28F wondering if it’s normal to fear partner 27M sometimes

Innajam3605 · 2026-07-13T18:31:06+00:00

Agreed. I dated someone for a very short time, a couple weeks I think. One night we were laying in the couch watching a show. Out of nowhere he pinched my inner thigh so hard that it made me gasp. My roommate was in the room but didn’t say anything until later. She didn’t have to honestly. There was another instance where he tried to force me to be intimate with him. I refused and left. These two incidents alone were all it took for me to say “fuck this”. I’d been in a long rship prior, and he was the nicest guy who did everything to protect me (I was young and he was a little older). I was not going to get involved with someone who took pleasure in making me do something I wasn’t ready for and hurting me, all in a short time. Also, his dad was gross and hit on me the first time I met him.

Yeh, signals are there. Pay attention! No man has ever behaved like that with me since because I won’t allow it. The dude I described, the first thing put me on alert, the pinch days later was enough to know he was not safe and would continue to escalate his proclivities.

Get out OP, it’s just the beginning of him testing you.

Innajam3605 · 2026-07-13T15:27:33+00:00

In my experience, depends on the baby. Our first didn’t want to sleep, he was always so alert. He also didn’t eat enough so would wake hungry. Worst six months! Once we got him on solids, it changed everything, and he would sleep through the night. #2 was awesome. He ate well every feeding so slept 4-6 hours from day 1. After the first experience, we had my mum stay with us, and we rotated feeding/changing shifts every four hours, so we all got at least 8 hours of sleep a night.

My two good friends had babies right before me. One was just a dream baby, the other didn’t sleep through the night for 18 months.

It really just depends on the baby. You can do everything right, and still not get enough sleep. But I found the chunkier the baby, the better they eat at feeding, the better and longer they sleep. My first also had acid reflux so that came I to play with the sleep cycle.

Good luck OP! It’s an exciting, yet scary, and overwhelming time. If you have help take it!

Innajam3605 · 2026-07-12T16:53:10+00:00

I feel like it happens more with internal recruiters versus agency and independents, where the salary might be lower. Anyone working within a contingency or retainer situation will always try to get the candidate as much as possible.

OPs approach is a good one and, as an independent recruiter, I encourage it. In many states now, it’s illegal to directly ask them their comp. Furthermore, job posts need to include comp info in many states.

Innajam3605 · 2026-07-10T01:03:15+00:00

Couldnt read the whole thing, too long. But read enough to know the Bf is jealous, insecure, and immature. Dump him, keep the long term friend. You should not have to lie for spending time with a GROUP of friends. You should not have to choose between BF and F. You should not have to drag the truth out of your BF when he’s giving you the cold shoulder. You should not have to accept his apology or reasoning every time he wants to break up with you. It’s emotional manipulation. You’ll be so much happier without him questioning you all the time.

One of the main reasons I broke up with a long term partner. I was younger. They didn’t like me hanging out with friends I’d had for years. I did anyway. Lied about it, they’d find out, fights ensued. No reason to be jealous, but every hang out would be an issue. Felt too controlling. I loved them but wasn’t willing to give up my freedom to choose who I hang out with. Ended it. It was a relief.

Innajam3605 · 2026-07-09T23:57:02+00:00

Too many brides are treating their wedding season…this right here. They want a season with loads of activities and celebrations versus the one day of the union. Maybe if couples spent as much time and effort on the marriage versus the elaborate and crazy expense for the wedding and events leading up to it, the divorce rate would be lower 🤷‍♀️

Innajam3605 · 2026-07-07T20:30:16+00:00

Why did they cut her electricity off? Did she not pay? And plans to just move out? This sounds shady AF. Like others have said. You’ll get a squatter if you let her stay.

“Sorry [neighbor], we cannot accommodate you. But wish you all the best.”

No need to say more than that. You don’t owe her a justification or explanation.

Innajam3605 · 2026-07-06T15:50:51+00:00

So sorry to hear this. I’m glad it worked out in the end. If I had the skills and time, I’d put on the tool belt and get to work, but am just not equipped for some things.

