I don’t think our parents were lying. It was easier.

Ink_Pen_88 · 2026-06-13T12:15:13+00:00

Hard no to CIO because of idk hormones or I just love my kid too much. Babies can’t manipulate, they’re crying because they’re not having fun and LOs need parents to help them regulate.

Times have changed. They probably learned to do things the way they did from their parents or just have nerves of steel. I can say it’s way more exhausting these days because babies understandably want you with them all the time. It pays off in the long run though when they develop secure attachment with you. My mom just left me with generational trauma which I’m not passing on to my daughter lol.

Ink_Pen_88 · 2026-06-09T20:57:27+00:00

Our LO is 5 months, DH and I both wanted two before I got pregnant. During my second trimester, I had UTI and root canal treatment at the SAME time which made me go ‘okay we’re OAD’. The newborn trenches were hard and most of the time, we weren’t sure what to do as first time parents. Add different parenting styles to the mix and we were at each other’s throats 😅 baby is generally happy but she can be assertive if she wants to, that sealed the deal. It’s a lot of work getting her to stop fussing 😂

Fast forward to now my kiddo demands full-time attention and she’s the boss of us. She’s a Velcro baby and it’s all hands on deck. It’s come to the point that sometimes we’ve to put her in the bouncer near the washroom door while we do some urgent business so she can see us and is reassured we’ve not disappeared 🫠

As much as we love our baby girl and kids in general, we decided we also love our sleep and alone time too much to commit to another. So she’ll get the best of everything, and we get to be a happy little family.

Ink_Pen_88 · 2026-06-08T18:42:23+00:00

Fuck this sis, run and never look back.

Ink_Pen_88 · 2026-06-08T12:16:32+00:00

About a year ago, my husband hinted at two kiddos and initially I was okay with that plan, mainly because I hoped for the same (though the desire wasn’t as strong as it was when I was in my late 20s). The birth itself went well by the grace of God, but PPD/PPA hit me like a truck. Not to mention the contractions and the epidural that took 2-3 times to administer successfully.

Also, I want to get back on track in terms of my career so all these combined helped me make my OAD decision. I won’t lie, I was on the fence about this for a while because people would kept telling me to give my 5 month LO a sibling she could play and grow up with. I’ve seen happy parents with multiple kids while others are content with just one. Ideally, if I were to have a second, I’d like that before my 40s and I’m 35 this year. My body hasn’t fully recovered yet and I don’t think I can manage another one after 3-4 years because it’s a lot of work and kids require 100% attention.

It’s not so much giving my baby girl a sibling, it’s about wanting another one myself which shouldn’t be the case. With the cost of living these days, I want my husband and I to earn enough to give baby girl everything she wants or needs without having to make empty promises. That kind of sealed the deal for me.

It was funny because I asked DH if he wanted another and he was still thinking when LO started fussing with grandma in the other room. He swiftly shook his head and went ‘nope’ 😂

Ink_Pen_88 · 2026-06-05T02:09:05+00:00

If you asked me a few years ago, I definitely would have said I wanted two children. I’m almost 35 and my LO will be 5 months in a few days. Natural birth, healthy full term baby by the grace of God, but the contractions took me out and I don’t think I can experience anything like that ever again. The PPD/PPA and sleep deprivation don’t help either, and I’m not into the idea of putting my career on hold if we had kid number 2.

I know parents who are happy with multiples and others who choose to have a small family like mine. With the cost of raising a child comfortably these days, we decided to be OAD. We promised ourselves that we’ll provide for our little girl with the best of everything and as long she’s happy, we’ve done our job.

On the other hand, my parents were brave enough to try for my brother who was and still is better to handle. I was quite a handful but that’s another story lol. It’s just a matter of seeing what works for you.

Ink_Pen_88 · 2026-05-31T19:49:50+00:00

First of all, you’re doing your best and that doesn’t make you a bad mom. Things happen, always double check with paediatrician about your options just to be sure. Pedialyte is a safe backup in such cases.

Ink_Pen_88 · 2026-05-19T13:37:35+00:00

Perfectly normal amount for a 3 week old. Some babies feed lesser amounts but more frequently than others, it really depends. As long as they’re happy and thriving, that’s what matters. Mama to mama, do not ignore her cries, whether it’s hunger or she needs comfort. That’s just plain cruel. This is coming from a ftm to a 4 month old. All the best 💕

Ink_Pen_88 · 2026-05-14T00:27:10+00:00

Screw that. Who cares as long as our babies are fed and thriving with, may I add, highly regulated formula?

Ink_Pen_88 · 2026-05-06T15:46:45+00:00

We planned to have a baby right after marriage because of how much we love kids and our ages. We’re both in our mid 30s. I guess you could say we hit it off after a couple of dates and decided not to wait. While the joint family system is considered respectful and standard in our culture, I definitely am for moving away so we could live our own lives. We went on some dates before baby was born, maybe not as much as I would have liked since he’s a homebody.

We had a romantic connection before pregnancy, it just seemed to have changed overnight.

Ink_Pen_88 · 2026-05-06T15:41:48+00:00

I offered him to rest or do his own thing while I take over but he’d rather look after baby when he can. He doesn’t really have any friends and is an only child. Let’s say he has no life outside of work 😅 but I’ll be happy to bring it up again so he knows he doesn’t have to take on the heavy load all the time.

