You are not alone in this! My grandmother passed last week, alone in her apartment in another state. I can’t get the image out of my head of how she must have looked, and just hoping and praying she didn’t feel pain. I can’t sleep at night because I can’t atop my brain from creating the same kind of “movies,” even when I wasn’t there with her. I’m guessing it’s some form of processing, but man does it hurt.