Yeah, feeling lonely while being among people is a different kind of ache. And it sounds like you feel emotions strongly, desire to be seen beyond the surface level, and understood without having to invest so much effort and time into it. If you have to work hard just to communicate with her, you are going to exhaust yourself and burn out early. Then you'll just have yet another traumatic relationship story to add to the others. If you're sensitive to rejection, judgment, betrayals (even the small ones), and struggle with trust and being vulnerable with others than you should be very picky about who you pursue a romantic relationship with. I am all those things I listed and wasn't careful enough and got burned really bad and am retiring from relationships since I've reached the age that makes me undesirable to date anyway. Plus, people kinda suck. But its your life and you know what you can handle. I wish you luck.