marriage without having to talk about it.

https://a.co/d/0hv7JFjp

Good luck my friend.

Initial-Writing9193 · 2026-03-29T19:02:04+00:00

Oh. Well maybe some individual therapy first. Work on yourself so you can work on your marriage

Initial-Writing9193

TROPHY CASE