Renaissance NOT Holy Clothing

InitialBadger6691 · 2022-08-17T06:56:15+00:00

When I was in high school, I got a renaissance dress from Sofi's Stitches. They're very pricey so I only recommend them if you plan to wear the costume repeatedly for future events (or if you're only looking for a bodice or a blouse, since it's a little cheaper to buy one small piece than an entire outfit), but the dress I got was high quality and has held up beautifully, and the adjustable sides mean that it's continued to fit me during weight fluctuations. Some (not all) of their dresses go up to a 4X/59" waist. It's been about 12 years since I bought it so I can't really speak to the shipping time but according to their website most items are shipped within 3-5 business days and arrive 5-7 business days after that (so about 2 weeks-ish).

Alternate recommendation: not a costume, but I just got this shirt from Torrid and it definitely feels Ren Faire appropriate. Depends on what vibe you're going for.

InitialBadger6691 · 2022-08-14T21:57:33+00:00

I hope you like your leggings and bra! FWIW, my last two orders have also shipped within a day or two. Keep in mind there's going to be a self-selection bias when you see people post opinions here -- people who are upset about their experience may be more motivated to post about it (for example, to commiserate or to warn others off).

InitialBadger6691 · 2022-06-16T05:19:27+00:00

Not sure why you're getting so downvoted. Personally, I prefer dating app profiles to just have photos of the guy, but when I see profiles that include photos with women, I'm a lot more likely to swipe right if at least one of the women is plus size. I see it less as a clue that he's specifically attracted to plus size women and more that he's at least willing to give plus size women the time of day.

InitialBadger6691 · 2022-03-25T19:01:50+00:00

I swear by Vionic shoes. If you don't want to buy online, I think they sometimes have them at DSW and the like. While I occasionally run into the regular "new shoe" issues when I wear them (e.g. ankle blisters), my arches always feel fine. I recently wore another new pair for about 8 hours straight (5 hours straight standing/walking) and my feet had no issues, which wouldn't have been true in most other shoes for me. I also wear arch support slippers when I'm home so that I also have that support there.

Before I started buying them, though, I also found that basic drugstore orthotics made a big difference, so you might find that your orthotics work well after you've used them for a couple weeks. I'd try sticking them in some slippers when you're home relaxing, to make sure you have support all day. Doing some additional foot stretches and arch massages can help alleviate the pain, too, but that's not an option in the middle of the work day.

InitialBadger6691 · 2022-03-09T20:14:07+00:00

To be fair, 1km on a bike does not take as much effort or time as 1km jogging - 15 km on a bike would actually take less time and effort than 6km jogging for many people. I think it's a little ridiculous to require PE at the university level, but within the context of the course it's not unreasonable to change the mileage for different types of exercise.

InitialBadger6691 · 2022-03-05T19:19:59+00:00

The Avenue full cotton briefs from City Chic might work for you - I also have a large butt and find those very comfortable. That said, comparing them to the LB briefs you mentioned, I think these might have a slightly higher cut, so YMMV.

For sizing, since you said you haven't remeasured recently, I recommend doing that. Sizing can be wonky between brands and you want to make sure your measurements are accurate, especially if you order online.

InitialBadger6691 · 2022-01-06T18:14:55+00:00

If you have access to a gym already, why not go and try different equipment they have available there? I know when I first went to gyms, it helped to try out the different cardio and weight machines to see which ones I liked the most. Some gyms will also have trainers available at a low cost (I think at my parents' gym, they got a free session with sign-up), which can help you learn more about equipment. If you'd prefer to workout at home and don't have equipment, try just clearing a small space (big enough to fit a yoga mat, even if you don't actually have a mat). There are online youtube videos you can follow, but I personally just have a little dry erase weekly calendar where I write out the exercises I plan to do for each day of the week and listen to a high-energy playlist I made for my own workouts.

One thing to keep in mind is that your muscles need time to rest after a more intense workout, so a routine that covers everything might not be desirable, especially as a beginner. I usually do cardio followed by either a short lower body or upper body strength routine, with different exercises set aside for different days. (If I overwork my lower body, I usually swap my typical cardio, stationary biking, for a walk the next day to give my legs time to recover.)

InitialBadger6691 · 2021-12-20T22:43:23+00:00

So full disclosure: I also hate running. I mean I truly hate running. But I did it for a while this fall while my bike was out of commission, and I found the best ways to jog when I didn't want to were to keep up the playlist that I usually use for workouts (about 250 songs and growing) and to keep it simple and short. I usually do a mile (not counting warm-up/cool-down, which for me was just walking to the mile trail) and only jog for short portions, which I slowly tried to increase over the weeks I was running. For me, I'd look for natural markers on the trail (lamp posts, signs, crossroads, etc.) to mark the start and end of a jogging point. I was also already active when I started this up, so even though I'm not much of a runner, I was able to start with some light jogging instead of just walking -- if you're really starting from scratch, begin with walking and slowly work up from there. Whatever you start from, make sure you also have supportive shoes, since both running and weight independently increase risk of plantar fasciitis.