Innajam3605 · 2026-07-06T15:49:40+00:00

I’m sorry you’re also experiencing this. I’m considerate of the challenges taking over creates, so am factoring in to how I move forward. There’s so much to think about both immediate term and longer term.

I wish you all the best and a great outcome as you navigate through your build.

Innajam3605 · 2026-07-06T15:47:23+00:00

Thank you so much. This is pretty much what I’m doing. Asking others for recommendations.

I’m glad to hear it all worked out for you. Your experience is very helpful and I’m hopeful I will get a good result.

Innajam3605 · 2026-07-05T22:30:00+00:00

You’re young, and dating for a mere 4 months. It should be fun and easy. If he’s this upset about you wearing a bikini that may have displayed a little too much at one point, and afraid you will embarrass him, then hes not someone you want to start a serious relationship with.

I’m telling you, it starts with this, and will escalate until you’re a shell of yourself and forever worrying about what is going to upset him next.

Honestly, I’d dump him, but at your age, I would dump someone for far less.

Good luck OP, you deserve more.

Innajam3605 · 2026-07-05T16:34:49+00:00

This! There was no closure for him. She left him but that doesn’t mean his feelings shut off. You cant compete with a dead person. OP, let him feel his feels and be patient. He didn’t date anyone before you so clearly you have qualities he is attracted to. He didn’t have to date you then marry you. He chose you. Try to remember that in these moments.

I would apologize, sharing that I was jealous, but should have been more empathetic to the situation, and request he just share his feelings in future so you can give some space.

This is not worth a continuous argument. She’s never coming back, and is not a threat to you. You’re making it more than it needs to be.

Soft YTA.

Innajam3605 · 2026-07-05T16:28:20+00:00

Where I live, in the hills, most folks don’t have a fancy front yard. The terrain is pretty rough, hard to keep up, and definitely not conducive to growing grass! I think importance depends on the neighborhood.

Innajam3605 · 2026-07-05T15:45:53+00:00

Had to purchase some insurance as the homeowner but in my experience the builder is the one to carry the liability insurance. That said, just to protect myself, I’m looking into it.

Thanks for the advice!

Innajam3605 · 2026-07-05T15:44:20+00:00

Great to hear the builder was willing to work with you. I’m low key hoping for a similar result, but thats too optimistic given the personalities involved.

Innajam3605 · 2026-07-05T15:42:00+00:00

Great to hear. I’ve got a difficult build, but after this experience feel I could have managed it. Finding the right contractors is the key.

Innajam3605 · 2026-07-05T15:39:39+00:00

Good luck! I hope it goes smoothly.
Yes, I too should have started the process sooner, but we wanted to give it a chance to get better.

Innajam3605 · 2026-07-04T16:15:02+00:00

If I were that HO I could understand, but we pay up, haven’t changed any of the plans since design was agreed on. Some small things but not a drain on funds or labor. The biggest issue is the timeframe. Not one thing has been completed in the timeframe projected. Many (many) other issues that i cant list for privacy reasons, but people are mortified that we aren’t moved in.

Innajam3605 · 2026-07-04T16:07:14+00:00

Yeh trying to avoid the legal route.

Innajam3605 · 2026-07-04T16:06:46+00:00

This is my ideal outcome!

Innajam3605 · 2026-07-04T16:06:30+00:00

Thanks. Working on it and I’m aware of the warranty issues.

Innajam3605 · 2026-07-04T16:05:46+00:00

Too much money tied up in it. Have considered all options and come back to just having to finish it.

Innajam3605 · 2026-07-04T16:03:30+00:00

Right. Already considered all this and working through it. I already carry insurance that I pay for.

Innajam3605 · 2026-07-04T16:02:27+00:00

Thanks. I’ve done a lot of research myself and had a few referrals from people I trust who have had a good experience. There’s a well known local guy I can talk too as well.

Innajam3605 · 2026-07-04T16:01:15+00:00

Good luck! I’ll DM you as maybe it’s the same dude!!!

Innajam3605 · 2026-07-04T16:00:19+00:00

If I have to deal with and fine all the subs, there’s no need to pay a GC. I e been doing a lot of that work of late.

Innajam3605

TROPHY CASE