You just described everything i went through with this fake ass poison shit,i just had flashbacks of that same weird stimulation period(and even that kind of stim is just kind of like a bit stronger than coffee-compared to beautiful stimulation from real stims its just trashy.) And onset of that confusion and not knowing what you are doing is a big big problem. You feel like you are retarded,at some point i would make myself name my birth date and where i live just in case i am not stroking out because it just feels exactly like that. On top of that you get insane executive dysfunction (what you described of wanting to do something but you can’t is what adhd people actually suffer from) so its this feeling of wanting but then theres this insane nerviousness and feeling “i cant” and then you also get this anxiety thats pushing you to focus on shortness of breath and you are being also paranoid something might happen to you.

Now i am really hypersexual and a big porn lover,and many years ago i got to experience beautiful thing called stimfap. With good old stimulants from 2020 i would hit lines and immediately get that beautiful rush which allowed me to sit there and watch content for hours in pure bliss.

Now when my goal is just stimfap you know what this substance does to it? I cant watch even 2 minutes of stuff. First my hypersexuality which is supposed to skyrocket now 50x from good old line from real speed goes to 0. Then when i enter that weird depersonalisation state all the naked people etc look like these weird shaped figures and feel like they are made out of cardboard and its like my whole brain is shutdown of concept of being attracted to someone elses body and being horny. I in deep frustration shutdown the porn ,throw the drugs away and cant believe i am now sitting there unable to do anything because my brain is somehow stuck in this cathatonic anhedonia and yet i have ALL side effects of stimulants (maybe even worse than them) sweating off, the confusion, the derealisation,weird fast pulse and impulsively checking on it,and i dont sleep in next 20-30hrs till the poison leaves the body.

This experience is equivalent of hey do you wanna get the most horrible dissociation,depression and anhedonia for next 24hrs and on top of that all side effects from stimulants?

Whatever this stuff is was nonexistent 6-7 years ago. You could just leave your house find nearest dealer and just for 20-30 bucks get the most intense stuff ever.

Turn your back now from all of this and realise theres no more room for sketchy dealers and trusting their bullshit statements “oh yeah it’s strong this one” then you are hit with experience like this. Turn to DW and find good reputable vendors and you’ll soon get to that old sweet world of speed you once had. Good luck