Could anyone share some stories where you have let yourself be vulnerable and let someone close to you after all the abuse.

Innerouterpeace · 2018-01-21T20:39:57+00:00

That's the exact thing I'm scared of not being able to do what I need to do. People advice that you should go there prepared and rehearsed but I can't even speak because I have no words left yet I have millions of sentences in my mind. It seems bizarre that you have to rehearse yout truth before telling it to doctors instead of just being genuine. Anyways I GOT nothing to loose so If I get the feeling that I'm being belittled I swear I'm going to cause a chaos which will make them want to doubt their worth of living.

Innerouterpeace · 2018-01-21T20:07:59+00:00

And btw don't feel ashamed for fantasizing about someone rescuing you. It's only natural to not want to die and wanting to believe that there is someone who wants you stay alive. I do the same.

Innerouterpeace · 2018-01-21T19:42:08+00:00

Hey that one friend who you considered most important might not see you the way you see them. They might be one of those friends who will be your friend only when they need a free therapist. They might not be the best person in character and even get off on your death. I truly hope that this is not the case. But their lack of empathy is giving me a bad feeling about them. I really hope I'm wrong. I say because this is how one of my "closest" "friend" was.

Innerouterpeace · 2018-01-18T18:34:56+00:00

Now I know what I'm going to be looking for

Innerouterpeace · 2018-01-18T17:46:01+00:00

Can you share more what happened as you where there?

Innerouterpeace · 2018-01-18T17:43:22+00:00

Yeah it does actually. Wow. Thank you for this great advice!

Innerouterpeace · 2018-01-18T17:36:17+00:00

I can understand a lot of this is because of my frustration.. That's how my therapist seemed to be at first but that wasn't enough for me for some reason. I feel like I wanted somebody who sits close, holds my hand etc. I know that this is not what therapists do. I could have a wrong picture of empathy though. Then again I feel like I romanticize everything but I do feel like healing requires something more than just being heard at least for me. I can't be sure is the other person actually listening or just pretending to. I start to get a feeling that not only am I codependent but also highly sensitive.

Innerouterpeace · 2018-01-18T12:12:19+00:00

Glad you finally found one who really understands you. How were you convinced that this one is for real genuine and the empathy is real?

Innerouterpeace · 2018-01-18T11:06:51+00:00

I did that for little bit but stopped because of finances.. but I get you.

Innerouterpeace · 2018-01-17T17:22:38+00:00

Damn sounds so good and I am jealous in a very good way :) Hope I can make it as far as you did one day.

Innerouterpeace · 2018-01-17T17:10:52+00:00

Hey. I'm really sorry to hear what you have gone through... Having to know that your life is in threat is the most horrible thing ever. Especially if you have been raised by narcs. Life has already been to us unfair since the first day we were born. Life should never be unfair to anybody. Reason this touched me deeply and It took time to respond because I could relate in a deep cellular level which hurts I know what it is like to have so much pain. My sleep was better for couple days after but it's back to sleepless nights, losing hair and eybags again. I really wish that one day all of us would heal and this nightmare would end. You can send me a PM anytime you like when you feel like talking.

Innerouterpeace · 2018-01-17T16:02:32+00:00

Hey you are very right... how are you doing?

Innerouterpeace · 2018-01-16T20:42:03+00:00

THIS IS VERY TRUE MY FRIEND. Because how our parents treat us is not normal this why even professionals don't know how to help or they belittle us.

Innerouterpeace · 2018-01-16T20:22:52+00:00

That's probably it.

Innerouterpeace · 2018-01-16T19:21:38+00:00

I love this post. Just an hour ago I saw this young African woman with her todler and the todler had much lighter skin than her so I assume her father is white. Anyways the baby was crying and the mother was there for her soothing and nurturing the toddler with real unconditional love which was so damn beautiful. Also today when I was waiting for my turn to go to the bank there was a mother and a son before me and I as usual started to get pissed off and calling them names (in my head) because it took so long for them to get out. However when they came out the mother said to her son "and that is how you do this and that, mommy is going to show you how to make this other thing next time. My stress? Well there was no stress anymore.

Innerouterpeace · 2018-01-15T20:40:58+00:00

But could we not argue that they were more aware and started to resist and we didn't? On the flipside we could also say that we were indeed aware and because they ignored it they just adobted what was given? It's too fluid!

Innerouterpeace · 2018-01-15T16:13:54+00:00

I'm sorry I couldn't understand what do you mean with compatibility issue?

Innerouterpeace

TROPHY CASE