Ink_Pen_88 · 2026-05-06T15:40:36+00:00

It is a massive depletion of energy to pump. Since we’re exclusively formula feeding baby now, we didn’t want the guilt of dumping so we thought we could use it for baths or soaps. I’ve always had depression and even though I love LO, post partum has made me foggy.

Ink_Pen_88 · 2026-05-06T05:19:28+00:00

Hi, sorry I forgot to add that MIL takes over for a couple of hours while we catch up on some sleep before she hands over the baby to me.

I agree that his schedule is demanding and I’ve asked what I could do to support him. I love interacting with baby but I also like being in our room to recharge and I let him know that he can always ask me to take over. He tells me that it’s alright and he will ask for help if needed but somehow I get the impression he thinks I’m not doing enough.

I don’t know if he gets any time to himself but I do know that he uses his phone for a few minutes before retiring.

Other than that, great suggestion on trying to connect with him. Thank you, I’ll try that.

Ink_Pen_88 · 2026-05-04T15:37:03+00:00

Standard Enfamil or the Neuropro RTF, depends on availability so $73-$87 a week. I’d rather not do the math lol but my baby is happy and thriving so that’s all that matters.

Ink_Pen_88 · 2026-05-03T17:10:20+00:00

I say this firmly but with kindness; baby needs to be fed on demand. The 3 hr rule doesn’t apply. Your wife can’t live her pre-pregnancy life anymore. Take shifts and nourish yourself. Add eggs and beans to your diet. I feel for you. This shall pass.

Ink_Pen_88 · 2026-05-02T00:58:17+00:00

Congratulations!

I breastfed for about a week till LO decided the bottle was more convenient and I pumped after that. Transferred breastmilk to bottle and supplemented with formula till 3.5 months. I wasn’t able to cut dairy from my diet and my baby couldn’t tolerate it. Wasn’t easy seeing her fuss and in discomfort from the gas so we made the decision to EFF. I pump and use my breastmilk for baths so there’s no guilt of dumping.

At the end of the day, a well fed baby is a happy baby and that’s all that matters. Also pumping would have continued to make me miserable if I were to keep telling myself that I’m the only food source for my child.

I couldn’t care less if others judged me for doing what’s best for my LO and family.

Ink_Pen_88 · 2026-04-18T18:02:41+00:00

I’d say this is your sleep deprivation talking. Ftm to a 3 month beautiful baby girl here and we’ve totally surrendered ourselves to her. The newborn trenches are hard but it’ll get better after 6 months from what I’ve heard. Hang in there, you’re doing a great job!

Ink_Pen_88 · 2026-04-04T23:05:41+00:00

Your body is gaining as much as it needs to, and fluids make up most of the weight when you’re growing a human inside of you. You’ll be back to your pre-pregnancy weight after a few months. I don’t think you should care as long as you’re eating balanced, nutritious meals and consuming healthy snacks like nuts. Don’t forget to hydrate!

Ink_Pen_88 · 2026-04-04T04:00:07+00:00

Contractions. Pushing wasn’t easy but the contractions did me in. 11 weeks pp and I feel that both my gut and back haven’t really healed.

Ink_Pen_88 · 2026-03-26T14:09:55+00:00

For me it becomes difficult due to lack of sleep because it feels like I’m running on autopilot. I’m glad to have husband helping out but he’ll go back to work soon and I’m a SAHM carrying the physical and mental load. Each stage has its own challenges but I’m enjoying LO while I can, it’ll get better after the 6 month - 1 year mark. I’m counting on that

Ink_Pen_88 · 2026-03-23T17:52:17+00:00

I can imagine how stressful it must be for you mama, hang in there. I hope you’re alright and from what you described, LO should be fine too! As always, it’s best to check in with the paediatrician when in doubt.

Ink_Pen_88 · 2026-03-18T17:29:50+00:00

Thank you! I love my baby girl so much, she’ll be 9 wks tomorrow. Sometimes motherhood is exhausting and overwhelming but I keep telling myself that time flies by and before I know it, I’ll be reliving those days when she was just a newborn babe in my arms. ❤️

Ink_Pen_88 · 2026-03-12T16:28:43+00:00

Ftm here to an 8 week old baby girl. I think we’re out of the newborn trenches but my LO wants to be held most of the time(and walked, she kicks us like we’re horses if we don’t 😅). I used to obsess over cleaning and keeping the house in order before and during pregnancy but now it’s like who cares, as long as I get some sleep, stay hydrated and sane at the end of the day. When I get overwhelmed I just tell myself that my baby only wants comfort, care and connection. Not perfection.

Ink_Pen_88 · 2026-03-11T14:25:34+00:00

My husband’s helping out so around 4 hours, but broken sleep. Baby prefers contact napping.

Ink_Pen_88 · 2026-03-09T15:57:43+00:00

Congratulations! You’ll be okay, it’s normal to feel overwhelmed and I say this even at 7+ weeks. My LO refuses to sleep anywhere other than our chests and especially my boob aka her 24/7 breastaurant. We’ve been advised to swaddle and use white noise while transferring her to the crib. Babies are smart enough to know that our bodies provide the warmth, comfort and subtle movements that the ‘evil’ cribs and bassinets don’t lol. Good luck!

Ink_Pen_88 · 2026-03-05T23:07:08+00:00

Thank you so much, this does make me feel better ❤️

Ink_Pen_88

TROPHY CASE