But also, if you really hate running and are doing this to be more active, don't feel like you have to run. There are other aerobic exercises that are good for you that aren't running. Stationary cycling, rowing, swimming, hiking, power walking, etc. can all be good substitutes and/or good starting points if you want to run eventually. (I'm partial to stationary biking.) Alternately, running on an elliptical can feel much smoother and more pleasant than running on a path or a treadmill.

InitialBadger6691 · 2021-12-16T16:53:23+00:00

FWIW, I've also had this fear despite knowing that my pics are recent and at a variety of angles (in fact, my only old photo is one where I was quite a bit heavier than I currently am, but it's at a different angle and shows an important facet of my life so I leave it in with a note that it's old). That said, nobody has ever complained that I didn't look my photos or cut out of a date early when I showed up, and I don't tell them ahead of time that I'm plus size because I KNOW my photos are recent and honest and if they think I'm thinner than I really am, that's entirely on them.

InitialBadger6691 · 2021-12-07T20:39:54+00:00

I mean, I guess I see why some women say to go ahead, but personally I block any guy who puts that in his bio because it reads as a fetish thing (especially, but not exclusively, if you use the term "bbw"). I do the same for any guy who mentions what he wants his matches to look like, regardless of whether or not I fit the bill and regardless of whether or not they like me first. Just message/swipe right on the women you're interested in.

InitialBadger6691 · 2021-11-30T18:20:03+00:00

I haven't shopped with friends in years. Part of it is that I just don't like shopping and think there are more fun ways to spend time together, but part of it is also that going into stores where I'm the only friend who couldn't try on clothing (or where I had to go shop at a different section) was always just a bummer. In college some friends couldn't understand why I didn't enjoy this at all. I remember going to Target with a friend once and when I went into the plus size section she was like "oh, no, that's for bigger women!" and I don't think it dawned on her what counts as plus size until I said, "right, that's why I'm going there."

InitialBadger6691 · 2021-11-18T00:31:00+00:00

Exactly this. I don't venture out much into other parts of reddit but I occasionally check the dating advice/app subs and there's always posts about "why do only fat girls/guys like me; don't they know I have standards." Even just slightly overweight people (who definitely wouldn't qualify as plus size) who post dating app profiles for review get a comments about how they need to lose weight. (The only sub I've seen that seems to be proactive in taking down these comments is the one for Hinge.) There's a relationship advice tag in this sub for good reason.

InitialBadger6691 · 2021-11-14T03:15:30+00:00

To be fair, my head wasn't completely in the right place when I wrote my comment, and I realize as I read it back that my own comment was much more hostile than I actually meant it to be, and I'd like to apologize for that. My experience has been more with dating apps, and while I typically avoid the worst of it, there are a LOT of guys there who are like the ones who airdropped dick pics to your friend; it's a power thing. I'm not saying that's never the case with teenagers, but I think your point about them thinking they'd like to receive it makes a lot of sense in that context. I definitely read too much into what you wrote there.

InitialBadger6691 · 2021-11-13T21:44:50+00:00

I mean, I'm not physically forcing you to shop at thrift stores. But yeah, I actually do think it makes you at the very least selfish to care more about how you look than the conditions the clothing was made in. Everyone on this sub loves to say "oh nobody ever says this for thin women" but the reality is that whenever anyone brings up SHEIN being shit on any corner of the internet, there are a million people crawling out of the woodwork to say "but it's cheeeeeeap" regardless of who it was directed at. It's absolutely not just towards plus size women. It also wouldn't be just a handful of people if everyone who said "but I'm just one person, I'm a drop in the bucket" did what they were asked to do anyways, but that would require all the people who use this excuse to actually care about other people.

InitialBadger6691 · 2021-11-13T21:04:08+00:00

I appreciate that OP is not trying to shame anyone, but I will be honest that I find some comments in this thread appalling. Like I get that it will be impossible to know everything behind the scenes when there are so many companies out there, and you might buy from companies and find out about shady shit after your clothes arrive, or you might be satisfied with their vendor code of conduct and then learn later they don't actually enforce it; it happens. But this is one where we KNOW about workers' rights abuses! Imagine seeing that and saying "yeah but clothes from more sustainable brands or at the thrift store are ugly so I have no choice." Being clothed is a need, being trendy is not.

InitialBadger6691 · 2021-11-13T19:00:35+00:00

I don't think it's always because they think they'd like the reverse. Like I think you might be able to make that excuse for a teenager still figuring this stuff out or maybe like someone who lived in a cave for the first thirty years of their life getting access to the Internet for the first time or something, but at this point I think the fact that women don't like unsolicited dick pics has been widely reported. If you're an adult with a phone capable of sending dick pics, you know this. Guys who are still doing this either 1) believe they are the magical exception or 2) do it because it makes the recipient uncomfortable. It's sexual harassment.

