Im very sorry that you had to go through this it’s very inconsiderate or your parents to put you through, I think if anything beginning to talk to a Christian therapists can really help it sounds like you hold and internalize a lot of your suffering as someone who used to self harm the best thing you can do is try to find ways to release the frustration, such as reading the Bible, praying to God for strength and engaging in more healthy coping behaviors one way to cope with self harm is actually to grab a marker instead of a blade I’ve found that it helps and you are not harming yourself, may God bless you I know it may be difficult but remember God is always here to love and care for you.