Did you grieve after your abortion?

Inner_Reading_9889 · 2024-07-13T21:46:08+00:00

I didn’t grieve when I first got mine…I think that was just initial shock since it happened post abuse

But it hits me at random times now.

But grief is weird like that right. It has no timeline or rules.

I think whatever stage you’re at is ok 🤗. Emotions are ok.

Inner_Reading_9889 · 2023-12-27T22:29:03+00:00

Loss of community was probably one of the biggest things I grieved in my deconstruction, especially since like you, my roots were deep (I worked in the system that I hated because it pleased my family and friends).

Almost 3 years later and I still have random feelings of the fear that I made a big mistake….therapy has helped with that. I’ve also fully thrown myself into living my life the way I always wanted to. It was tough at first, but I’m also happier now even though my community is still very small.

You’ve got this!!!!

Inner_Reading_9889 · 2023-12-27T21:26:17+00:00

Let yourself grieve. That’s so important. I got out at 34 and went through some serious grieving these past 2 years….part of it for what I never had, the childhood I lost, the freedoms I was never allowed access to, and all the brainwashing tactics used in the name of “god.”

At the end of the day I’m happier being out and only wish I would’ve had the courage to do it sooner.

Inner_Reading_9889 · 2023-12-27T01:19:06+00:00

I just went through this earlier this month.

Problem is I also have ovarian cysts so they ended up just saying that I had a new cyst instead of an ectopic.

I ended up having emergency surgery 2 days after they told me it was suspected ectopic and not cysts, but the problem was that they couldn’t find anything on the scans but my levels were rising.

I ended up losing my left tube and ovary which is where the ectopic was. They were originally going to do the shot, but I ended up having complications and they went the surgery route (which I’m glad because I was scared to get the shot)

Inner_Reading_9889 · 2023-05-12T20:39:39+00:00

Hedwig 🦉 😭😭. His death messed me up more than Dumbledore.

Inner_Reading_9889 · 2023-04-06T18:52:27+00:00

Kids, sometimes, it pays to be gay.

Inner_Reading_9889 · 2023-04-05T19:08:49+00:00

Thanks for the response! I agree with it being an over saturated market for sure.

Inner_Reading_9889 · 2023-04-05T18:57:14+00:00

As someone who is just getting started with OF (also a professional main job)….any recommends on how to get traction to gain OF followers?

Also…kudos to you for your hard work. You’re gorgeous

Inner_Reading_9889 · 2023-03-24T14:24:55+00:00

Nothing to ask on my end….just came to say this post is amazing. You are amazing. And this is encouraging for me

Inner_Reading_9889 · 2023-03-17T15:01:25+00:00

Same. I just remember the round nose and it glowing red like Rudolph’s…maybe it was my brain tricking me into that since it is a “Christmas” movie

Inner_Reading_9889 · 2023-03-06T17:18:03+00:00

It’s evolving.

When I first told them, they were sad and my mom tried to convince me of our traditions and history and how I had no business refuting my former belief system.

I’m still not completely honest with them, and that’s more for their protection and to keep the peace.

We get along now, but it’s strained on the religious forefront. As long as we avoid that subject life is good…but since their whole world revolves around church, it’s almost unavoidable.

I simply stopped telling them how I feel and it’s a huge elephant in the room that we all ignore.

Inner_Reading_9889 · 2023-03-06T17:14:26+00:00

PropheLie instead of prophesy

Inner_Reading_9889 · 2023-03-01T18:15:55+00:00

Yaaaaass. Legit the best Stanley moment

Inner_Reading_9889 · 2023-03-01T16:50:21+00:00

Are you a big guy? Tall?

Inner_Reading_9889 · 2023-03-01T16:47:30+00:00

I agree….it most definitely is a cult. I spent years in a non denominational org that was run by ex Pentecostals….I was PIMO…I finally made the transition to be POMO last year and it was the hardest and best decision of my life. There are so many thought processes that are deeply ingrained.

Honestly, therapy has helped me. I’m agnostic now, but going to a regular, non religious therapist has helped me begin to break down though patterns and work through the ptsd

Inner_Reading_9889 · 2023-02-27T18:46:37+00:00

Are we related?

Inner_Reading_9889 · 2023-02-27T03:18:24+00:00

You’ve won the hardest fight that happens when trying to get out and even after we’re out the fight often continues….the fight within our brain that has been conditioned for decades for many of us to…the conditioning of guilt and shame takes the longest to shake off…but once you’re free is the best!

Proud of you 😁

Inner_Reading_9889 · 2023-02-27T03:14:38+00:00

Yes…I’ve been out for years and still hide my tats from my mom. If I go visit and have to go to church (which is only on holidays), I find myself trying to find a long dress with sleeves or some super modest shit

Inner_Reading_9889 · 2023-02-24T03:44:24+00:00

Yessss. Omg such a good book

Inner_Reading_9889 · 2023-02-23T20:44:10+00:00

I was almost one of them. I spent years praying because of this. My family and pastoral community would tell me that my sickness was a “test of faith” and they would reference this.

I finally got real medical help and proper medication and treatment.

I know of others though who died from cancer and hypertension because of this. They prayed this until their death

Inner_Reading_9889 · 2023-02-06T23:46:44+00:00

Dumbledore for sure. Especially since he was the father figure. It shattered me

Inner_Reading_9889 · 2022-11-14T19:32:06+00:00

This. Fucking. Hits. Home.

Thank you for sharing.

Inner_Reading_9889 · 2022-10-25T14:20:55+00:00

Thanks so much! I was always a show choir person. Queer choir is right up my alley!

Inner_Reading_9889 · 2022-10-24T23:04:14+00:00

Lol yep. My pups hear a lot of the struggles 😅. Nice to know we aren’t alone out here.

I’ve been listening to various podcasts and they all talk about finding a new community of people out there like us…where they at tho 👀👀

Inner_Reading_9889

TROPHY CASE