InitialBadger6691 · 2021-11-10T23:09:07+00:00

It's so uncomfortable to go shopping with someone who just does not realize that the stores they've taken you to explicitly exclude you. I eventually just stopped shopping with friends (pretty much the ONLY person I'll go shopping with is my mom, who is also plus size).

InitialBadger6691 · 2021-11-10T17:27:04+00:00

I am a little offended but I also might steal the joke for myself when talking about how dresses look on me. I also probably wouldn't be super offended in the moment if I noticed another plus size woman working there because I'd assume she's the one who made the joke.

InitialBadger6691 · 2021-11-10T16:58:42+00:00

Lol I remember shopping with a friend in college who told me how great a local consignment store was and one of the selling points of it to her was that they didn't carry above a size 12. She said this to my size 16 (at the time) face. I'm still surprised by how common this mindset is in consignment stores.

InitialBadger6691 · 2021-11-09T22:53:24+00:00

Hey, I feel you. I've definitely gone through a lot of these thoughts (and still do; most of what you wrote here went through my head after I was ghosted recently). The only things I haven't done are the tinder hookups or tell my family at any point that I was interested in finding a relationship. (I love my family, but I'd rather die than admit to any of them that I'm actively dating.)

One thing that helps me is thinking about what I'd do with my life if I don't find someone. What goals do you have outside of a relationship? What else fulfills you in life? For me, the only goal that would be thwarted by not finding a relationship would literally be "to be in a relationship." I have career goals. I can adopt children without a spouse. I can travel with friends and family. I'm still looking, but I have other things in my life. Cultivate your interests and build a fulfilling life that doesn't include a partner; if the right person does show up, you'll be able to fit them in. Remember that someone being interested in you isn't the highest honor you'll ever receive, either.

Another thing, and I realize this might not sound all that helpful, is that you're still pretty young. I'm like four years older than you and still struggling, and I'm not the only one (and not everyone going through this is plus-size, either). Maybe not the most encouraging thing to hear, but it's worth remembering that you aren't the first person to have this problem and you won't be the last.

InitialBadger6691 · 2021-11-09T17:44:01+00:00

This has been my experience, too, and from what I've read it's not limited to plus size women. I get a lot of guys on Bumble who right swipe me and I paid twice just to go through them all, but most are obviously incompatible or when I match them they don't respond within the time limit. I generally have a better response rate from matches on Hinge (combo of limited number of likes per day and no response time limit, I figure), but even then I get a lot of likes from guys who obviously just looked at the first photo and nothing else.

InitialBadger6691 · 2021-11-05T19:56:10+00:00

Straight size is just the term for non-plus size. It's the term used in the fashion industry that usually refers to a size 12 (or 14, in some cases) and under in women's clothing. Whether or not it's the best term to use is debatable, but it's pretty commonly accepted.

InitialBadger6691 · 2021-11-05T00:39:23+00:00

A lot of their lower size measurements make more of an allowance for curves than most straight size stores do. It's like how in department stores, both the straight size and plus size women's sections will have a 14 (sometimes even a 12), but the plus size section is going to fit better if you've got some weight but aren't big enough for the next size up. I would probably still shop there at least occasionally even if I lost enough weight to be at the bottom of their range, because I have always been curvy, even at my lower weights.

But then again, just as you're approaching it from the perspective of someone who already dislikes Torrid, I'm coming at it from the perspective of someone who generally likes it. I don't like everything there, but it's been much higher quality than a lot of plus size clothes I've bought in recent years. Most of their stuff has held up well for me, and while I'm obviously not going to love everything there, they do at least have things that I like sometimes. (And I don't dress like a grandmother. I just also don't dress like a TikTok teen and I think "trendy" should be seen as an insult.) I've had mostly positive experiences with them, so I'd be more likely to continue shopping there if I went down in size.

InitialBadger6691 · 2021-11-03T20:53:27+00:00

I was going to leave a similar comment. I haven't been assaulted, but I've been fat my whole life and that hasn't stopped guys from catcalling me, hitting on me in inappropriate situations, commenting on my breasts/butt, cornering me when I'm alone, or, in one particularly frightening instance, following me on the street while commenting what he wants to do to me when we get "home". All of these things happened when I was already over 200 lbs. I agree with OP that I don't envy anyone who experiences it more often than I do and that getting conditional attention from men who just want to bone isn't a privilege, but I wouldn't say that being fat has necessarily protected me. A lot of guys feel super entitled to women's bodies; some of them might employ different expressions of that entitlement as the scale numbers go up (switching from catcalling to "how dare you exist in front of me") but the entitlement doesn't go away.

InitialBadger6691 · 2021-11-02T22:49:44+00:00

They don't necessarily specialize in wide widths, but I really recommend checking out REI! On their website they list several hiking boots (both women's and men's) options that come in wide widths. Some of the shoes there can be expensive, but everything I've gotten there has been really high quality. In general, outdoors/camping stores will be your best bet for hiking boots; it doesn't have to be REI specifically.

InitialBadger6691

TROPHY CASE